


Since I've Found You

by Rearviewdreamer



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Bottom Louis, Homeless Harry, Homelessness, M/M, Past Abandonment, Past Relationship(s), Rich Louis, Slow Burn, Surrogacy, Top Harry, louis is the sun, two-part request
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-19
Updated: 2016-10-01
Packaged: 2018-08-16 00:25:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 74,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8079655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rearviewdreamer/pseuds/Rearviewdreamer
Summary: Louis woke up on the morning he was meant to volunteer at the Feed the Homeless program at St. Mary's church hoping for an opportunity to give back a little to a city that has given him everything he could ever want. Little did he know, there was one more great thing waiting there for him; a boy with radiant green eyes in a weathered jacket and a beat-up backpack slung over his shoulders.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [andthetreewashappy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/andthetreewashappy/gifts).



> When someone requests a story this amazing you don't ask questions, you just write it. Thanks again LolaTomma! You're the best <3

April

 

_The dark streets of the city seem to sneer and bite at him from every angle as he walks in no particular direction, going somewhere; anywhere that might be safe enough to get him through until morning. His feet scream and ache as they pedal him forward down the concrete. They’ve been throbbing all night. Each new step stings along the blisters he can feel forming inside of his boots and he’s just so tired._

_He slumps down with weak knees and a tight chest, the weight of hot tears pressing hard against his lids when he closes them and pillows his forehead on top of his bent knees. Around him, people laugh and cling to each other as they drunkenly stagger out of night clubs and pubs. He earns looks of pity from them, their faces warped from the silent tears that pool in his eyes and trickle down his cheeks as the commotion of two a.m. roars on. A club door slams open near him and a group of young men pile out of it, colorful and vibrant in the neon lights that stretch from the entranceway to follow their raucous energy._

_“Hurry up!” one of them cackles from the throng with a lit cigarette dangling from his lips._

_“I’m trying to get my share of the cab fare ready,” the straggler in the back answers distractedly as he digs through his wallet, pulling out a few crumpled bills._

_“Fuck your cab fare. We got an Uber. It’s on us,” the same one in front yells. “It’s already here. Let’s go, Lou, or we’re leaving your drunk arse!” The boy fumbles with getting the money back into his wallet. He drops a few bills and when he bends to pick them up he catches sight of the weary form curled up against the brick wall. Sympathy flashes across the boy’s face before his friends catcall him again for lagging behind. The boy pays them no mind as he collects the money at his feet and holds it out in selfless offer. A shaky hand reaches out to accept it and the drunk boy’s lips turn up._

_“Sorry you’re having a rough night. Feel better, yeah?” the boy whispers before hurrying to catch up with the people piling into the black SUV parked on the street._

_When they’re gone, their loud shouts out of the window about the night’s celebration floating down the street with them, he straightens the money out and counts it. It’s not enough to get him another room for the night, but at least it’s something. He gratefully tucks the money into the pocket of his hoodie and wipes his hands across his cheeks to get rid of the tears that remain glistening there. He doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do and he has nowhere else to go, but he pushes himself up from the cold pavement and keeps walking, because he knows he can’t sleep here._

 

 

October

 

Louis squeezes his eyes shut as soon as he opens them on Saturday morning, resenting the bright sunshine streaming into his face almost as much as the sound of his dog rustling against his bed, but none of it is quite as annoying as the persistent vibrations of his phone coming from somewhere beneath the sheets.

 

He blindly starts digging around for his phone and his puppy barks, excitedly shoving against the bed, sensing that he’s finally awake.

 

“ _Duke._ Why do you hate me? Go back to sleep,” Louis groans as his fingers curl around his phone. The sound of his voice only makes Duke more excited as he yaps and tries in vain to jump up on the bed with his short beagle legs.

 

Grudgingly, Louis opens his eyes to lean over the edge of the bed and scoop Duke up in one hand. He winces against the soft glow of morning that burns and blurs his vision after a long night spent staring at his computer screen.

 

Louis is attacked with slobber and tiny, clawed paws pushing into his chest as soon he flops back against his pillow, still completely exhausted. Dealing with Duke’s high energy is almost enough to make Louis forget about the phone still buzzing in his other hand. Almost _._ He puts his mobile on speaker, lays it next to his head on the pillow, and allows his dog to continue smothering him with love and affection as he greets his best friend with a groan. “Z, why do you hate me?” he asks, wondering why he can never seem to sleep in on the days when he is prepared to do just that. “What do you want?” Louis mutters petulantly. Duke answers his question with several enthusiastic yaps that turn into a succession of pitiful whimpers. Louis rolls his eyes because he knows _exactly_ what his puppy wants, Zayn however is another story.

 

“Oh, stop your whining, Lou. It’s past time for you to wake up anyway,” says the man who sounds like he hasn’t even been to sleep. Louis strains his ears and hears the faint sound of a big shoot out taking place on whatever screen Zayn is currently sat in front of. And yeah, Zayn _definitely_ hasn’t been to bed yet.

 

“You can’t preach about waking up when your arse hasn’t even seen a bed in twenty-four hours,” Louis retorts.

 

“It’s the weekend, I’m not sleepy, and you, my friend, have that Feed the Homeless volunteer thing at St. Mary’s today. You told me to remind you. This is me reminding you,” his business partner and junior director mutters alongside a litany of swears as his character undergoes some terrible mishap.

 

Louis lets out a sigh of great relief, thankful that he doesn’t have to go to the office today. Louis is the lead gaming designer at Mystery Van Studios, a company that he and Zayn built from absolutely nothing. One day they were a couple of teenagers playing video games in Zayn’s mother’s attic and then the next they were receiving their degrees for computer science and graphic design, and shopping around for investors who would take a shot on them so they could start up their own company. It’s not that Louis doesn’t love his job which allows him to live out his dreams and have this wonderful life, because he does. He just doesn’t like to spend all day stuffed in his office if he can help it, especially if it’s a bloody Saturday. Doing charity work isn’t so bad though. It could be worse.

 

“Oh, yeah. It’s at noon, right?” Louis asks.

 

“How the hell would I know? You didn’t tell me any of that. You just said to remind you about the homeless people thing at the church. I’ve done my job,” he rattles off over the sound of him still losing whatever game he’s playing as well as Duke loudly complaining about having no food and nowhere to piss with his big puppy eyes baring down at Louis from where his head and floppy ears are resting on his chest. Louis glances at the time and sees that it’s already a quarter past nine. Clearly, he won’t get to sleep in like he’d planned, but he won’t complain about the loss of a lazy day in bed when it’s for a good cause. Getting out of bed sucks, but it’s a small sacrifice he makes once a month that makes him feel like he’s a contributing member of society rather than a lazy sod who lays around designing and playing games all day.

 

“Alright, alright, I’m getting up,” Louis says with a resolved sigh. He receives several wet licks to his chin in celebration of his announcement. Zayn isn’t quite as excited as his puppy, but he does mutter something about him probably still being late even though he has two hours to get there.

 

“Whatever. I’m always on time,” Louis scoffs before Zayn laughs into the receiver and hangs up. Alright, so he’s _mostly_ on time, then. Whatever.

 

Louis extends his arms over his head in a stretch; one last attempt at really waking himself up before scooping Duke up in his arms and kissing the top of his little head. “Ready to go out, before I have to leave? Want some yummy food?” he asks and Duke scrambles out of his arms and down to the floor. His dog takes off running out of his bedroom, his claws scraping against the hardwood as Louis slogs along behind him.

 

*

It’s a quick walk from his flat, so Louis is able to show up at St. Mary’s five whole minutes before noon, partly because he wants to make a good first impression on the people running the event; mostly because he enjoys sending Zayn’s smug arse a snapchat of himself in front of the church with a bright shiny timestamp.

 

He’s greeted at the door by a woman with long grey hair and a vibrant pair of glasses on her face who eagerly grabs Louis’ hand to pull him inside. She introduces herself as Mrs. Dobson, but insists that Louis call her Marianne. She’s kind and looks so happy to have him there as she leads him to the kitchen with the other volunteers for the day. Louis can tell how big-hearted she is from the moment she starts speaking about the Feed the Homeless program that she and a few people from the community began last year. She informs him of the homelessness crisis and how the numbers just keep rising year after year. Her eyes are full of sadness and a fiery determination to help as she explains how a nutritious meal a few times a month is more than just a kind favor to brighten up their days, but that for many of the homeless, it often means survival.

 

Louis’ never thought of it that way. He’s volunteered all over the city and worked with different charities. Charities who support children, the elderly, and the ill. He even volunteered at an animal shelter one time which is how he ended up with Duke, but he’s never really worked with the homeless before.

 

“What made you and the other founders start up such an amazing program?” Louis asks once they arrive at the kitchen and he sees the stocked shelves and counters filled with the small amount of food that was donated over the past week.

 

Marianne looks around at the room full of volunteers here to give their time. She squeezes Louis’ hand and a cool chill shoots up his arm from her touch. “Everyone needs help sometimes, whether they know it or not, Louis. And it’s just a meal, but it could be you or I who needs it tomorrow.”

 

Her words stick with him, and no matter where his mind wanders, it comes right back around to them like little pins stuck in the same place on a map. The thought haunts him as he’s washing up veggies and helping to chop them up for sandwiches, while he’s helping to set the long rectangular tables, and even when he’s not doing anything; just looking at the simple things they’ve prepared for the unfortunate people in this city who don’t have the money to properly feed themselves, because Marianne is right. It could be any of them.

 

Louis remembers being a child and always wishing they had more money, that his mother could afford to buy him and his sisters nice things or live in a big, pretty house. His mother struggled to support all of them when their father walked out. All of the late nights and extra shifts at her multiple jobs that Louis resented as a kid, now look like blessings to him as an adult because a single missed shift or a couple of overdue bills could’ve easily been the beginning of the end. It could’ve been them.

 

Louis had started off his morning in a bit of a mood because he had to wake up earlier than planned, but he quickly lets go of his disappointment once he realizes that his time here with this charity is so much more valuable and important than an extra hour of sleep. He smiles and puts every bit of effort that he can into supporting Marianne’s cause, and when the doors finally open at two he’s more than ready to serve the people who have been waiting since this morning to get in. 

 

The serving tables are set up in a big ‘L’ shape at the back of the room with a long line of volunteers poised at each dish. Louis takes up the shorter end of the L all by himself with the sweets and desserts, but he doesn’t mind being in a different place than all the other volunteers because he’s quite enjoying talking to the people coming through the line. Men and women of all ages come in for lunch and every one of them has a rough past concealed within the gratitude in their eyes. Louis can tell that all of them have been having a rough time, but just as many of them smile and they thank Louis when he cuts them a slice of pie or places a spoonful of pudding onto their plates.

 

Most patrons who walk through the doors are quite social, engaging in quick chats with each server they encounter, but there are a couple of them who aren’t as willing to strike up friendly conversations. They slip in through the door as quietly as the fall breeze, silently pointing to what they’d like to eat while keeping their eyes downcast as they pass through the line like ghosts. Louis smiles and greets them anyway, sensing that these people are the ones that need his positive energy the most, hoping to at least let them know that to him, they aren’t invisible. Kind of like the hooded man who just slipped inside and made it halfway around the L without ninety-five percent of the people in the room even noticing.

 

Louis notices him alright even with his slumped posture and his arms tucked close to his sides; a hiding technique that isn’t very effective for him since he’s taller than almost everyone else in the room and tends to draw the eye. The man nods politely as he travels down the line, collecting food from each of the servers without so much as a whisper. He makes it to the dessert table where Louis’ waiting and holds his plate out near the chocolate cake in a silent request to receive a slice. A little crease forms between the man’s eyebrows when nothing immediately happens.

 

“Hello, there,” Louis says brightly with much more enthusiasm than this man – or boy, now that Louis can better see him- is probably used to hearing if the way he quickly glances up is any indicator. He meets Louis’ gaze with surprise and then gives Louis a surprise of his own when he responds with a quiet ‘hello’ spoken mostly to the worn shoes on his feet. It hasn’t been very cold lately, but the temperature is definitely starting to drop. For now, this boy’s lightweight hoodie and pair of ripped up jeans are fine, but it’s only a matter of time before the weather turns harsh and icy, and then what? The thought sends a wave of discomfort through his chest.

 

The boy peeks up at Louis again and the refreshing color of his eyes reminds him of lush forests and Springtime, banishing any feelings of unease.

 

“Um, would you like some dessert? Cake maybe?” Louis smiles, softer so as not to startle him like before.

 

The boy doesn’t say anything this time, but he does nod. Louis can work with a nod.

 

“Okay, great. Do you want chocolate or vanilla? You seem like a guy who enjoys a good slice or two of chocolate cake,” Louis says, smiling at his own attempt at a joke. The boy doesn’t seem to find Louis very amusing, but they’re making eye contact right now which is a lot more than anyone else in the room can say for their efforts. No one else here even tried to get him to talk.

 

Louis soon realizes that he’s probably not going to get another response out of him when the boy redirects his shy gaze to the floor, so Louis places a fresh slice of chocolate cake onto the empty space on his plate, knowing that’s what he initially wanted anyway.

 

Louis doesn’t expect him to say anything. He had to work hard just to get him to say ‘hi’ so he has no expectations of a farewell. Louis blinks up in genuine surprise, nearly missing the quiet ‘thank you’ he receives in return. Louis doesn’t get a chance to tell him that he’s welcome before the boy is walking off in the direction of one of the empty dining tables with both hands gripped tightly around the edge of his plate. A new group of patrons come through the line, but Louis discreetly keeps watch of the tall boy out of the corner of his eye. Louis watches as he pulls out his seat just enough to be able to sit at the table. He briefly glances around himself to make sure no one is watching him before picking up his fork and trying the cake first thing.

 

He eats nearly all of it with a look of nostalgia and ease like the dessert offers much more than the ability to sate his hunger. It’s a look that causes something resembling a grin to pull at the corners of his mouth, and for some reason, Louis can’t bring himself to look away.

 

The boy only eats a small portion of his meal. He uses the napkins on table to wrap up his sandwich, chips, and pieces of fruit he didn’t eat and carefully places them inside his backpack. He pushes his chair under the table and takes his dirty plate to the collection bin, but before he can make it out the door, he’s stopped by Marianne.

 

Louis watches on in fascination as the boy turns around and wrap his arms around Marianne’s shoulders in a tight embrace. Marianne hugs him back, saying a few words meant only for his ears. He nods with a small grin at whatever she said and then walks out of the door just as quietly as he entered it half an hour before.  

 

Marianne floats around talking to many of the patrons after their brief encounter. Louis continues working and serving the last few people coming through the line as the afternoon phases out into evening, but he keeps an eye on her, watching for a chance to call her over. He gets his opportunity when she comes over to check on him when it’s time to start cleaning up.

 

“You did such a great job for this being your first time working with us. Everyone here loved you. They said you were quite alright,” she laughs. “It’s always great when the volunteers chat with our guests and make them feel at home. You were quite the natural,” she praises him.

 

Louis didn’t think he was doing anything that special. He was just greeting the people coming through the line just like he would any other new acquaintance. Some of them proved more difficult to talk to of course, but Louis grins back at Marianne anyway, glad to have made her happy.

 

“I actually wanted to ask about something,” Louis begins. “About someone. The tall boy; he had on a beanie and a dark hoodie. You hugged him on his way out…”

 

Marianne seems to consider the description for a second before recognition lights up her face. “Oh, you mean, Harry,” she grins fondly. “He’s very sweet, that boy. He’s only been coming in for the past few months… What is it that you want to know about him?”

 

“Um, well. He’s rather quiet isn’t he? I know I’m chattier than the average person, but he seemed almost scared to speak to me; to everybody.” Everybody besides Marianne, that is. It’s not that Louis minds, he just wants to know how she managed such a feat when Louis had to practically pull teeth to get a basic ‘hello.’

 

“He’s a little wary of new people…of people in general really, and for good reason. The homeless aren’t treated very nicely outside of places like this. People like Harry are used to being yelled at or shunned. They’re avoided and ignored by most, so people like Harry tend to only trust a few people, and for him, I happen to be one of them.”

 

Everything Marianne just said makes Louis’ heart ache. He can’t imagine being spurned by society and looked down upon especially for something as trivial as his inability to afford new clothes or a place to stay. The people that came through here today were just like any other person walking down the street or riding the tube, they’ve just run into some bad times. Even so, that shouldn’t be a reason for them to be hated.

 

“He looked pretty young. Younger than everyone else who was here. Is- Is there not something that can be done?” Louis asks, certain that if someone was made aware that he could get some assistance.

 

“He’s actually been in touch with the community outreach and he’s on a waiting list for emergency housing.” That isn’t a magic fix for the fact that this boy has nowhere to live, but at least it’s a start. Louis doesn’t feel quite as anxious, knowing that he’s going to receive some help.

 

“How long will he have to wait?”

 

Marianne’s eyes turn a bit sad at his question. “Your guess is as good as mine, Louis. He’s been on the list for months, but he’s not in priority need. He’s a male over the age of twenty-one with no children and he’s not ill. He isn’t exactly at the top of the list for people needing immediate housing.”

 

Louis blinks at Marianne like she’s speaking some other warped, twisted up language. “What does any of that matter? What do they expect him to do?” Louis demands. “He needs help and has nowhere to go.”

 

“Sadly, neither do any of the other thousands of people in London who are homeless. It’s unfortunate, but as you can see, it’s not a perfect system. Some people fall through the cracks.”

 

“You mean people like Harry.”

 

“Yeah, love,” Marianne nods sadly. “Lots of people just like him.”

 

*

 

Louis doesn’t mean to let Harry consume his thoughts in the following days, but that’s exactly what happens. He passes homeless people on the way to work just like he has every day for the past six years, but he sees everything through a new lens, like thick cataracts cut away from his eyes to reveal the dim and lonely world that some have no choice but to live in. He sees the narrow-mindedness and the disgust etched into the faces of passersby as they zigzag through the crowds with blinders on, pretending not to hear when someone asks for spare change. Louis didn’t want to believe that people could really be so cruel as to yell or force someone to leave a place simply because they don’t want someone who’s homeless to be near them or their shop, but he sees it and he hears it and it makes him sick wondering how long he would’ve remained blinded to it all had it not been for the one chance encounter at St. Mary’s that suddenly made him give a shit.

 

Louis backtracks through every experience he’s ever had with a homeless person and finds that he doesn’t have many memories to choose from besides Saturday afternoon. Most of the time he’s so caught up with work and his job and his family to notice an outstretched hand or the silent plea for help from the withdrawn eyes that trail his expensive outfit and his fancy phone. Louis has given change to people on the street before, but only when he feels guilty for not doing so; only when he no longer wants to hear the sound of coins jingling in his back pocket after his fourth or fifth indulgent trip to Starbucks for that week. Louis has never been rude to them and he has helped in the past. He realizes now though that perhaps it wasn’t always for the right reasons.

 

He walks up the stairs and through the glass double doors of his work building noticing that unlike some of the other buildings he passed, he’s never seen homeless people even remotely near it.  This area was a bit rough when he and Zayn bought the place cheap in order to start up their business. He remembers a few people hanging around outside in its early days, but new businesses have sprung up all around them since then and now this street is one of the most progressive and coveted areas to work. Louis can’t figure out what changed and why.

 

He walks through the lobby and then takes the lift up to the main office space. He waves to his and Zayn’s employees hard at work in their cubicles, but doesn’t stop to chat and check on their progress like he would any other morning. Today, he heads straight for Zayn’s office which is directly across from his own. The glass door is open, so Louis walks right in but he would’ve done so even if it were closed.

 

Zayn looks up from his phone when he notices Louis standing there in the doorway. “There you are,” he grins, annoying as usual about Louis running a few minutes behind. “We have that team meeting in a bit. You want to order everyone breakfast again to lift their spirts about this deadline? It would be nice to have a doughnut before crushing people’s hopes and dreams about having a life this weekend.”

 

Louis nods with a big sigh as leans his weight against the threshold. “Yeah, sure,” he agrees. “We’ll order dinner in too since we’ll all be here late.” Louis brain is only half focused on work. He clears his throat before regaining Zayn’s attention. “Hey, um, Z… who’s the first person here each morning?”

 

“Not you, that’s for sure,” Zayn mutters. He smirks up at Louis to see his response, but he gets nothing but a furrowed brow. “Um, I’m not sure what happens in the morning. The whole point of running our own company is that we get to come in whenever we want. Why do you ask? Are you looking to give prizes to the overachievers who get here the earliest?” he smirks, earning another furrowed brow instead of a laugh.

 

“No. Nothing like that. I just-” Louis sighs, trying to find a way to explain himself without sounding crazy. “Have you ever seen people outside of our building? Like, I don’t know… _homeless_ people?”

 

“On this street? No, not in ages. I’m sure security gets rid of anybody loitering about by the time our building even opens,” Zayn says with an air of unconcern. It’s just as Louis feared and it makes his skin crawl hearing it confirmed; to know that someone using the awning on the side of their building as shelter for the night gets woken up and forced out onto the street all before Louis is even awake. He wonders if any of the people from St. Mary’s have ever been ushered away from his steps. God, he wonders if Harry has ever been one of them. He desperately hopes not.

 

“Lou, what’s going on?” Zayn puts his phone down when he notices something is really bothering him. “Did something happen outside just now? Do we need to call somebody? The police?”

 

“ _No_ ,” Louis rushes to say. Calling the cops is the last thing Louis wants to do. “No, Z. Nothing happened. I was just curious as to know why I never see anyone like that around here. It was just an observation.”

 

“Oh.” Zayn gives him a small nod, seemingly satisfied that Louis is okay and isn’t losing his mind. “This area has gotten pretty posh over the years so everyone tries to keep it that way. Most of the homeless I’ve seen are further out in the rougher parts of town. Alleyways, old buildings and neighborhoods, bridges; stuff like that. I honestly don’t think we have anything to worry about, Lou.” That’s where Zayn is wrong. Louis can’t remember the last time he worried this much about something outside of himself.

 

“Yeah, Z. You’re right,” he says even though he knows in his heart that he isn’t. “Um, I’m going to go order breakfast for everybody,” he says with a grin. It’s tight and it’s fake, but hopefully Zayn can’t tell. “I’ll see you at the meeting,” Louis says before pushing away from the door to sit in his own office to think and pretend to order bagels.

 

It’s later than usual when he gets off work. He gets home to his huge flat with the ceiling-to-floor windows that he always wanted whenever he imagined his dream home. He wanted this flat more than anything, and Louis doesn’t even clean the place himself. He pays someone else to do it. He also pays someone else to cook meals in his state of the art kitchen simply because he’s too lazy to do so. Louis glances out at the city tonight wondering how many people are down there staring up at him, wishing for a home ten times smaller than Louis’ and without any of its perks. He worked hard for the things that he has. He doesn’t regret being able to afford them, but he does wish that he had been a bit more grateful for the life that he has when it could’ve been so vastly different. Even when he was young, his mother worked hard to make sure he had a roof over his head and warm food on the table, but he never fully appreciated that either; not until now. 

 

*

Louis emails Marianne on Friday morning and lets her know that he’ll be coming in again to help out on Saturday. Her reply is quick and enthusiastic, thanking Louis for his dedication as well as the donation money he gave to the program the night before. He thanks her for giving him the opportunity to learn and to help and promises to be there bright and early on Saturday morning.

 

The entire office stays late on Friday, pushing themselves since their project is nearly two weeks behind schedule and they’re meant to present the finished product to the developer in eight days. Even he and Zayn have been zombified, sitting in front of their screens all day trying to help their team play catch up which is probably why Zayn raises an eyebrow when Louis gets up from the couch at half past eleven.

 

“Where are you off to? Another coffee run? Get me some too please,” he says as he continues to work.

 

“I would, Z, but I’m not going out. I’m heading home. I have an early morning,” Louis explains as he shrugs on his jacket. It’s a lot cooler out than it was last week, especially at night.

 

“An early morning? You going to see your mum or something?” Zayn asks with bright eyes, looking like he he’d drop everything right now to come with him. He loves being around Louis’ family almost as much as they love him being there.

 

“No, it’s not that. It’s late. I need to take Duke out and I’m going to St. Mary’s tomorrow to volunteer for the Feed the Homeless program. I promised I’d be there early.”

 

“Again?” Zayn’s face screws up in confusion. “You just went to that last weekend. I thought you only do charity one Saturday a month,” Zayn chuckles. “What, are you going for a record now?”

 

“No. I just really liked helping out the last time. It was kind of fun,” Louis explains with a shrug. “I want to go back,”

 

“So that’s what’s been up with you lately. You liked volunteering,” Zayn deduces, his eyes lighting up with understanding about why Louis has been asking weird questions and reciting homelessness statistics like an encyclopedia all week. “Well…cool. Glad you found something that you’re into,” Zayn says, sounding just like his mother yesterday when she said it was nice to see him getting passionate about something besides work. Zayn gives him a grin of encouragement when he wishes him a good night.

 

“Thanks, Z. I’ll call you tomorrow, alright?”

 

“Okay. Talk to you later. But, hey Lou,” Zayn says, stopping Louis before he even makes it to the lift. “Let’s not have a repeat of the last time you got really into volunteering.”

 

Louis frowns at his best friend. “What are you talking about _last time_? What last time?”

 

“When you volunteered at the animal shelter for one day and ended up going home with Duke in your arms. I don’t think St. Mary’s is really the place to be picking up strays. Especially stray humans.”

 

Louis feels his face flushing because Zayn knows as well as everyone else that Louis was never a pet person until he laid eyes on Duke and decided right then and there that they were meant to be. Zayn’s obviously taking the piss right now, but his joke really isn’t that far off the mark.

 

“Yes, dad. I promise not to bring home any strays. You have my word,” Louis rolls his eyes. “Good night. See you later. Don’t stay here all night,” Louis tells him before walking out.

 

*

Just as promised, Louis is up, dressed, caffeinated, and on the way to St. Mary’s all before nine the next day. He arrives about an hour later to Marianne’s delight and helps her with choosing the menu for the day and setting up the ingredients for the other volunteers. She decides on serving spaghetti for the main dish along with various other side items like baked bread and vegetables. She throws out the idea of baking different kinds of cookies for dessert this week since they have the materials to do so, but then Louis thinks about Harry last Saturday and how he seemed to enjoy the chocolate cake more than anything else so he expertly talks Marianne into letting them have both.

 

The doors open at two to let in the initial wave of people who have been waiting outside. Louis scans the crowd, however, Harry isn’t among them. Louis enjoys helping out and talking with the other patrons who do come in though since most of them recognize him from last week.

 

More than an hour ticks by as Louis works and there’s no sign of Harry. Louis starts to worry that maybe he won’t show; that he’s forgotten or even worse, that something has happened to him, but right when Louis is about to give up hope, Harry’s tall frame slips through the door as quiet as ever as he grabs a plate and gets in line.

Louis watches him again; all of his subtle interactions as he points and nods, trying his best to not draw extra attention to himself. His efforts prove pointless once he gets to the dessert table where Louis is waiting with a warm smile to welcome him.

 

“Hello, Harry. How are you today?”

 

Harry blinks at him a few times with his lips slightly parted in surprise at being greeted with such familiarity. Louis counts it as a win when Harry clears his throat and actually responds with a slightly suspicious, “Um- H-Hi.”

 

“So, would you like chocolate cake again?” Louis asks, already knowing the answer is yes before Harry nods. Louis slices one large piece and then another and quickly stacks them both in the empty space of Harry’s plate. “There you are. Hope you enjoy. Have a good rest of the day,” he beams. He expects for Harry to quietly walk away like the last time. Harry heads in the direction of the tables, but only gets a couple of feet away before retracing his steps to come right back in front of Louis.

 

“Sorry,” he apologizes first thing, “But how do you know my name?” Louis’ grin fades when he realizes that Harry may not be comfortable with Louis knowing who he is. If he made a habit of sharing details about himself then he probably would’ve done so on his own.

 

“I sort of asked Marianne…” Louis winces. “I hope you don’t mind. I should’ve checked with you or asked you myself. I’m sorry.”

 

“No, it’s okay,” Harry assures him. “I don’t really have a lot of friends, so I didn’t expect you to know who I am.”

 

So they’re friends, or at least on the way to being friends. And also, Harry doesn’t hate him for fishing for personal information behind his back. Good to know.

 

“Well since we’re now on a two slices of cake/first name basis, it might make you feel better to know who I am too. I’m Louis. It’s very nice to meet you,” he grins, sticking out his hand so that they can make a proper introduction. Harry stares at him for a long time with vague recognition almost like he’s trying to remember something long forgotten; or more than likely, someone. Louis wonders who it is that he looks like or reminds him of before Harry reaches out and finally joins their hands.

 

“It’s nice to meet you,” Harry says, more at ease, but still watching Louis with narrowed eyes. “Are you- Are you _sure_ we haven’t met before?” he asks, looking more and more convinced by the second that they have.

 

“Uh- Well, I guess technically I met you a week ago on sandwich day,” Louis smirks. He studies every detail of Harry’s face from the sharp cut of his jawline to the soft pink along the apples of his cheeks and the tip of his nose from the cold. He has no recollection of meeting someone with eyes as green and kind as Harry’s before last Saturday, but he really wishes that he had. “I don’t think I knew you before, but who’s to say we weren’t best mates or next door neighbors in a past life or something?” Louis jokes.  

 

Harry doesn’t respond to that. He gives Louis a small quirk of his lips, but there’s an uncertain air about it. He doesn’t get a chance to comment on Louis’ theory either because a new wave of stragglers who just walked in begin to quickly make their way around the L towards them.

 

“I kind of have to go now,” Harry says, with a glance down at the full plate of food that he has yet to take a single bite of as the new patrons close in on them.

 

“Yeah, sure, Harry. Of course. You go. Enjoy your lunch. I’ll see you next time,” Louis promises.

 

Harry nods and continues on his original path to the empty table. Louis watches him go until a woman with dark hair kindly asks for a slice of cake. Louis refocuses his energy on what he’s supposed to be doing, greeting the new people with smiles, but now each time that Louis takes a sneaky peek across the room, he notices that Harry is curiously watching him too.

 

It’s much later while Louis is helping clean up that Marianne comes over to congratulate him on another successful day. Louis thanks her for giving him the opportunity to help out, but admits that what he’s doing doesn’t really feel like much, considering.

 

“That’s not true,” Marianne assures him. “I saw you speaking with Harry when he was here. I told you that he doesn’t trust very many people. He’s been hurt in the past and it’s hard to win him over at first, so whatever it is you’re doing, you must be doing something right,” she grins.

-

 

The straps of Harry’s backpack pleasantly dig into his shoulders from the added weight of the new items of food he was able to box up and take with him from the church. Harry’s skin itches a bit from the slight pressure, but he won’t dare complain because at least he has something to put in his stomach the next time he’s hungry.

 

He remembers when he first found out about the free lunch offered through Marianne’s program. He used to be so hungry by the time that Saturday afternoon rolled around that he’d go to St. Mary’s and clean his entire plate. He soon realized that eating all of his food left him with virtually nothing to fall back on in case he ran out of other things to eat during the week. It only took a couple of weeks of him practically starving to death after running out of money and options for him to learn his lesson about that.

 

Today, he’s got some bread rolls, granola bars, and a few pieces of fruit from the produce store that replaces its merchandise every five days and gives Harry some in exchange for helping move the crates out back. And thanks to Marianne and the people at the church, he also has most of his spaghetti left and some vegetables in a container, and an entire slice of chocolate cake because that boy, Louis, gave him extra even though he’s not supposed to.

 

Louis is kind to everyone. Harry knows because he watches him when Louis isn’t looking, just trying to figure out what kind of person he is. He seems to like working with the program, but not like the other workers who are mostly students looking to get extra credit or special recognition for the volunteer hours they clock. Louis looks pretty young, but not young enough to be a student, so Harry assumes that he’s there giving his free time simply because he wants to. It would explain why he’s so keen on getting Harry to converse with him. It would also explain why he’s always wearing a smile even after he’s been standing behind the dessert table for hours with no chair.

 

Harry doesn’t know how, but he’s almost positive that he’s seen Louis before; heard the familiar lilt of his voice; felt the influence of his kind smile. Talking to him is like being inside of a distant memory or dream that he can’t quite remember the details of. There’s no logical explanation for feeling that way, so Harry just ignores it and chalks it up to a creepily weird version of déjà vu.

 

Harry doesn’t meet a lot of new people. It’s kind of difficult to make friends when you don’t have any money to go out or a fixed place for them to come visit him. Louis had looked so sad when Harry told him that he didn’t have many friends, but it’s true, and it’s not like Harry doesn’t enjoy getting to know new people, because he does. It’s just really hard when most people don’t want anything to do with him and the rest see him as competition for the best places to sleep and score free food. Friendship is a delicate word that he would only use to describe three relationships that he’s formed in the last six months and those few people include Marianne from St. Mary’s, Liam, one of the concierges from a hotel, and Niall from the coffee shop whom Harry is on his way right now to see. His social circle is tight, but maybe it could expand just a little to include one more. Harry will just have to wait and see he guesses.

 

The thought has barely even filtered through Harry’s mind when a man in a grey suit pushes past him with an offended grimace and his chin held high as he grumbles into his phone about fucking beggars taking over the streets. Harry stumbles a bit from the force of it, but thankfully regains his balance before falling over and crushing everything inside of his bag.

 

He brushes it off because things like this happen every day. There’s always somebody that turns up their nose or looks down on people like him for no reason besides the fact that he has less than they do. He’s been cursed and yelled at, taking mental and on two occasions, even physical hits, because of a situation that spiraled out of his control and left him without money and a place to live.

 

It’s not all bad though. Some people don’t hate him just because he’s breathing the same air as them. Some people are kind and good, offering their spare change or even just a smile when he’s having a really bad day. He feels so lowly at times, but people like that; people like Louis almost make him feel like the old Harry again. The Harry who had all the love in the world from his family. The one who was always happy and laughing. The one who never thought something like this could happen; not to him anyway. It’s those kind people that he relies on to get him through each day. Without them, Harry’s not sure where he’d end up. He doesn’t really want to know.

 

Harry turns the corner on Belvedere to go see one of those very people. He walks until he comes to the coffee shop tucked between a shoe store and a bank with the security guard who never meets his eyes when he pointlessly reminds Harry that his building is for customers only. He doesn’t say anything today as Harry walks by, but he feels the man’s eyes burning into the back of his head. Harry ignores the glaring just like every other day and steps up to the coffee shop door to peer inside.

 

He smiles when he spots Niall’s blonde head of hair dipped down behind the counter where he’s making someone a giant cappuccino.

 

Harry came here once to buy a strawberry scone but quickly changed his mind when he read the menu and realized he didn’t have enough money. Niall had been working that day along with two other employees who had their backs turned when Niall accepted his meager change and bagged up the scone anyway along with an extra one. He told Harry to let him know if he needed anything else, so he dug through his bag and handed Niall his water bottle which had been empty since the day before when he had found a random water fountain near the place he’d slept that night. Niall filled it without any questions and has done so ever since that day, but only when business is slow enough that no one notices, and only when his manager isn’t around to catch him entertaining the homeless guy.

 

Because Niall is amazing, he provided Harry with a schedule of the days and times that he usually works and Harry has since committed the schedule to memory and comes by for a hello or a quick fill up whenever he’s running low on clean water. The place is pretty empty today except for a couple having coffee at one of the tables and one of Niall’s coworkers behind the counter who doesn’t even look up from his phone when Harry walks in.

 

“Hey, mate! I haven’t seen you all week. Where have you been hiding?”

 

“I’ve been around,” Harry shrugs, the weight of his bag reminding him that he’s had a pretty good week all around all things considered. “How have you been? What’s new?” Niall rolls his eyes all the way to the back of his head.

 

“Around here? Not a damn thing. Still boring as ever. People come in, they order, and then thankfully, they leave. You’re about the most exciting thing that’s happened to this place in hours. At least you’re actually _nice,_ ” Niall says below his breath with a death glare over at a couple who must’ve been incredibly rude for Niall to hate them so much. He only seethes for a moment though before his easy grin returns. “Anyway. Fuck them. How’s your day going?”

 

“Pretty good. It’s Saturday, so I went to the church of course. I got some food to take with me. Even a slice of cake,” Harry grins, thinking about how much trouble Louis would probably get in if someone had noticed him giving out extra portions without permission. Harry’s been going to St. Mary’s for months now and he has never seen anyone do something like that. He wonders what made Louis feel so charitable, but mostly how he knew that chocolate cake is his absolute favorite dessert in the whole world. Maybe it was just a lucky guess.

 

“That’s good. I’m glad things are going well. Want me to fill up your bottle while the shop’s slow?” Harry nods, taking Niall up on his generous offer. Niall fills his bottle with water and then hands it back to him along with two croissants, a scone, and a blueberry muffin from the pastry display. Harry raises his eyebrows at the amount of food that Niall just shoved across the counter at no cost. “They had been sitting out too long. My manager would’ve made me toss them soon anyway,” Niall lies.

 

Ordinarily, Harry has no problem accepting food, especially if he really needs it, but today he has plenty. “Thank you, Ni, but that’s too much. I can’t,” Harry says. He attempts to give the food back but Niall won’t take it.

 

“Harry, please. You’re doing me a favor, okay? Just take it,” he says low enough that the couple still sitting there and his co-worker who’s still engrossed in his phone can’t hear.

 

Eventually, Niall wears him down with his firm stare and Harry feels compelled to do as he says. Harry sighs and accepts Niall’s charity, hoping that his friend doesn’t get himself into trouble one of these days for trying to help him. The last thing Harry needs is to fuck up someone else’s life too.

 

“Thank you,” Harry whispers to his friend who has been nothing but good to him since the day that they met. Harry honestly doesn’t know what he’d do without him.

 

The store gets a lot busier during the next few minutes with a new wave of customers coming in. There’s only one other person besides Niall working, so Harry dismisses himself to allow him to do his job without any interruptions. Niall is busy making an order when Harry sneaks some money onto the counter near the register on his way out. It’s not nearly enough to cover the cost of the things Niall gave him, but it makes Harry feel a bit better about Niall essentially stealing for him. Niall looks up from where he’s working when Harry reaches the door and tells him to stay safe. Harry promises to do so with a single nod before walking out onto the pavement.

 

It’s still relatively early and Harry doesn’t have anything else that he needs to do at the moment so he starts walking in the direction that he came.

 

During the day, it’s easier to blend in with everyone else walking around or families out and about just enjoying the city. There are lots of nice parks and garden spaces that Harry can often go to without being a bother if he’s quiet and stays out of the way. Most people don’t care that he’s there as long as he keeps to himself, so he spends a lot of his time reading in the grass and breathing in the fresh flowers.

 

He hasn’t been able to do much of that lately due to the changing weather, but he still likes to sit on the benches or the edge of the fountains to observe other people as they go throughout their day. Daytime is full of simple ways like that to keep himself occupied. There are dozens of public spaces and literally thousands of abandoned books to keep Harry busy, but nighttime is a different story.

 

The dark is hard for him to get through. He can’t stay in one place for very long after the sun sets. Most places in the city won’t allow him to. People think sleeping outdoors in a big city sounds easy, but Harry’s been asked to leave deserted streets and alleyways beside of fancy buildings more times than he can count. He’s even been told that he could be arrested for loitering when all he’s doing is resting his feet for a few minutes after a long night of walking, so unless it’s a familiar, public space, Harry tries to keep moving.

 

It’s difficult finding a safe place to go when nobody wants him around. That’s why he loves and appreciates his friend Liam so much. Harry never feels like he’s intruding with him.

 

Harry met Liam by accident almost three months ago. He had sat down on a curb one night in an attempt to give his back a break from the hours of walking he’d racked up looking for somewhere to stay. A security guard from the large hotel he’d sat down in front of told him to leave and luckily for Harry, Liam was the concierge at the front desk that night and heard the commotion. He left his post to follow Harry down the street once the guard left, calling out desperately for him to wait up. Harry sped up immediately thinking he was about to be yelled at some more, but Liam jogged to catch up to him and placed a light hand on his shoulder. He apologized for the guard’s harshness and offered to let him inside for a bit to rest on a small sofa at the back of the lobby area where guests weren’t allowed after midnight. Maybe it was something about Liam’s kind eyes or the fact that his apology was so genuine that made Harry feel as though he could trust him, but he accepted Liam’s offer without a second thought. Harry sighed as soon as he sat down, his spine cushioned by the fluffy backrest of the sofa. He hadn’t meant to fall asleep a few minutes after that. He didn’t even realize that he’d closed his eyes until Liam gently shook him awake the next morning and regretfully informed him that his shift was over.

 

Harry hadn’t realized it at the time, but he’d met one of the best people in the entire city that night. Harry has only slept on that hotel sofa a few times; only when he can’t find anywhere else to go and he knows Liam is working. It’s Saturday, so Liam won’t be working the night shift at the hotel tonight. It’s still pretty early, but Harry knows that he’s there for the day shift so he decides to stop by to say a quick hello to his friend.

 

Liam smiles when he spots him coming through the large glass doors of the lobby. “Haz! How are you, mate?” he asks when he’s close enough. Liam stands and stretches over the top of the desk to give him a quick hug.

 

“I’m good. Just came in to see how you are,” Harry smiles back at him. “Homework?” Harry asks, taking in the familiar sea of math text books that usually accompany Liam to work. Harry has asked him about a hundred times what it is that he’s studying so hard to become and Liam’s answer seems to change just as often. He wants to be an accountant one day and then a market researcher the next. All Liam really knows for now is that he likes numbers and that he’s good with them, so he could potentially have any job that he wants after he gets his second degree. Harry knows he’ll make a great… _something_ one day.

 

“I have a project due on Monday. Statistics,” he mumbles. “I _hate_ statistics.”

 

Harry rolls his eyes at the way Liam drops his pencil with a great sigh.

 

“Liar. You and your big brain love statistics. You’re probably just tired from working all day.”

 

“Yeah, you’re right. My brain is quite large,” he grins.

 

“That would explain your abnormally sized head. Thanks for clearing that up, mate.”

 

Liam laughs at his joke and then closes his books altogether to talk to him. “So, what have you been up to?”

 

“Nothing much,” Harry shrugs.

 

“Have you been alright? Like, at night and stuff?” Liam’s eyes grow concerned with his new line of questioning. It makes Harry glad to know that he has so many people who care about him and his wellbeing.

 

“Yeah, Li. I’ve been good. I’ve had a pretty good week so far,” he says.

 

Liam nods but the worry lines etched into his forehead remain there. “I’m sorry I won’t be working tonight. I wish I were.”

 

Liam has done so much for Harry these past few months. He has absolutely nothing to feel sorry about. “Hey. Don’t worry about me, Li. I’m going to be fine.”

 

“I know,” Liam sighs, “But it’s supposed to be cold tonight. I just want you to be safe.”

 

“And I will be,” Harry promises. “I’ll be so safe. The _safest_ ,” he grins.

 

Liam fondly rolls his eyes at him. “Well, sorry I can’t offer you the sofa tonight, and I’d invite you over to mine for a while if I thought you’d actually say _yes_ ,” Liam says with a hopeful lilt in his voice. It falls when Harry politely declines as always, causing Liam to sigh dejectedly. Liam has enough to worry about with school and his girlfriend. Harry crashing at his place is the last thing he needs. “Figured as much,” Liam mutters, grumbling something about Harry just being stubborn and how his girlfriend wouldn’t care one bit about him coming to the flat. “Is there something else I can do for you? Something you need?” he asks in a final attempt to help.

 

Thankfully, it’s one of those rare times when Harry has everything that he needs to be alright for a while. Nothing immediately comes to mind, but his gaze falls across the desk phone lying next to one of Liam’s books and a mixture of guilt and longing tugs at his heart.

 

“Um, would you mind if I use the phone again? I’ll be quick,” Harry tells him.

 

Liam frowns, clearly offended by Harry’s promise. “Haz, I’ve told you a million times. You can use this phone whenever you want. Take your time,” Liam says as he hands it to him. “I’m, uh, gonna go to the office for something. I’ll be back in a minute.”

 

Harry nods and watches as Liam gets up to go pretend to be busy so Harry can have some kind of illusion of privacy.

 

He waits until Liam is completely gone before picking up the phone to dial a number that’s so familiar that Harry could probably do it in his sleep. It rings a few times before someone picks up.

 

“Harry!” his big sister shrieks, so excited to have the hotel’s number show up on her phone. “I haven’t heard from you in weeks you tosser,” she accuses him. She must forgive him immediately because her voice turns softer. “Oh, Haz, I miss you. How are you? How is everything? Are you still doing alright?”

 

“Er- Which question do you want me to answer first, Gems? You kind of threw them all at me at once,” Harry laughs.

 

“That means that you have to answer them all at once since you haven’t so much as picked up the phone in ages. I want to hear all about- _Yeah, that’s fine. Okay. I’m talking to my brother. Okay, love you too. See you when you get back_ ,” Gemma says to someone. Probably her husband. Harry grins, happy that she and David are still doing okay. At least someone in their family can make things work and has their shit figured out. “That was David. He’s running out for bit, but he says hello,” Gemma happily informs him.

 

“And how is David?” Harry asks.

 

Gemma scoffs at his question. “This is _David_ we’re talking about. The man also known as the most laid back, happy person in the entire world. He’s great. Quit stalling. Tell me about _you_ ,” She demands.

 

Harry’s smile falters as he clears his throat. He loves talking to his sister more than anything, but the lies that come with it are always hard. “I’m good, Gems. I’ve been doing great.”

 

“ _Wow_. Eloquent as ever,” she mutters and Harry can practically see her rolling her eyes like she always does. “Give me details, little bro like how’s your job? Are you still liking it even though dickhead works there too?”

 

Harry clears his throat again. “Yeah. Work is- it’s great. I hardly even see Aiden since the place is so big, so it’s good.” The lie rolls right off of his tongue leaving tiny thorns drenched in shame in it’s wake. Harry hasn’t worked at the communications office in six months; not since the night Aiden broke up with him.

 

“Well, thank God for that,” she says, sounding truly relieved that Harry doesn’t have to see him. “And I see you’re still at the hotel. Are you still looking for a place of your own or are you thinking about staying there a bit longer?”

 

“Um…I’m still looking.” _Waiting_ is more like it, but his name is so far down on the list for housing that he isn’t holding his breath. “I’m still just trying to figure stuff out with work and things like that, but I’m gonna decide on a place soon and move.”

 

His big sister seems satisfied with that answer with the way she hums into the receiver. “And you’re still sure you don’t need anything, Haz? You know that you just have to say the word and I’ll be right there. If you need money or- or even for me to come down there and kick Aiden in the balls…” she laughs, “You know you can always call me, just like I know you’ll always be there for me. Mum would want it that way. She would want us to be able to count on each other.”

 

Harry closes his eyes, knowing that his sister is right.

 

He often wonders what his mother would think if she were here to see him now. He knows she’d be upset with him; angry for not turning to Gemma as soon as he needed help, but she’d be even more upset if he ruined Gemma’s life with his truckload of burdens. He’s thought about telling his sister that Adien not only broke up with him, but fired him, and threw him out of the house as well. It took a while for Harry to even realize just how far he’d fallen at first, but the reality of his situation quickly caught up with him when he sold his phone and spent the last bit of cash in his pocket on a sandwich after starving for two days.

 

“Mum would be so proud of you for not letting that idiot get to you; for being so strong,” Gemma says. She thinks Harry’s life is complicated because of an ex-boyfriend who dumped him. Harry glances down at his faded clothes and smudged hands. Gemma has no idea how much deeper it goes.

 

Harry can feel hot tears prickling at the back of his throat just when Liam returns from whatever task he made up for himself in the office. Gemma is on a roll, reminiscing on good times spent with their mother before she got sick, but she doesn’t get to say much before Harry interrupts her.

 

“Gems. I- I’m sorry to cut you off, but I’ve actually got to go.”

 

Liam frowns and gestures with his hands for Harry to take as long as he needs, but Harry declines his offer.

 

“Oh. Right now?” she sighs sadly. “Fine. Alright. I know you’re a busy bee,” she teases.

 

Liam would probably allow Harry to stay on the phone with his sister through his entire shift if he wanted, and Harry would _love_ to do that, but talking to her is painful and it reminds him of too much. He calls Gemma whenever he gets the chance to, but he always hangs up feeling exhausted from the lies and lonelier than he ever thought possible. 

 

“Yeah, I have to go. I’m sorry,” Harry lies again. “But, I’m glad I got to talk to you. I miss you.”

 

“I miss you too,” Gemma says. “That’s why you should get your arse on a train and come visit, or at least let me come visit you,” she scolds, but there’s no heat to it. She just wants to see her little brother, but Harry can’t allow her to see him like this. He just can’t.

 

“I promise to let you come visit as soon as I’m in a place of my own. You can come stay a while and bug the hell out me just like when we were kids,” Harry says, smiling when Gemma laughs and swears she will.

 

“Bye. I love you, Haz. Call me again soon? Don’t wait so long next time.”

 

“Okay. I won’t. I love you too. Bye,” Harry says just before hanging up.

 

Liam is hard at work with his textbooks pretending not to hear anything going on around him when he smiles up at Harry.

 

“All done?”

 

“Yeah. Thanks for letting me do that, Li. Really.”

 

“Of course, Harry. Don’t thank me. I’m happy to let you talk to your sister,” Liam assures him. His eyes turn a bit sad after a heavy pause. “Um, I know what you said before, but…if she calls looking for you?”

 

“Just tell her I’m not here or at work. Same as always.”

 

Liam looks like he wants to say something. He has tried pushing Harry to tell his sister what’s really going on but he never gets far with the discussion. He seems to have learned his lesson now though, nodding once in silent agreement to do as Harry asked.

 

Liam hugs him goodbye a few minutes later when Harry decides to leave him alone so he can work and study. He holds Harry tight to his chest like always and tells him to stay safe. Harry promises to do just that before waving him goodbye and setting off on foot down the street with no destination in mind.

 

Harry walks until his feet and back ache from being upright for so long. He goes to a few of his favorite places to camp out, but he has no luck finding an empty place to get some sleep. Vacated buildings are always an option that he has but never uses. One, because even the most run-down and dilapidated spaces have already been claimed by people who got there first, and second, because those types of places tend to attract anyone in the city who needs a fix, and Harry knows that a place littered with old needles and plastic baggies isn’t somewhere that he needs to frequent.

 

He ends up at his last resort; one of the bridges downtown that attracts a large crowd each night because of its thick columns and lack of police officers forcing people to leave.

 

It’s quiet for the most part tonight with only a few people talking with one another and the sounds of the soft waves brushing against the concrete. Harry takes off his backpack for the first time in hours and takes out the blanket he keeps tucked inside. He lays his head on top of his bag like a pillow, careful not to disturb its other contents and pulls his thin blanket up over his shoulders. He’s hungry again, but he doesn’t dare take out any of his food, afraid that someone might see and decide that they need it more. It wouldn’t be the first time that it’s happened.

 

It’s so much cooler tonight than it has been. Harry’s wearing a coat, a knit hat, and a thick pair of socks on his feet, but the chill still manages to creep in. He bundles himself up as tightly as possible, wondering how he’s going to feel a month from now, two months from now when it’s close to freezing. He’ll have to get more layers that’s for sure. He could probably find a thicker blanket too if he keeps his eyes open.

 

He lies there in silence long enough for his mind to drift from thoughts of the cold hard concrete beneath him, to thoughts of his sister and their conversation from earlier that still has his throat feeling tight.

 

Harry wonders if his mother really would be proud of him even if he isn’t living the life that she wanted for him. She had told him and Gemma that she was proud of them right before she died. When Aiden was there by his side and they had both just accepted jobs from his father’s company. That was back when she had reason to be proud of him. Now, Harry’s biggest achievement is getting a free meal and an extra slice of cake. He’s alive though. He has enough food and water on most days, and he’s gotten pretty smart about moving through the city unnoticed. It’s not the grand life that he once imagined for himself, living in one of the huge penthouse flats currently lit up at the top of the glass buildings in the distance, but it’s the best he can do for right now. He takes comfort in that as he drifts off, hoping that wherever his mother is, she knows that he loves her; she knows that he misses her, and most of all that she knows he’s trying.


	2. Chapter 2

November

 

 

It’s been exactly one month since Louis started spending his Saturday mornings and afternoons at St. Mary’s. The church has become such an essential part of his weekly routine that Zayn no longer whines when he wants Louis to stay out until three a.m. on Friday nights and Louis leaves around midnight so he can go home and be semi well rested for the next day.

 

He has always liked working with charities. He likes giving back to a city that has given him so much and also feeling like he’s doing something good, but he’s never felt quite as needed or helpful as he does with this particular program.

 

He’s become so familiar with the people he helps serve each weekend that everyone knows him. They laugh and joke with him like he’s an old mate and it makes Louis feel good earning their trust and respect. Even his favorite patron (although he knows he’s technically not supposed to have favorites) Harry, has warmed to him over the weeks. He greets Louis with a microscopic grin these days like he’s trying to let Louis in, but he’s not quite there yet, and that’s perfectly okay with Louis. He’s fine with waiting.

 

Louis can’t explain why, but he feels most drawn to Harry; defensive and protective of him somehow even though he has no right to be. He finds himself doing small things for Harry that he wouldn’t even think to do for anyone else. Like a week ago when he was out shopping with Zayn and saw a green knitted hat that for some reason he couldn’t walk out of the clothing shop without because it was the exact color of Harry’s eyes and the one that he usually wears is getting thin. Or, a few days ago when he was searching through his closet for something and found a coat that he bought but had never actually worn. Louis tucked it inside of a large backpack along with some long sleeved shirts that had been collecting dust and sat it beside of Harry’s regular seat at St. Mary’s that Saturday.

 

Louis never told Harry that he was the mysterious benefactor giving him things, but somehow Harry figured it out anyways. He always wears this grateful little grin whenever he sees something from Louis next to his seat. He eats and then comes back to the dessert table with his extra slice of chocolate cake tucked away in his backpack to thank him.

 

He figures things will go about the same today as he watches the clock, knowing Harry is due to slip through the door at any moment.

 

It’s snowing today. It’s the first snow of the season and the large flakes have been steadily coating the streets for hours. At one point, it had been coming down so hard that Marianne expressed her concern for people not being able to make it to the church. There are less people here today than usual, but the place is still pretty full. Some familiar key faces are definitely missing from the crowd; Louis just hopes Harry’s won’t be one of them. Louis found a pair of thick gloves for him which are currently sitting in a small bag next to Harry’s seat. He’d hate for Harry to not receive them, especially on the day that he probably needs them the most.

 

Time ticks on and after a while Louis starts to fear that Harry won’t show. There’s hardly even twenty minutes left for today’s lunch when Harry steps through the door with a gust of wind and a flurry of snowflakes trailing in behind him.

 

Harry enters the room and uncrosses his arms from around his chest to grab a plate. He quickly makes his way around the L to come and stand in front of Louis’ table wearing the clothes that Louis gave him, but shivering nonetheless from his walk through the storm. He’s bundled up as best as possible, but it’s so cold out that his entire face is pink from it. The snow on his shoulders is starting to melt in the warmth of the room, but the heat pumping from the vents of the church doesn’t seem to be having the same effect on Harry’s hands, all red and cracked where he’s white knuckling his plate in his grip.

 

He looks so cold that Louis’ immediate instinct is to cover him up, but the light emanating from his lush eyes helps put Louis’ worries to rest, as all the warmth in the room seems to have gathered right there within his gaze.

 

“Hi, Louis.”

 

“Hey,” Louis smiles at him. “I thought maybe you wouldn’t make it today,” he admits, happy to know that Harry’s here with him and safe rather than out in the snow trying to find someplace to keep warm with no food.

 

“Yeah, me too. I was across the city when the snow started this morning. It took me a lot longer to get here than I expected.”

 

“Well, I’m glad you made it. This place wouldn’t be the same without you. And plus, someone has to eat all of this bloody cake,” Louis laughs. He puts up such a fight to serve chocolate cake each week that Marianne has relinquished control of the dessert menu and has given the responsibility to him. The program always serves whatever dessert items have been donated to the program for the week, but Louis makes sure that list includes Harry’s favorite, even on days when he has to go out and buy the cake mix and frosting himself.

 

“You know, they never used to serve chocolate cake this often. I wonder what’s going on there?” Harry muses with a knowing grin.

 

Louis simply shrugs like he has no idea who the person was who spent his Friday night at a nightclub Googling chocolate cake tips and recipes. “Hmm. I don’t know. I guess Marianne likes keeping the people happy,” Louis shrugs again.

 

“Yeah,” Harry agrees, “Someone here sure does,” he says with eyes full of silent appreciation aimed right at Louis.

 

Louis clears his throat when he feels his cheeks warming up for some reason that he can’t really explain. He shakes it off and cuts two very generous slices of cake for Harry and then watches as he slowly makes his way to his usual spot at the empty table so as not to spill his bowl of soup. Louis stares, but only long enough for Harry to find his new gloves, enjoying the way his lips tug up when he pulls them out of the little bag and sees that they match his new hat. They lock eyes across the room and Harry gives him a quick nod of thanks that warms Louis’ cheeks all over again. He has no clue what the hell that’s about lately, but he drops Harry’s gaze immediately before he can notice.

 

The weather hasn’t changed much, and from what Louis can see going on outside the windows and hear being reported from the t.v. playing in the kitchen, the snow isn’t letting up anytime soon. Marianne comes through a bit later to inform everyone that cleanup is going to start early so everyone can leave and get home safely before the storm gets any worse. Marianne’s words spark the room into action. Volunteers hurry to do as she asked, while their guests make their way back out onto the cold streets. The room clears pretty quickly, and soon, the only person left in the dining area is Harry.

 

Louis watches as he stands from his seat and digs through his backpack to find the gloves that Louis just gave him. He slides them onto his weathered hands before pushing his chair under and heading towards the door. It’s dark out; much darker than it would be ordinarily at this time, but the clouds above are heavy and thick with ice, painting the city in a hue of premature night. Harry pauses with one gloved hand on the door, savoring the sweet heat of the room for a few seconds more before tugging his hat to better cover his ears and walking out onto the street.

 

Each week that Harry comes to St. Mary’s Louis has no idea where he had to come from to get there. He feels Harry’s absence like air sucked from his lungs and he realizes in that moment that he has no idea where Harry goes when he leaves either. Harry doesn’t have any place to call a home. More than likely, he doesn’t even have a place to keep him out of the cold. He could be walking to the nearest building with awning, or he could be heading for some abandoned alleyway like Zayn said, but no matter where Harry finds shelter for the night, he’s going to be freezing and that realization makes panic fan through his chest.

 

He moves quickly, running to the kitchen area to grab his coat and explain to Marianne that he can’t finish cleanup today because he has to rush out. He tears out of the church, stopping as soon as he’s outside because he didn’t pay attention to which way Harry went when he left. Louis peers both ways through the falling snow and feels his pulse quicken when he makes out the hazy silhouette of Harry’s coat and backpack moving further and further into the storm.

 

Louis’ feet carry him quickly as he takes off after him, the heavy snow lashing at his exposed face. “HARRY!” Louis calls in vain, still too far away for Harry to hear him over the wind and traffic filled with people trying to get home.

 

He pushes himself to move faster until he’s right at his heels. Louis reaches out for Harry’s arm when he’s close enough and Harry turns to him with wide eyes. Louis only meant to get Harry’s attention, however he looks so frightened from his touch that Louis immediately let’s go of him.

 

“I- I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.”

 

Harry lets out a long breath. The alarm in his eyes dissipates once he realizes it’s just Louis.

 

“It’s okay. I just didn’t realize anyone was behind me,” he explains. He sniffs from the cold and readjusts his backpack on his shoulders with a crease growing between his eyebrows. “Um, did I forget something at the church?”

 

Louis flounders for what to say to him because he didn’t really formulate a plan for this moment. He saw Harry walking away and his heart just couldn’t allow it. The snow whips across their faces with the wind as Louis thinks of what to say. He doesn’t know where to go from here or even where to begin, but he can’t let Harry sleep out here tonight; not in this.

 

“I live just a few minutes that way,” Louis says, vaguely pointing towards the tall skyscraper that houses his flat. “I don’t know if you’d want to, but we could ride over together if you’d like somewhere warm to stay for a while. I don’t live far so I don’t have my car with me, but we can get a cab…If- if you want to, that is,” he reiterates, stumbling all over his words from nerves.

 

They stand there in silence as Harry’s gaze falls from Louis’ eyes to the blanket of white beneath his feet. “Thank you. That’s really kind of you, Louis. But, I can’t.”

 

“Oh,” Louis whispers, feeling Harry’s quiet rejection like a punch to the throat. He tries not to let it show on his face when he asks why not. His question causes Harry to awkwardly shuffle his weight. He blinks down at his shoes hidden in the snow and it reminds Louis of the way he used to avoid Louis’ smile when he’d greet him with a bright hello; tentative like he _wants_ to accept it, but doesn’t quite know if he should.

 

“Because, Louis. You’ve done so much for me already; more than you should. I can’t take advantage of you and your home. I’ll be fine. It’s just a little snow," Harry says as he licks his cracked lips and wipes frozen flakes away from his reddened face. It may be just a little snow, but it’s fucking freezing out here and Louis refuses to leave him behind.

 

“Do you trust me, Harry?” Louis’ question is random, he knows that, but it’s necessary too. Harry lives in a world where people wish him more harm than good. Harry opens his mouth to answer a few times but nothing comes out. In the end he simply nods his head in silent confirmation. “Good,” Louis grins, “Because I want you to be able to. I know you think I’m crazy or weird for giving you clothes and shoving cake in your face every week, but I promise I only do it because I want to help. I just- If something happened to you out here... if I didn’t at least try to offer you a place to stay, I’d never forgive myself. I have plenty of room at my flat. I’d be honored to have you.”

 

He doesn’t know if Harry really trusts what he’s saying but he seems to believe that his concern is genuine. Harry looks up and observes the swirled sky for a moment, squinting as the harsh snow continues pelting his face. “Are you sure you don’t mind?” he asks, his expression a little less torn when he meets Louis’ gaze again.

 

“Not at all. Not one bit,” Louis tells him, hoping this is the end of their negotiation. Louis waits with bated breath until Harry finally whispers a quiet, ‘ _Okay_.’

 

“Yeah? You’re sure?” Louis checks.

 

“I’m sure,” he nods, “But, um…I don’t really have money for a cab,” he reveals with downcast eyes. “Is- Is that alright?”

 

Louis is so happy to hear him say yes, that he almost laughs at Harry’s concern for not being able to split the cab fare. “Oh my God. I’m such an idiot,” Louis says, squeezing his eyes shut. “I should’ve told you first thing that I’ve got the cab. Harry, that’s completely fine. That’s actually perfect. You don’t have to pay for anything at all. I don’t want you to,” Louis assures him. “All I want is you safe and out of this bloody weather,” he admits.

 

Harry still looks guilty for a few seconds for not being able to pay, but eventually he nods his consent.

 

“Great!” Louis says, not even giving Harry the opportunity to change his mind as he raises his arm to hail a cab. Most are already in use, carrying people looking to get out the snow as well, but thankfully an empty one pulls over to let them in. “After you,” Louis says as he holds the door open for Harry. He takes off his backpack and slides in, settling down next to the window on the opposite side.

 

Louis climbs in after him and rattles his address off to the driver.

 

“You live in Milton Court? Near The Heron?” Harry asks.

 

Louis turns to face his companion in the backseat and notices his expression is slightly intrigued. It turns to an expression of awe when Louis nods and tells him that he actually lives _in_ The Heron. Louis doesn’t mention the fact that he lives three flats down from the penthouse. Harry seems uncomfortable enough as it is.

 

“…Is everything okay?” Louis checks, not sure if it’s the location of his home or how much it costs that has Harry nervously looking down at himself.

 

“Louis,” he sighs after picking at the dirt beneath his nails. “I appreciate what you’re trying to do for me, but you really don’t have to do this. I’ll be fine on my own,” he tries, but Louis doesn’t let him second guess himself for a one second when he reaches for Harry’s hand where it’s clutching his backpack to his chest.

 

“Harry, you’re welcome in my home anytime whether I live at the top of The Heron or in a two by two cardboard box on the side of the street.”

 

When Harry meets his eyes again he looks less embarrassed, a small grin pulling at the corner of his mouth when Louis squeezes his hand.

 

“You could never live inside of a two by two box. You wouldn’t fit,” he chuckles to himself.

 

“Yeah, probably not,” Louis smiles back at him, “But you’d still be welcome anyway.”

 

*

The ride only takes a few minutes just as Louis promised, and when the doorman welcomes them inside Louis tries not to check behind him every five seconds to make sure Harry is still there. They take the lift up to the thirty-third floor and Louis can practically hear Harry chanting in his mind that he shouldn’t be here. It makes Louis sad, because he feels there’s no other place that Harry should be.

 

“Are you alright?” Louis asks when the lift stops and spits them out near his door. He digs in his back pocket for his keys and the sound alerts a certain floppy-eared nuisance of his arrival home. Harry raises an eyebrow when he hears Duke’s signature scuffling against the door as he tries to paw it open. “Er- Did I mention that I have a pet?” he laughs nervously.

 

The door swings open when Louis gets it unlocked and Duke celebrates like he hasn’t seen Louis in years, even though he’s only been alone for a few hours.

 

“I’m sorry he’s like this,” Louis apologizes as Duke pounces all over his and Harry’s feet to welcome them. “I tried sending him to obedience classes once.” Which was a complete and utter waste as far as Louis’ concerned. Duke can’t focus long enough to do anything let alone learn to sit or lie down. Oddly enough, he seems pretty fixated by Harry at the moment, quietly lying down on his belly when Harry crouches down to scratch him behind the ears.

 

Louis watches in amazement as his dog remains quiet for longer than two minutes without being either asleep or dead.

 

“Harry. I’ve _never_ seen him this calm. He usually never stops moving,” Louis whispers, afraid that if he speaks any louder he’ll break the spell.

 

Duke leans into Harry’s touch so much that he rolls over onto his side, his tail thumping a steady rhythm against the hardwood. “He’s cute. Very sweet,” Harry grins.

 

“He’s not,” Louis rolls his eyes, watching as Duke rolls over onto his back now for Harry to rub his belly. His ears are splayed out on the floor and his little legs are bent close to his body and Louis has to admit that he is pretty fucking cute. Harry removes his hand when Louis gives in and stoops down to pet him as well.

 

Duke’s moment of tranquility lasts for exactly that long before he’s flipping over onto his paws again to give Louis’ chin and mouth an enthusiastic licking. Louis gags and wipes at his face, watching as Duke resumes his regular routine of barking his head off in excitement as he runs through every room of the flat.

 

“He’s just happy to see you,” Harry laughs.

 

“He’s ridiculous is what he is. He’s lucky I’m not a cat person,” Louis mutters, knowing full well in his heart that he wouldn’t trade Duke for anything, even if he is the world’s slobbery and worst alarm clock ever.

 

They both stand when Duke is gone and Louis begins shedding his outer layers. He already got his coat on the hangar when he realizes Harry isn’t moving to do the same thing. Instead he’s standing there gawking at the size of the entryway.

 

“Shit. I’m sorry, Harry. Here, let me take your things.” Harry’s grip protectively tightens around the straps of his back pack before he slides it off his shoulders. He takes off his coat and the other winter clothing he has and allows Louis to hang them up to dry. Louis leads the way from the entryway to the living room and Harry looks even more impressed by what he sees.

 

“You live here alone?” he asks in amazement as he takes in the open room and tall ceilings.

 

“Yep,” Louis shrugs. “It’s just me. Well, and Duke, of course,” he grins listening to the sound of one of Duke’s toys squeaking in complete agony from somewhere in the flat. “Have a seat, please.” Louis says, already settling down on one of the sofa cushions.  “Make yourself comfortable.”

 

Harry glances at the cream-colored sofa in front of him and then down at his clothes. “Er- I don’t think I should.”

 

“Nonsense.” Louis rolls his eyes at him and the couch that has to be cleaned once a month because Louis is a child who insisted on having crisp décor without the first clue of how to maintain it. “Trust me, Duke and I have done unspeakable things to every piece of furniture in this flat. I promise you won’t hurt it.”

 

Harry grins a little at that. He seems more at ease when Louis points out the hidden stains and smudges along the upholstery, but he still looks reluctant to sit down.

 

“Would it make you feel better to have a change of clothes?” Harry doesn’t say yes, but his eyes display the tiniest flicker of interest causing Louis to smile and steamroll through the other ideas he has. “There’s tons of clothes here that haven’t even been worn. You can take whatever you want from any of the closets. Seriously, I don’t mind. I want you to have them. Ooh. And my bathroom. You can use it too. You can shower or run a bubble bath. Those are _really_ nice and warm if you want to relax. And, are you hungry? I can heat up something for you or try ordering something in, though it may take a while with the snow. I can try the Chinese place around the corner to see if they’ll brave the storm for us. What do you like? I have menus in the kitchen.”

 

Harry blinks at him looking more than a bit overwhelmed and Louis realizes that he said all of that in under a minute. He goes to amend his list of suggestions so that it sounds less intimidating, but decides against it. Knowing him, he’d just offer Harry even more shit that he probably doesn’t even want right now.

 

“Um… maybe a shower if you don’t mind?” Harry says after a little while.

 

Louis cheers internally because the boy actually _asked_ for something and only looks a little bit guilty about it.

 

“Yeah, Harry. Of course. Anything you want,” Louis says as he hops up from the sofa to lead the way, heading straight for the master bath where the floors are heated and there’s twice as much space as the smaller ones next to the guestrooms.

 

Louis searches through the cabinets for towels and doesn’t stop digging until he finds the extra fluffy ones that his mother bought him as a gift. He shows Harry where everything is; the soap, shampoo, deodorant, toothpaste, a brand new toothbrush, a new razor, and a bottle of aftershave too in case he’s into that. He shows him how to work the shower head and how to adjust the temperature for the floors even though he claims his feet feel fine.

 

Louis proudly steps back when he’s sure he’s provided Harry with everything he could possibly need in the next half hour.

 

“Shit. I forgot you need clothes for _after_ your shower,” Louis says mostly to himself because apparently he expected for Harry to walk around naked through his flat. “Stay here. I’ll be right back,” he says, already on his way to find something big enough to fit his guest when he doubles back. “Or- Or do you want to come pick something out?”

 

“Whatever you choose is fine. I’m just borrowing for the time being,” Harry assures him, and with that, Louis takes off to go raid his bedroom for a warm outfit that Harry can have. Fuck borrowing.

 

Louis has so many clothes. He’s got three closets full and he doesn’t wear half of them. He has a collection of comfortable hoodies, worn-in jeans, and soft shirts that are his go-to articles of clothing along with a custom suit that Zayn made him buy for business purposes because _‘just because we play games for a living, doesn’t mean we have to dress like it, Lou_.’ Beside those few things, the rest of his wardrobe is really just filler. He takes his time and finds a pair of thick joggers that he usually has to roll up to keep from walking on and large sweatshirt he ‘ _borrowed_ ’ from Zayn back when they were in uni.

 

“Okay, I got clothes. Er- They should fit but if they don’t just let me know and I’ll get you something else,” Louis announces when he gets back to the bathroom. He stops just in the doorway when he sees that Harry’s back is turned towards him, his fingers gingerly gliding over the smooth marble of the counters.

 

Louis can feel the appreciation rolling off of him in waves when they lock eyes. The ‘thank you’ that he mutters is so quiet that Louis almost misses it.

 

“You’re more than welcome,” Louis says as he places the clothes on the counter nearest him. “So, I’m gonna get out of your hair now. You know…. give you some privacy. Um, stay in here as long as you’d like. I might be out with Duke whenever you finish up, but I won’t be gone long so feel free to do whatever you want. Eat, have a lie down, watch tv. Please, make yourself at h-home. Sorry,” Louis winces, only realizing after the fact that he maybe should’ve worded that a bit differently.

 

Luckily, Harry doesn’t seem to mind. He actually cracks a smile; a real, genuine smile when he zeroes in on the blush painting Louis’ cheeks. “It’s okay, Lou. I know what you meant. Thank you. I appreciate it.”

 

A nervous laugh escapes Louis, glad that he didn’t actually offend his guest. “I’m just- I’m gonna go. Enjoy your shower. Let me know if you need anything,” Louis says as he backs out of the room and closes the door behind him.

 

Louis is anxious as he paces through his flat wondering if Harry’s alright in there or if he needs anything and is too shy to ask. And then he remembers that Harry is an adult who doesn’t need a baby sitter, so he forces himself to do something else besides worry about a grown man having a bath.

 

Duke is delighted when Louis hunts him down to go for a walk out in the storm. Louis’ relieved when they get outside to see that the snow is actually slowing down. A steady pattern of flakes is still falling from the clouds and coating the earth, but they’re much smaller than they were before and the sky looks a lot less threating.

 

Louis calls out for Harry when he gets back inside, but doesn’t receive an immediate answer. He strains his ears and the sound of water still running in the bathroom lets him know that Harry’s still in there.

 

Louis’ mindless pacing commences, unsure of what else to do with himself as he waits. All he really knows is that his stomach is growling and that Harry’s will probably be growling later on if it isn’t doing so already. Food seems like a brilliant plan, so he dials up the Chinese place from around the corner and pretty much orders two of everything so that there’s enough and a greater likelihood for there to be something that Harry likes. His order takes a long time to put in and just as Louis’ hanging up he hears a door from the other side of the flat open and close. Duke isn’t capable of such a feat, so he knows it must be Harry. A few seconds later, the very man Louis was just thinking of pokes his head into the kitchen in search of him.

 

“You’re out,” Louis beams, noting how much more comfortable Harry looks just from a warm shower and a clean set of clothes. “How do you feel?” Louis asks, only now noticing the beautiful complexion of Harry’s pale skin now that there isn’t a layer of grime from the city covering it.

 

“I feel good,” he answers. “Mostly, I just feel _clean_ ,” Harry smiles to himself. His brow slightly furrows when Louis merely grins at him. “That was kind of a dumb answer, I know. But, I don’t really get to feel this way very often. It’s kind of nice.”

 

“No, Harry. It wasn’t dumb. I get it. You don’t have to explain anything to me.” Louis doesn’t know much about Harry besides what he and Marianne have told him. He has no clue as to how long Harry has been living on the streets, but Louis is sure that any amount of time sleeping in this dingy city would make a shower feel like heaven itself.  

 

“It stopped snowing,” Harry comments after a quick glance out the window.

 

“Yeah, thank God. It was slowing down when I took Duke for a walk earlier. I was starting to think it’d never stop,” Louis laughs.

 

“Yeah, me too,” Harry grins at him good-naturedly, before his eyes travel back to the still night outside the window. “I’ll just go get my stuff. Thanks for everything, Louis. Really,” he says, causing Louis’ heart to sink at a rather concerning rate.

 

“Wait. W-Where are you going?”

 

Harry blinks up in surprise and looks at Louis with a frown like he doesn’t understand why Louis would ask such a question.

 

“Uh… the storm is over, so I thought…”

 

“Oh,” he says letting his gaze slide to the floor instead of Harry’s eyes. “Do you want to leave?”

 

Harry seems taken aback by the audible disappointment in Louis’ voice. He stands there in silence for a beat before finally answering. “Well, no,” Harry whispers. “I don’t want to go, but I can’t just _stay_ here. You’ve been kind enough already, Louis. You shouldn’t have to keep coming to my rescue.”

 

“What if I want to?”

 

Harry’s brow furrows like Louis’ desire to help him doesn’t quite add up. He glances out of the window again, and Louis can tell by his expression that going back out there is the last thing he wants to do. Louis isn’t so fond of the idea either. Not when Harry sleeping outside is completely unnecessary and avoidable.

 

“And I’m not ‘rescuing’ you,” Louis continues when Harry still looks torn. “You aren’t a damsel, Harry. You’re my friend and I’m not letting you sleep out in the cold regardless of whether or not it’s snowing.” Harry’s eyes widen and Louis wonders if he’s really that surprised at Louis putting his foot down about this, but then Louis realizes that the word ‘friend’ is what resonated with him. Even with Louis’ declaration of friendship, Harry eyes still retain some uncertainty, so he plows on. “And besides us being mates, I just ordered a shitload of Chinese. Duke’s pretty greedy but I don’t think he can put much of a dent in your half of the mountain of food that’s coming,” he smirks.

 

Harry smiles at Louis’ joke, looking more accepting of the idea.

 

“Okay,” he relents.

 

“Okay, you’ll help me binge on Chinese or okay you’ll take the guestroom with the good sheets and the blackout curtains without a fuss?”

 

“Okay to both,” Harry grins with a fond roll of his eyes. “Thank you, Louis.”

 

“Don’t mention it,” Louis beams. “Now, I demand that you go relax. Chill out. Turn on the telly. Play one of the six million games in there or listen to some music or something. I’m gonna go feed Duke really quick and change clothes and then I’ll get us some plates for the feast. I order you to not lift a finger, _unless_ it’s to turn on the Xbox.”

 

“Alright. I promise to be useless and do nothing. I’m going to go _chill,_ ” Harry grins as he heads out of the kitchen.

 

“ _Good._ And for fuck’s sake, put your feet up on the bloody cushions. I _want_ you to get them dirty. Go wild,” Louis calls after him, knowing Harry will most likely sit on the floor before doing any of the above.

 

When Louis’ finished changing, giving Duke his dinner, and has located two of the largest dinner plates in his kitchen, he remembers that he didn’t order anything for them to drink.

 

“Hey, Harry? Would you prefer water or a beer? I also have wine if that’s what you-”

 

Louis stops in his tracks when he rounds the side of the sofa and realizes no one is listening to him. He told Harry to make himself comfortable a while ago, but Louis didn’t expect to find him here curled up on the cushions, fast asleep.

 

He’s breathing deeply already, his jaw slack and his lips slightly parted as if he’s been asleep for hours rather than just a few minutes. Louis remembers Harry telling him that he usually walks from the other side of town just to get to St. Mary’s each Saturday. He traveled all that way, and Louis’ willing to bet that he didn’t get much sleep the night before, wherever he ended up. He must be exhausted.

 

Louis tiptoes back to the kitchen and puts the plates away and then goes to the linen closet beside his room and pulls out the thickest blanket he owns. He drapes it over Harry’s curled frame, disappointed that he isn’t getting a good night’s sleep in the guestroom, but he looks so peaceful on the sofa that Louis doesn’t want to wake him.

 

The food comes a minute later and the short knocks on the door don’t even cause Harry to flinch as he snoozes on. Louis puts Harry’s half of the food in the fridge in the kitchen, and only takes a few bites of his own before going into the bathroom to collect Harry’s things and throw them into the wash. He thinks about grabbing his backpack as well to wash any other clothes he may have, but Louis decides against it, knowing how protective Harry is of his back pack and how invasive it’d be for Louis to go through his things, even if it is in the name of laundry.

 

Once Harry’s things are in the wash, Louis doesn’t know what to do with himself. It’s too early to go to bed, doing work-related things sounds worse than being stabbed, and if he answers any of Zayn’s sixteen messages, he’ll have to explain why he isn’t interested in going out tonight like he had originally promised.

 

Louis scoops up his dog and goes to his room to let Harry get some much needed rest. Harry is just in the next room and Louis knows he’s perfectly fine, but he still worries, hoping that he’s comfortable out there in the living room by himself. Louis goes to close the door when he’s tired enough to fall asleep, but something about shutting himself away seems so cold and detached. In the end, he leaves it halfway open, seeking comfort in the fact that for tonight, he doesn’t have to wonder if Harry is safe.

 

*

 

Louis wakes up to the still of Sunday morning and immediately finds it odd because he hasn’t had a peaceful morning of waking up on his own since he adopted Duke.

 

He sits up in bed and digs around for his phone, surprised when he finds it and sees that he slept in past ten o’clock. He hasn’t done that in months. He tiptoes out of his bedroom, growing more and more concerned with how fucking quiet it is inside of his flat when he neither sees nor hears movement from anyone. The small flutter of panic that had started in his stomach evaporates when he pokes his head into the living room and spots Harry still curled up on the sofa with Duke stretched out on his side on the floor next to him like some sort of short-legged guardian who couldn’t quite make it up onto the cushions on his own.

 

Duke pops his head up with his tail wagging at full speed when Louis quietly approaches to pet him.

 

“What are you doing way out here?” Louis whispers to him, taking a quick peek at Harry still fast asleep with an arm tucked beneath his head. His curls are silky where they’re splayed out around his neck and shoulders, his breaths so even and slow that Louis wouldn’t dream of disturbing him.

 

“Duke. You ready to go for a walk?” His dog who is usually jumping at the bit to go outside at the first hint of the word _walk_ takes his time getting to his paws. He lingers around the sofa a bit before reluctantly heading for the door like he’d prefer to stay right where he is beneath Harry. “Come on, you,” Louis encourages him. “He’ll still be here when you get back,” Louis chuckles, practically having to drag his dog out of the flat to go take a piss.

 

The two of them head for the tiny pet area across the street and Louis is no better than Duke was a few minutes ago as he glances up to the thirty-third floor of his building every few seconds as if he can see right past the metal and glass to the sleeping man in his living room who’s still enjoying what is probably his first decent night of sleep in ages. Louis knows that Harry will most likely still be asleep by the time he gets back upstairs. There’s no need for him and Duke to rush back, so Louis decides to further brave the icy streets for a quick coffee run to the shop a few blocks down instead.

 

When Louis returns to his flat half an hour later it’s with his usual order as well as an extra large coffee for Harry which ends up going in the fridge for later on because he’s yet to stir.

 

Silence isn’t something that Louis is used to persevering, especially inside of his flat where Duke, the king of noise and racket lives to torment him, so he occupies himself in his bedroom with random tv shows that he’s only half watching because the majority of his attention is on Harry and whether or not it’s normal for him to sleep so much at one time. The quiet doesn’t last for long though; not with the rapid, impatient knocking on his front door from some arsehole who is clearly trying to break it down.

 

Louis shoots up and out of bed so fast that he feels lightheaded as he sprints through his flat at top speed to answer it before Harry can be disturbed. The banging only gets louder and faster the longer it takes Louis to get there, and by the time he swings it open, it’s too late and Harry has already jolted awake, his eyes startled wide with alarm from being ripped out of unconsciousness.

 

Louis glances back at Harry with apologetic eyes before rounding on his best friend frowning at him in his doorway.

 

“Zayn, what the hell are you doing here? I didn’t even buzz you up.”

 

“I don’t need a buzzer. I’m here making sure you aren’t fucking dead,” he spits back. “Why haven’t you been answering any of my messages or my calls? I waited for you to show up last night and you never even texted back to say you weren’t coming.”

 

Louis scoffs, ready to defend himself and explain that his night took an unexpected turn that kept him busy until Zayn catches sight of something behind him that piques his interest.

 

“Who is that?” he asks with narrowed eyes. Louis turns to watch Harry freeze where he was just folding up the blanket Louis draped over him last night. Zayn’s quick eyes take inventory of Harry’s old backpack and tattered shoes resting in the entryway before flicking back to the man himself. “Who is that?” he asks again. “And- Is that my _sweatshirt_?”

 

“ _No_. _Yes_. Well…it _used_ to be,” Louis corrects before shaking his head because who the fuck cares whose sweatshirt it is? It belongs to Harry now.

 

Zayn is fuming at him in the doorway, although, about what Louis has no idea, and Harry looks so anxious and out of place being the center of attention that his entire face is flushed as he suddenly moves from the sofa to grab his things.

 

“Louis, I’m uh, I’m gonna go. Thank you so much. F-For everything. Really,” he stutters as he shoves his sockless feet inside of his shoes and grabs his coat from the hangar. He’s in such a rush to get out of there that he leaves his hat and pair of gloves behind as he carefully side-steps Zayn in the doorway. “I’ll give Louis your sweatshirt back on Saturday. I’m sorry,” he apologizes before rushing off to the lifts with downcast eyes.

 

“Now look what you did,” Louis huffs out in frustration as he sidesteps Zayn to go catch up with him.

 

“Wha- _Me?”_ Zayn squawks. “I didn’t do anything! It’s not like I told him to leave!” he argues from the doorway, but Louis pays him no mind as he runs down the corridor.

 

“Harry! Harry, wait,” he pleads. Harry turns to him with his finger already pressed to the button to take him down to the ground floor, but he doesn’t look any less determined to leave.

 

“Harry, I am _so_ sorry,” Louis says when he’s close enough. “Zayn, he- he’s an idiot and I know he sounded mad but he’s just upset with me and he didn’t mean to offend you. And, I know that’s not really an excuse for how rude he was, but you don’t have to leave, Harry. Please come back inside. I mean, you just woke up and you haven’t even eaten anything since lunch yesterday afternoon,” Louis points out. He’s got a fridge full of Chinese food for Harry to eat as well as a large coffee from this morning. His clothes are still in the dryer, he doesn’t have anything on his hands or his head to keep him warm, and his dog has only known Harry for roughly twelve hours and already loves him more than anybody, including Louis. He can’t leave yet.

 

Harry regretfully grins down at him and Louis can practically hear him declining his invitation to stay with the quiet, “Thank you so, so much, Louis,” that he whispers. He leans in and wraps Louis in an unexpected hug that only lasts a few seconds before the lift arrives and Harry steps inside.

 

Louis’ chest is tight watching Harry leave even though it has no right to be. The lift doors begin to shut but in a moment of desperation Louis sticks his hand in the middle to stop them from closing.

 

“You’re welcome here any time. Okay?” Louis says, hoping Harry knows that he has a place here whether he thinks he should or not. “I mean it, Harry. Day or night, rain or shine. You don’t even have to ask to come up. I’ll let all the staff know too just in case someone tries to say something. I can give you a key or give management special permission to let you in if I’m not here.”

 

Harry nods like he understands but his eyes display all the characteristics of someone merely agreeing because it’s what the other person wants to hear. Harry’s not going to come over when Louis’ not here. Hell, it was hard enough just getting Harry to stay overnight while he was home. He may as well have told Harry to walk on water. That’s about as much chance as Louis has of Harry actually listening to him.

 

“Okay, Louis. Thank you so much. I appreciate that.”

 

Louis sighs and drops his arm to let the doors close, but right when they’re about to, his conscience screams at him to hold Harry just a little longer. “Uh, do you have a phone by chance? Or- Or someone I can call just to make sure you’re alright? Do you have any family?” Louis can tell from the way Harry drops his gaze that he probably doesn’t have anyone. “Where will you go?”

 

Harry blinks down at his shoes the way he always does when he’s feeling embarrassed or self-conscious, and under normal circumstances Louis never asks questions that might make him uncomfortable, but Harry’s leaving without any way for Louis to check on him again until next Saturday, and that is simply unacceptable.

 

“I’m near Cannon Street most nights,” Harry says after a thick silence. “I go there when I can’t find somewhere better.” He glances up to meet Louis’ eyes again, checking to see if his answer is acceptable. The fact that Harry wanders the city at night looking for a place to sleep makes every piece of his heart ache, but Harry gave him a straight answer, so he’ll take it.

 

“Cannon Street. Okay. I’ll remember that,” Louis promises before finally letting the lift doors close with Harry tucked away inside.

 

When Louis gets back to his flat, he finds Zayn sitting on the sofa looking confused with Duke cradled in his arms. Louis closes his eyes when he shuts the door behind him and leans his weight against it to try and clear his mind but it’s useless. He can’t unsee a person. Especially one who at times seems so broken.

 

“Where’s he off to?” Zayn asks sounding incredibly sorry for having caused anyone any sort of pain.

 

Louis sighs as he makes his way to the living room and flops down in his arm chair with his head pounding just behind his eyes. “I have no idea.” The admission makes bile rise up in his throat. There’s snow on the ground and Harry is out there walking around in it with nowhere to go.

 

“Are you going to tell me who he was, or should I take a wild guess?” Zayn asks quietly.

 

“His name is Harry. I met him at St. Mary’s.”

 

“Yeah, I figured as much,” he says. “Louis, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to burst in here and scare him off. I didn’t even think I was being that loud and he just _bolted._ ”

 

It’s what he’s used to doing, Louis thinks sadly.

 

“I know you didn’t mean to scare him, Zayn. And he probably didn’t even mean to run out like that, but he’s been living on the streets for so long that he tries really hard to be invisible.”

 

“Well, obviously that isn’t really working out for him these days,” Zayn says. Being invisible isn’t working out for him at all actually because no matter how much Harry tries to hide, he forgets that Louis has seen him. He could never allow Harry to go back into the shadows. He’s been there too long as it is.

 

“God, I shouldn’t have just let him leave like that; so easily. I should’ve done something,” Louis laments.

 

“He’s an adult, Lou. You can’t make his decisions for him. If he wanted to leave then there’s nothing you could’ve done besides let him,” Zayn says in comfort, but Louis begs to differ. There has to be _something_ he can do to help. He’s just got to find the right people to get the job done.

 

He only sulks for a moment longer before an idea strikes him. Louis stands up when he thinks of the one place he can go to try and get some answers and some results. “I have to go somewhere really quick. I need to talk to someone at the homeless outreach program. Maybe if _I_ go explain what’s going on they’ll listen,” he says as he stuffs his feet back into his shoes and grabs his coat.

 

“Okay. I’ll go with you,” Zayn offers as he digs out his keys from his back pocket. “I’ll drive.”

 

*

Louis marches into the homeless outreach office with fierce determination and leaves with fury burning through his veins because according to everyone he speaks to, Harry is no closer to being housed than he was when he first sought out assistance over half a year ago.

 

Emergency housing is given out based on greatest need and only for a couple of months at a time before the people living in them have to move on to let the cycle continue. There are only a few dozen flats to the hundreds of people on the list. It could take several months for Harry to get off the streets and by the time he is, it’ll probably take twice as long for him to get a steady job and save enough money to get a place of his own. It’s bullshit and Louis can only listen to it for so long before Zayn has to intervene and gently pull him back to the car.

 

“I can’t believe they’re just going to let him sleep out in the fucking snow for the rest of the foreseeable future.”

 

Zayn takes his eyes off the road to glance over at him in pity. “I know, but there isn’t enough room for everybody all at once, Lou. They’re trying their best with what they’ve got and this is the best system they came up with.”

 

“Well, it fucking sucks, doesn’t it?” Louis spits, angrily glaring out of his window.

 

It’s so cold and nasty out that hardly anyone is walking today. Most people are staying warm, far away from the snow and the bitter chill of the wind and all Louis can think about are the thousands of people hidden from view who don’t have the option of escaping it.

 

Zayn parks his sports car alongside the street outside of Louis’ building when they make it back. They sit in silence for a long time before Zayn turns to him.

 

“I’m sorry you didn’t accomplish what you wanted today.”

 

His apology means a lot paired with his kind, brown eyes that have held an incredible amount of remorse since this afternoon’s debacle.

 

“It’s okay.” It’s not, but Louis is kind of out of ideas of how to fix things at the moment. “I’ll figure something out eventually,” he shrugs.

 

“I know you will,” Zayn grins. “And I know he probably hates me, but tell Harry I’m sorry next time you see him, okay? And- And tell him he can keep the sweatshirt. I want him to have it. I don’t even know why I freaked out about a stupid sweatshirt I haven’t seen in years.”

 

“Sure, Z. I’ll let him know,” Louis grins, finding it sweet that Zayn is so concerned about Harry’s opinion of him. He thinks they’d probably be good friends if they’d met under different circumstances. Louis reaches over to pull Zayn into a hug before he gets out of the car. “Thanks for coming over to check on me. And for driving.”

 

“Of course, Lou. I’ll see you tomorrow at work, alright? Let me know if you need anything before then.”

 

Louis nods and waves his friend goodbye once he pulls off, hoping he’ll get to tell Harry all of the things that he said sooner rather than later as a chill runs down his arms from the fresh snow falling from the sky in soft billows.

 

Restlessness plagues Louis the rest of the evening until the pale sun sets and worry starts to mingle in with his unrest. He calls his mother to try and take his mind off of things, but not even talking with her and his siblings is enough to distract him from the fact that Harry should be here; he should be anywhere really bedsides wherever he currently is.

 

Louis goes to bed much earlier than usual, but he doesn’t sleep at all. His thoughts won’t settle and his mind is so hard at work that Louis only attempts to sleep for a few minutes before suddenly tearing the sheets away from his body to grab his car keys and head out into the night.

 

He sets off in the direction of Cannon street with his eyes peeled for anybody who even slightly resembles the boy that he’s looking for. He drives down every side street and alleyway that stems from the main road for over an hour just hoping to catch a glimpse of him, but he comes up empty-handed every time.

 

Louis stops his car along the low street facing Southwark Bridge feeling the sting of defeat pressing in around him. He has circled this area more times than he can count and he still has no idea of where the hell Harry could be.

 

He rests his head against the steering wheel as he tries to think of an alternative to simply giving up when he glances over at the bridge and remembers what Marianne said about the homeless often fleeing to secluded areas that offer shelter without them having to be seen.

 

Louis’ eyes fall on the bridge again with its thick columns that look as though they could offer some protection from the snow, if nothing else. Louis’ never had to consider doing so, but he guesses he’d try sleeping beneath it if he had no other choice. He’d try to sleep under any of them, really. There are bridges spread out all over the city and chances are slim that this would be the one Harry chose to sleep under tonight, but Louis sure hopes it is as he climbs out of his car.

 

He walks along the water for only a minute before he begins to notice the dark shadows of people huddled against the concrete walls with all of the meager possessions they own surrounding them.  A few people glance up out of curiosity when he walks by, but not one of them says a word, their mouths as frozen as their hands and faces seem to be with each new breeze that sneaks in through the open arches.

 

He examines every face that he passes, trying to pick out the familiar cut of Harry’s jawline or the soft ringlets of his chocolate hair, but it’s not until he reaches the last grey column that Louis spots him curled up on his side in the same position that he fell asleep in on Louis’ sofa the night before.

 

He’s using his backpack as a pillow along with a thin blanket that is doing nothing to keep him warm from the way his gloveless fingers tremble where it’s clenched in his fists. Harry’s eyes fly open when he hears a pair of footsteps come closer than expected, but he calms when he sees that it’s only Louis standing in front of him.

 

Louis grins and wordlessly extends his hand to help him up and the way Harry’s green eyes water and shimmer from the cold makes Louis feel as though he’s been here before somehow. He expects resistance, especially after the mess that unfolded earlier in the day, but Harry only hesitates for a moment before placing his cold hand in Louis’ warm one.

 

He gets to work rolling up Harry’s blanket and stuffs it into his backpack before slinging it over his shoulder. Harry watches on in silence, still shivering despite the multiple layers he’s wearing. Louis sends up a quick thank you, so relieved that Harry was here tonight just like he said rather than somewhere else a lot harder for Louis to find. It wouldn’t have mattered anyway. He would’ve crawled beneath every bridge in London to find him if he had to, but thankfully he was right under Louis’ nose.

 

“Come on. Let’s get you in the car. It’s freezing out here,” he says as he starts walking in that direction.

 

Harry bites at his frostbitten lips before moving to follow along after him. He doesn’t protest Louis taking him away, but there are slight signs of confusion visible on his face when he asks where exactly they’re going. The lines of concern on his forehead disappear when Louis grins over his shoulder at him and tells him they’re going home.


	3. Chapter 3

*

The sunshine shining down paints everything around Harry in soft golden light. The warmth from the breeze and the fine sand that squishes between his toes as he runs along the surf after his sister feel so nice against his skin that he’s certain it must be a dream. Unfortunately, his suspicions turn out to be right when he cracks his eyes and he no longer sees the big waves coming in or hears his mother laughing at the way Gemma pulled him down into the water. Harry hasn’t heard his mother’s laugh in so long that the unique sound of it is almost forgotten and he hasn’t set foot on a beach since that beautiful day nearly six years ago, however he feels just as content and warm where he’s currently tangled up in the soft sheets of Louis’ guest bed all by himself.

 

He stretches and the sunlight streaming in from the window warms his bare arms and chest. He sits up when his ears pick up the faint sound of Louis’ voice paired with Duke’s coming from somewhere in the flat.

 

For the last week, Harry has had the privilege of waking up in his own time; something he hasn’t gotten to do in over six months. He sleeps for hours and hours at a time that drag on, like his body is trying catch up on every second that he missed wandering around on exhausted feet.

 

He wakes up around noon these days to a quiet, empty flat because Louis has already left for work, but today he’s up at nine. Harry usually tiptoes out of the room to find Duke napping near his doorway and a handwritten note from Louis taped to the threshold. Sometimes, it’s just a quick ‘good morning’ and a rundown of how late he’ll have to stay at work that evening. On most days though, Louis’ notes are nothing more than skillfully crafted, polite pushes for Harry to take his credit card and run wild. Harry would never do that of course even if Louis physically put the card into his hand and swiped it for him, but he still finds it funny and incredibly sweet that Louis tries so hard to encourage him. Louis’ so generous and kind and has definitely made it onto the short list of people that Harry calls true friends. Harry knows how incredibly lucky he is to have someone in his life who cares about him like Louis, which is why he refuses to take advantage despite Louis’ completely obvious attempts to corrupt him.

 

When Harry does finally step into the kitchen it’s to a scene of complete chaos with Louis wrestling on the floor with Duke to get his collar back on because he’s yet to grow into it and it always slides off. He’s attempting to hold Duke still in one arm while his other hand is hard at work trying to get the collar clasped, but Duke sees it as nothing more than a game as he fights to lick at Louis’ hands and face.

 

“Now what the hell are you doing?” Louis mutters when Duke makes a sudden attempt to leap from his arms. Duke notices Harry standing there before Louis does and tries his best to squirm out of Louis’ grip to come greet him. Louis glances up and when he hears the accidental giggle that Harry makes when Duke succeeds in breaking free, his collar forgotten on the kitchen tile at Louis’ knees.

 

“You’re up, thank God,” Louis breathes when Harry bends down to scoop Duke up in his arms. “Here. You’re the Duke whisperer. Maybe you can get him to wear the damn thing.” Louis drops the collar in Harry’s open hand and watches on in bitter amazement as Harry kisses Duke hello and then effortlessly fastens the collar around his neck. “ _Show off_ ,” he grumbles as Duke licks Harry beneath his chin.

 

“He just likes giving you a hard time because you’re the boss. I’m just a visitor,” he says, laughing when he sets Duke back down on the floor and he takes off yapping through the flat in celebration of Harry being awake.

 

“Yeah, yeah. Save it,” Louis fondly rolls his eyes. “We both know he loves you more than me. It’s okay. I’ve accepted it,” he sighs dramatically. He goes to the sink to wash his hands free of puppy saliva before grabbing a glass from the cabinet. “You’re a life saver by the way. Thanks for the help,” he says before pouring a small glass of orange juice for himself.

 

“You’re welcome, Louis. It’s the least I can do,” Harry says earnestly.

 

After everything that Louis has done for him, getting his dog to wear a stupid collar pales in comparison. He’s practically saved Harry’s life and on more than one occasion.

 

When Louis first found him under that bridge Harry had agreed to staying over just until the snow stopped again, but Louis wouldn’t hear of him going back out on his own even when the sky turned crystal clear. After a long discussion and a lot of convincing from Louis, Harry decided to take him up on his offer to stay in the guestroom, but only until Harry can be placed in emergency housing from the outreach program. He doesn’t want to over stay his welcome. A free, indefinite stay in one of the most beautiful flats Harry has ever been inside of seems like an easy choice, but the decision was actually very hard for him to make. He still wonders if he’s doing the right thing.

 

The last time he relied this heavily on somebody else for help he ended up heartbroken, jobless, homeless, and with no way to dig himself out of the hole that Aiden threw him into. Harry trusted him; the person who said he’d always be there, and then in the blink of an eye, he wasn’t. It was as if the floor had collapsed right from beneath Harry’s feet, leaving him to claw himself out of the rubble which only got heavier to move with time. Louis is a good person. He’s also a fierce friend, but even so, it’s difficult for Harry to believe that the ground won’t go crumpling again without warning. He’s learned his lesson about depending on others to hold him up when he’s falling, but Louis; well, he makes him feel stronger and steadier than Aiden ever did.

 

“So, since you’re up so early, do you want to eat breakfast here or maybe you’d like to stop and get breakfast with me someplace that’s on the way? I had some fruit a few minutes ago, but I wouldn’t mind real food if you want some too.”

 

Breakfast sounds great, amazing even, but Harry doesn’t immediately agree. He blinks at Louis a few times, trying to figure out where exactly _on the way_ is and how apparently he’s invited to tag along. “Where are you headed?” Harry asks, wondering what’s so important that Louis has to be there this early and on a Saturday, no less.

 

“St. Mary’s of course. Where else?” he says with a final swig of his orange juice. Harry glances at the clock hanging near the fridge and then at Louis searching around the kitchen for his phone when he pats at his pockets and doesn’t feel it. “I’ve actually got to go soon or I’ll be late,” Louis mutters to himself.

 

Harry spots the phone inside of the fruit basket in place of the banana Louis must’ve eaten a few minutes before. “Er- It’s a bit early for St. Mary’s isn’t it?” Harry used to leave early in the morning, but that’s only because he was usually so far away and had to walk.

 

Louis’ eyes light up in great appreciation when Harry plucks the phone from the random place that Louis left it and places it in his hands. “Thanks, mate! And no, it’s not too early,” he shrugs. “I always like to go around this time. Then I don’t have to rush around as much to get stuff done and I can help out with whatever Marianne needs too.”

 

“For a lunch that doesn’t start until two?”

 

Whenever Harry arrived at the church in the past, Louis was already there, but he just assumed that Louis had only just arrived just like all the other volunteers.

 

“Well, Curly, somebody has to get there to bake all of that chocolate cake so it’s ready in time.”

 

Louis grins at him and suddenly Harry feels all flushed and tingly from the apples of his cheeks down to the tips of his toes.

 

“I-I’m sorry, Louis. I didn’t realize. You’ve been doing all of this stuff and I didn’t even know. You didn’t have to do any of that.” Louis’ been giving up one of his only days for the possibility of uninterrupted sleep to help people; more specifically to help _him_ and he can’t think of a single reason why he’d do such a thing.

 

“Hey,” Louis frowns, coming over to squeeze his hand. “I wanted to do those things for you. Just like I want you to stay here for as long as you need, okay? I mean it.”

 

Louis stares at him until he nods his head in understanding and then another bright grin stretches across his face. “Great! Now, speedy breakfast. Are you coming with or would you rather do your own thing? No pressure,” he adds when Harry chews at his lip in deliberation.

The way his blue eyes slightly widen in hope makes Harry feel so nice. He isn’t used to people wanting him around anymore the way Louis always seems to. It’s foreign and yet such a delightful feeling to recall.

 

“Um, I’d love to, but I think I’d only hold you up. I don’t want to make you late,” Harry explains.

 

“Nonsense,” Louis waves him off. “I’ll wait for you. Take as long as you need. We’ll grab breakfast and then if you don’t have anything else planned we could head to the church together. But, only if you want to of course,” Louis says with a sheepish grin. Harry grins a bit too, biting at his lip again as he comes up with a way to tell Louis that he hadn’t really planned on going today.

 

“Thank you for inviting me, but I think I’m going to skip this Saturday, if that’s alright?”

 

“Oh. Yeah, of course, Harry,” he says understandably. “You can do whatever you want. It won’t be the same without you, though, that’s for sure,” he grins. His doesn’t seem disappointed in Harry’s refusal to join him, but he does a look a bit curious. A short pause floats between them before Louis speaks up again. “…Is there any particular reason why you’re not coming today? You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” he quickly adds making Harry grin from how concerned he is for Harry’s comfort level at all times.

 

Harry takes a moment to think about it; about how to phrase the jumble of thoughts that have been churning through his mind for the past four days. “Marianne and her program have been so good to me. There were times I’m not sure what would’ve happened to me if not for that place, but for the moment, and mostly thanks to you, Louis, I don’t think I actually _need_ it.”

Harry is still homeless but he hasn’t been _hungry_ since Louis selflessly offered him a place in his home nearly a week ago. Harry goes to St. Mary’s when he has no other choice. Right now there are so many other people who could benefit. People who unfortunately don’t have a Louis to look out for them.

 

Harry doesn’t know if Louis understands why he feels as strongly as he does about this, but he smiles to himself like he does, proud and full of silent admiration for his choice to sit this Saturday out.

 

“Say no more,” he says, and Harry releases the tiny breath was holding. “Well, whatever you get into this afternoon, just know that there’s chocolate cake being served and that your name’s all over a slice if you want it.”

 

“Thanks,” Harry chuckles. “I’ll keep that in mind while I’m going to go visit some friends I haven’t seen in a while…let them know I’m alright.”

 

Niall and Liam worry worse than mums if he goes more than a few days without showing his face. It’s been almost two whole weeks.

 

“Nice. I bet they’ll be really glad to see you,” Louis smiles again. He glances at his phone and his face scrunches up at the new time. “ _Shit._ I told Marianne I’d be there around ten. I’ve got to go, but have fun with your friends. Catch up with you later?” He darts out to his living room to grab his coat to brave the cold.

 

“I’ll see you later,” Harry nods. “Have fun.”

 

“Okay, bye! The card’s on the living room table if you need it! Try to need it!” he shouts from the front door.

 

“I won’t, but thanks anyway!” Harry answers back through a laugh, remembering a couple of days ago when he took Duke out for a walk and found the credit card as well as a wad of cash conveniently stuffed into the pocket of his coat.

 

The door closes on Louis’ fond chuckle and Harry is left alone in Louis’ flat once again. He still finds it hard to believe that Louis trusts him so implicitly. Most people on the street clutch their wallets and bags when they see Harry and people like him walking by. They take one look at him and assume he’s a thief, but Louis hasn’t shown even the slightest concern. In fact, he spends most of his time begging Harry to spend as much of his money as he’d like.

 

He goes back to the guest room and changes into one of the various outfits that Louis came home with the day after Harry agreed to stay. It’s only a pair of jeans almost identical to the ones he used to have and a simple white t-shirt, but it feels wonderful getting to put them on. He hardly recognizes himself in the mirror without any of the dirt and grime from the city smudged all over him.

 

He grabs the spare key that Louis loaned him and slips it into his back pocket along with the credit card that Louis left for him on top of a very subtle message that reads, ‘For fuck’s sake, Curly. Buy _something_ ,’ with a giant smiley face that makes Harry grin as he walks out the door.

 

He heads to Belvedere street first and stands in the window of the coffee shop to scan the inside. There are a few people milling about today but the only one Harry wishes to talk to is the blonde boy wiping down the countertops while his co-worker fills orders.

 

Harry steps in and makes his way to the counter. Niall stops working immediately and narrows his eyes when he notices Harry standing in front of him.

 

“Well, it’s about damn time. I hadn’t seen you in so long I was about to go check the hospitals and put up posters; maybe file a missing persons report or buy one of those giant megaphones to go around asking people have they seen my mate,” he frowns.

 

Harry rolls his eyes. “You were not.”

 

Niall’s frown disappears immediately and is replaced with a smirk. “Yeah, you’re right. I’m lying. I’ll admit that I was a little bit worried, but I knew you were fine wherever you were. Actually, much better than just fine by the looks of it,” Niall says after giving him a quick glance over. “New stuff?”

 

“Yeah,” Harry nods looking down at the new pea-coat and scarf that Louis bought for him even though he’d already given Harry a coat from his own closet a few weeks ago. He almost feels like a new person underneath it. Apparently he looks like one too.

 

“It looks nice on you. You look good,” Niall says, now looking Harry over more closely. “What’s the occasion? And, where’s your back pack, if you don’t mind me asking?”

 

Harry rolls his shoulders, feeling the absence of his bag like a missing limb. His first instinct has been to grab it every time he wakes up or leaves the flat until he remembers that for the time being, he doesn’t need it.

 

“It’s safe at a friend’s. I’m staying there for a while.”

 

“Really?” Niall smiles brightly. “That’s amazing news, Haz. For how long?”

 

“Uh, not very long at all. It’s just until I get emergency housing figured out, but it’s nice having somewhere to go, especially at night. He’s been so helpful and just so, so kind to me,” he grins.

 

Niall raises a skeptical eyebrow at him. Probably because Harry has never accepted Niall’s offer to stay with him and his multiple flat mates; he’d just be intruding.

 

“Has he _,_ now... Who is he again?”

 

Harry should’ve known there’d be questions.

 

“His name is Louis. He’s kind and sweet and not at all the type of person who deserves a suspicious look like _that_ ,” Harry says, laughing at the hard, protective glint in Niall’s eye.

 

“How old is this bloke?”

 

“Er…” Harry scratches his head, not sure how old Louis is actually. “I’m not sure. It’s never really come up, but he looks around our age, maybe even just a couple of years older? He dresses pretty young too so it’s hard to tell,” Harry adds. He hasn’t really seen Louis in anything besides a steady rotation of t-shirts, hoodies, and dark jeans. He wore joggers to work a few days ago which Harry found to be an interesting choice.

 

“Hmm,” Niall says, obviously not that impressed with Louis yet. “And how long have you known him?”

 

“Oh, uh. I don’t know. A little while?” Harry says, elaborating when Niall’s eyebrow arcs even higher. “Okay, okay,” he laughs. “I’ve known him almost two months…give or take a couple of weeks.”

 

“What’s he do? Where’d you meet him?”

 

“He’s the boss of a video game studio…thing. Well, _half_ -boss,” he amends. “He owns it with his best mate. I met Louis at St. Mary’s,” Harry smiles. That place really has been good to him and in more ways than one.

 

“You met him at the _church_? Wait a minute. Is this the cake guy you’re always going on about?” Harry’s smile widens as he nods and Niall immediately dives in. “Single or taken?” Niall asks with narrowed eyes.

 

Harry pauses as he searches his brain for any mention of a significant other and comes up short. “Um- I- I don’t know…I’m pretty sure he’s single. At least, I think he is anyway.”

 

“Mhmm,” Niall hums impatiently. “And is this _Louis_ into men?”

 

Harry’s face twists up at that, because why the hell would that matter. “I have no idea, Niall. Why?” Harry smirks. “Interested?”

 

“No, but I think he might be,” Niall mutters.

 

“In who? You, the person he’s never even met?” he giggles.

 

“No, in _you_ , the person who’s now living with him.”

 

“Okay, I am not _living_ with him. I’m just staying there for a little while; a few weeks at most, and besides, it’s not even like that. _Louis’_ not like that. He’d never take advantage,” Harry says with complete confidence, although he did have similar suspicions to Niall back when he and Louis first met. At the time he didn’t trust that Louis could be so kind to him without some sort of ulterior motive. He didn’t understand why Louis cared so much about him and his well-being, but then he realized that Louis is so amazing to him simply because that’s the kind of person he is. He’s giving and warm-hearted and Harry hasn’t detected any sign of Louis wanting anything more than the pleasure of his friendship. His only goal thus far has been to make Harry as comfortable in his home as possible, for which Harry couldn’t be more grateful.

 

“Do you think I made a dumb decision by agreeing to stay there?” Harry asks, now questioning whether or not their transition into companionship moved a little too quickly.

 

“No, of course not, Haz. You know that I’m a fan of any situation that keeps you safe. God knows, you never take me up on the offer,” he grumbles. “I just wanted to be sure you’re alright, but you seem fine, so I’ll back off. Louis sounds great,” he adds with an encouraging squeeze to his shoulder.

 

“That’s because he is,” Harry confirms. “He’s such an amazing person; a good friend too.”

 

Niall lets go of his shoulder wearing a little smirk. “Perhaps I was mistaken about which of you is the interested one,” Niall teases before pushing away from the countertop. “I’d be careful there, mate.”

 

Harry rolls his eyes at the suggestion in his tone. “Believe me, you have nothing to worry about from me in that department. Aiden made plenty sure of that.”

 

“Yeah, alright. If you say so. Whatever,” Niall grins before reaching into the display case and handing Harry a fresh chocolate chip cookie that he claims is going bad.

 

*

 

The journey over to Liam’s job is a long one on foot. Harry has made the trip so many times before than he’s sure he could make it there with his eyes closed, however the shoes on his feet today are brand new. They pinch his toes more than his other ones and he’s still got blister scars on his heels and ankles from his first couple of months of adapting to life on the streets, so he makes the executive decision to take the tube today instead and save himself the misery.

 

Louis’ card feels strange in his hand when he uses it to buy a pass. He hasn’t used one to buy something in months, dealing mostly in loose change and single bills he’s able to scrape together from odd jobs and kind passersby. The cards for his old accounts are currently lying at the bottom of his backpack, useless and forgotten because they haven’t worked since Aiden threw him out and froze them. He’s so used to constantly budgeting for the necessities that Louis’ card with its seemingly unlimited balance is more than a little intimidating. He hasn’t had access to large sums of money in a long time. He hasn’t been on the tube in a while either except on rare occasions when he’d buy a pass late at night and use the empty cabins to get some sleep.

 

He’s a passenger today though, and people look at him differently when he steps inside. It’s strange to have people meet his eyes when he says excuse me to the family standing by the door and takes a seat near the window. It’s strange to have people look at him at all really. No one is playing the invisible game with him today even though he’s just as solid and visible as he was before. He’s still the same Harry from last week who got yelled at for standing near a storefront for too long, but today his hair smells like Louis’ shampoo and he’s wearing a nice outfit that Louis picked out. He took a shower and cleaned the dirt from under his nails and suddenly it’s like he’s a person again. He glances down at himself, amazed to have it confirmed that it apparently takes more than simply being alive to be treated like a human. He doesn’t get it.

 

It’s only a couple of blocks from the tube to the hotel when he’s back on the street. Harry’s so glad that he decided against walking the entire way otherwise it would’ve taken him ages to get here and his feet wouldn’t have fared very well.

 

Like Niall, Liam doesn’t immediately see him when he arrives. He glances up from his computer when he notices someone walking towards him. His eyes widen in a mixture of surprise and relief as he stands up from his chair and pushes it back.

 

“Finally!” he sighs, coming around the desk to lock Harry in a tight hug. “I was worried sick when it started snowing because I wasn’t working those nights but then afterwards I still hadn’t seen you, so I thought something might have happened,” he says all in one breath. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

 

“Aww, thanks Li,” Harry squeezes his friend back as twice as hard because Liam’s so good to him. He and Niall both are, and now Harry has been blessed with Louis, yet another amazing person in his life. “Sorry I made you worry so much,” he says when Liam lets go.

 

“No, don’t apologize,” Liam smiles. “I’m just happy to see you. Where have you been? What have you been up to? Did-Did you go shopping?” he asks all of a sudden when he steps back to take a better look at him. Harry feels his cheeks flush, almost forgetting the fact that he looks so different today.

 

“Uh, no. I didn’t go shopping, but a friend did. He got me some new things. I’m staying with him for a little while too. That’s why I haven’t been around as much. Sorry, again,” he apologizes because Liam worries about him even on his good days.

 

“Harry, you not having to sleep on that stupid sofa in the back is a _good_ thing so quit apologizing for it. Not that I don’t love your visits, but I’m happy to be talking to you right now because you _want_ to be here and not because you _have_ to.” Thankfully, it’s a very different reaction from Niall who assumes Louis is busy picking out the venue for his and Harry’s wedding or whatever Niall has convinced himself is going on.

 

“So, what have you been up to, Li? How’s school? How’s work? How’s the girlfriend?” Harry asks, excited to get to catch up with his friend.

 

“School is good. It’s busy right now with exams coming up soon. Work is, well, _work_ , and Andrea is great. Thanks for asking,” he smiles. “We’re still talking about moving in together. We’re planning for some time after the holidays now, but we haven’t decided on a date yet.”

 

Liam and his girlfriend have been discussing moving in together since Harry has known him. He’s never actually _met_ Andrea, but Harry can tell that the two of them are very serious about one another.

 

“Speaking of work and all that,” Liam continues, “You haven’t been by in a while so I haven’t had a chance to let you know, but your sister called for you a few times.”

 

Harry’s good mood takes a slight dip as guilt starts to bubble up from his stomach. “Oh, really?” he asks uselessly, because of course she called. She hasn’t heard from him in almost two weeks. “Did she ask about me? What did she say?”

 

“I wasn’t working when she called. Brian was, but he told her you were at work just like I asked him to. She left messages for you to call her back as soon as possible or else.”

 

“Oh,” Harry winces. “So… now might be a good time?”

 

“Yeah, I’d say right now would be probably be best,” Liam jokes. “If you dodge her any longer she’ll just threaten to come down here again, demand your keys, and wait for you in the room you don’t stay in.”

 

Gemma’s calls to the hotel are mostly simple inquiries about his whereabouts or kind requests for Harry to call and check in, but every now and then she gets so fed up with never being able to pin him down that she swears she’s coming down to the hotel right then and there to give her own message and kick Harry’s arse for being so absent.

 

“Er- May I please use the phone?” Harry asks, growing concerned that Gemma might _actually_ follow through with her threats if he doesn’t talk to her soon.

 

“Yep. It’s all yours, mate,” Liam smirks. “Have fun. I’m going to go look for something in the office. You’ll be alright on your own, right?” Harry knows Liam has nothing to look for in the office. He’s just leaving the front desk in the event of Gemma murdering him through the phone. Harry can’t say that he blames him for hiding.

 

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. I’ll make it quick,” he promises, only for Liam to insist that he take as long as he needs.

 

He sucks in a deep breath and holds it after he dials the familiar string of numbers. Someone finally answers after the fourth ring, but it’s not the person he was expecting.

 

“Hello?” comes a voice much too deep to be his sister’s.

 

“Hi, David. How are you?”

 

“Harry! Is that you?”

 

He laughs at the amount of awe in his voice, “Of course it’s me. You don’t have to sound so surprised.”

 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” his brother-in-law chuckles. “It’s just- These last two weeks have been insane and all I’ve heard is Gemma cursing your name so I didn’t expect that we’d hear from you this soon.”

 

Harry closes his eyes in a wince. “She that mad?”

 

“No. Of course not. She’s never mad at you, Haz. She loves you. She did tell me in graphic detail the other day how she fantasizes about shoving you in the boot of her car, driving you up to Holmes Chapel, and then tying you to the armchair in our living room so that you can’t escape, but I’m about ninety percent sure that all of that crazy comes from a place of love,” he teases. Harry smiles to himself, because he misses Gemma too. He thinks about her every day.

 

“Is she there?” Harry asks, now wanting nothing more than to talk to her.

 

“Yeah, she’s here. I’ll go get her for you.”

 

“Okay. Thanks, David.”

 

“Sure thing, Harry. And, I know you’re busy down there, but hopefully after you talk to Gems we’ll see you around? Hopefully soon?” he asks. Harry tries not to feel like such an awful person when he promises to come visit them the first chance he gets.

 

Harry gives himself a mental pep talk as he waits for his sister on the line. He knows she’s getting tired of his excuses. Frankly, he’s tired of feeding them to her time after time, but it’s not like he enjoys doing it. His life isn’t what she thinks it is. It’s not even close, but keeping her in the dark is the only way he knows to keep her from worrying or trying to fix his problems when she has a life of her own. It’s not fair to drag her and David down with him, but if things keep looking up the way they currently are hopefully he won’t have to lie to her for much longer. Then maybe he really can go visit her.

 

“Haz?” says a groggy voice on the other end of the phone that takes Harry by surprise.

 

“Hey, Gems. Um, were you asleep? I’m sorry. David didn’t tell me.”

 

“He better not have. I can sleep anytime, but I can only talk to you right now. You’re more important than any nap.”

 

“Aww. How sweet. You love me that much, sis?” Harry teases, earning himself a sarcastic huff into the phone.

 

“No. I want to kick your arse that much for not calling me back sooner,” she snaps. “I’ve been trying to call you for nearly two weeks,” she says through a big yawn. Harry frowns up at the clock seeing that it’s not even two o’clock yet. She sounds exhausted.

 

“Hey, Gems? I know it’s been a while and we need to catch up, but I can let you get back to your nap if you want. I can always call another time.”

 

Gemma doesn’t take well to that at all, her voice sounding more alert than ever when she protests. “Oh, no, you don’t. I’ve been trying to track you down for ages. You’re not leaving that easily. And enough with this nonsense about bloody sleep. I get to eat and sleep for the next nine months. We’re talking now.”

 

Harry feels his heart doing something strange inside of his chest as he replays Gemma words in his head. “Did you say _nine_ months?” he checks, certain he must’ve misheard her.

 

“Yeah, Haz, I did,” she says so softly that Harry has to press his ear closer to the phone just to hear her. “That’s why I’ve been trying so hard to track you down. I wanted to let you know that I’m pregnant.”

 

“Oh my God,” Harry breathes. “Really?”

 

“Really, really.”

 

“Wait. Are you sure?”

 

Gemma cackles into the phone, causing Harry to giggle along with her. “Yes, I’m _sure_! David and I went to the doctor and had the little bean confirmed. It’s still really early, and I know you’re technically not supposed to tell anybody for ten weeks or some rubbish, but fuck that because you’re my brother and I love you and I’m telling you now, _uncle._ ”

 

Harry honestly doesn’t know what to say as his smile stretches even further. _A baby_.

 

“Congratulations! Gems! Oh my God, you’re going to be _such_ a great mum. I can’t believe you’re going to be an actual parent to someone in a few months.”

 

“I know! I can’t believe you’re going to be an uncle to my kid soon. It’s a big job which means of course that you have to stop working so much and actually show your face every now and then so the kid knows who the hell you are,” she teases.

 

Harry knows she’s only joking, but it’s as if someone just stuck a knife between his ribs, deflating him of all the good feelings that had built him up. His sister and brother-in-law are having a baby. He’s going to be an uncle. He’ll have a tiny niece or a nephew in less than a year that he needs to be there for and Harry doesn’t even have an address.

 

“Haz? You still there?” Gemma asks when he doesn’t say anything for a while. He clears the tightness in his throat to speak to her, making sure that he sounds just as thrilled as he was feeling seconds ago.

 

“You’re going to be an amazing mother. Mum would be so, so happy and proud of you and your family, Gems.”

 

“Hey, stop that,” she tells him. “Mum would be happy for me, but I’m not the only one of her kids that she’d be proud of,” she whispers. Harry doesn’t tell her how wrong she is. There’s a slight burn in his throat that only gets worse the more he thinks about it, but thankfully Gemma changes the subject before it can become more than a simple longing for his mother and the family they used to be. “Okay, enough baby and mum talk for now. I want to hear about you. How’s everything?”

 

“I’m doing really great, Gems,” Harry answers, and for the first time in a long time, it isn’t a lie.

 

They only stay on the phone for a few minutes more while Harry skillfully meanders around any questions about work. He saw some promising looking help wanted posters while he was walking earlier. He’d like to apply for those positions, all of them really, but he can’t exactly tell Gemma that. She thinks he still works at Aiden’s father’s communications office and that he lost his phone one night in a cab and just never got around to getting another one. She doesn’t know that for him, cleaning up enough to find someplace to work at all is progress. She has no idea how far Louis has pulled him out of the hole he landed himself in.

 

“I’m glad you’re doing okay, little bro. You know how I worry,” she says after Harry makes up a story about some project at the office.

 

“I know you do, and I’m sorry. I’ll be better with communicating and returning your calls. I promise to call again soon.”

 

“You mean you promise to _see_ me soon because you’re either coming to visit or letting me come visit you before I’m so fat and round that I can’t fit in the bloody car.”

 

Harry smiles because he’d love to see his sister no matter what she looks like; green, skinny, _pregnant_ , or whatever. He just needs some time to get his life straight first.

 

“Soon. I promise,” Harry says like always, except this time it feels like an actual possibility.

 

*

 

It’s just after six when Harry makes it back to the flat. He took the tube to go visit Liam, but after catching up with his friend and talking to his sister, he decides to walk back just because, enjoying the atmosphere of the city for once and the way nobody glares at him or shoves him out of the way when they want to get by. He gets to pretend he’s just like everybody else, moving with purpose like he has somewhere to be. He has no family or place that he belongs, but he has Louis, Duke, and a warm place to rest his head tonight, so he almost feels like he’s in the club instead of just faking it.

 

When he gets back to the flat he toes off his shoes noting a light soreness in the soles of his feet. They aren’t throbbing with pain thankfully, but they ache enough with each careful step that he takes to remind him that he spent most of the day walking around on them.

 

He stands in the middle of Louis’ living room hearing nothing but silence and it’s a bit strange because Duke usually pounces as soon as he walks through the door and Louis can usually be heard apologizing profusely for his behavior. Neither of them seem to be here at the moment though. They’re probably out on a walk at the moment, so Harry heads to the guestroom for a quick shower and a change of clothes.

 

By the time he’s clean and dressed in a pair of comfy sweats, the flat is filled with life again, mostly in the form of Duke barking to announce their return and Louis swearing while trying to take off his leash so he doesn’t strangle himself in the process.

 

Harry wanders in the direction of the noise and ends up finding them both in the kitchen. He picks Duke up when he notices him standing in the doorway and trots over in excitement. Louis swears again when he turns to see why Duke has gone so quiet all of a sudden, his elbow just missing the bags of food on the counter and nearly sending them crashing to the floor.

 

“Harry! You’re back,” he chirps, apparently no longer concerned with the bag he almost dropped.

 

“Hey,” Harry grins back. “I just got back. I figured you had gone to take Duke for a walk.”

 

“I did. And then I decided to go ahead and pick us up some dinner while I was out. Is Chinese okay again? I know we’ve had it like twice this week. I couldn’t exactly ask you what you wanted so I took my best guess again. Sorry.”

 

“No, it looks great. Smells good too,” Harry grins in appreciation. “Thank you.”

 

Louis rolls his eyes instead of saying ‘you’re welcome’, probably because he’s told Harry a billion times that thanks isn’t necessary. “Don’t mention it,” he says instead before he turns his back to Harry again and resumes unpacking their food. “So, how was your day? How are your friends…er- sorry. I don’t think you told me their names.”

 

“Liam and Niall,” Harry says as he takes a seat at the kitchen table. “And they’re both really great.”

 

“That’s good. I’m glad they’re doing well. Have you been mates for a long time?” he asks.

 

“Not really. Less than a year, but it feels like a lot longer than that.” It feels like Harry’s been homeless for a lot longer than that too. “I met Niall at the coffee shop that he works at and Liam works the front desk at hotel. The two of them have always treated me like a person and anytime I ever need something I know they’re there for me; food, water, a place to sit down and rest for a few minutes. They’re good friends to me, and I try my best to be a good friend to them as well.” Harry wishes he could be half the friend that they are to him but it never feels balanced. They help him so much and get very little besides Harry’s companionship in return. He just wants them to know that he doesn’t take any of it for granted.

 

He doesn’t realize Louis has stopped unpacking food until he glances up from where he was petting Duke in his lap to meet his eyes.

 

“They sound amazing; wonderful,” he says, his expression filled with unspoken appreciation that Harry doesn’t quite understand. “I hope I get to meet them one day.”

 

“Me too,” Harry grins to himself. “I think the three of you would get along great.” They’re all such kind and compassionate people that it’d be hard for them not to like each other.

 

“So, you hung out with your awesome mates. What else did you do today?” Louis asks as he grabs two large plates from the cupboard overhead.

 

“Not much. I walked a lot. I stopped by St. Mary’s to say hi a little while ago, but you were already gone.”

 

“Did you really? Damn it. I hate I missed you. I’m telling you, it wasn’t the same without you. Nobody even ate the cake. It was a disaster.”

 

“Yes, they did,” Harry rolls his eyes.

 

“Okay, they did,” he smirks, “But just know that I was in a mood the whole time I was baking it because I knew you wouldn’t be there.”

 

“You were pouting. Duly noted,” he laughs, watching Louis attempt to balance the two full plates in his hands. Harry gets up to help him and then follows Louis to the living room sofa where they both plop down in front of the television. Harry smirks over at him twirling lo-mein on his fork with his eyes glued to the show he decided on.

 

“I did something else today too,” Harry says just as Louis takes a bite.

 

“Really? What?”

 

“I did as you asked and used the card you’ve been throwing at me,” Harry shrugs. He takes a bite of his own delish food and nearly spits it out when Louis turns to him with bright eyes like he’s just admitted to winning the lottery.

 

“Finally! What did you buy? Ugh, _please_ tell me it was at least something good and worthwhile.”

 

“It was _very_ worthwhile,” he says proudly. “I took the tube to visit my friend Liam _and_ I stopped for something to eat at lunchtime. I ordered a sandwich.”

 

At first, Louis’ face falls flat at his announcement like it’s the most lackluster story he’s ever heard, but it’s like the longer he stares at Harry the more the urge to smile overtakes him until he looks just as proud as Harry feels about giving in and accepting Louis’ kindness and generosity for what it is. “What kind of sandwich?” Louis questions him looking completely serious as he readjusts his feet where they’re tucked beneath him.

 

“It was grilled chicken with roasted red pepper and it came with a side of crispy pita chips and very expensive, organic hummus.”

 

Louis stares at him again, his expression way more fond and endeared than he probably means for it to be. “Alright. Good save,” he grins after a beat. “Maybe tomorrow we can get a sandwich and work up to dessert as well. Maybe even a coffee. Perhaps a shopping spree would be nice if you’re feeling adventurous,” he says with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

 

“I think coffee is a good place to start,” Harry laughs. “We wouldn’t want to overdo it just yet.”

 

“Okay. Agreed, but just know that I’m taking you to the most expensive coffee shop we can find,” he says with a firm wave of his fork.

 

Harry just laughs and nods his consent. He doesn’t even put up a fight knowing that Louis’ going to get his way anyway. He always does, and Harry has yet to actually mind.

 


	4. Chapter 4

December

 

“Going somewhere?” asks a voice that makes Louis freeze right in the doorway he was trying to sneak out of unnoticed. So much for that.

 

He turns to find the source of it and sees Zayn still camped out in front of a computer with one of their co-workers wearing a very unimpressed expression as Louis tiptoes back inside with a sheepish grin tacked onto his face.

 

“Uh, yeah...I figured I’d just call it a night and finish up tomorrow,” he explains.

 

Zayn squints at the time displayed on the clock behind Louis’ head and then blinks at him with dead eyes.

 

“It’s five- ten.”

 

“Oh. Is it?” Louis had hoped he wouldn’t notice how early it is. “Well, you guys are almost done for the day too, right?” he tries.

 

“Nope. Not at all,” his friend says as a corner of his mouth lifts up into knowing smirk. Louis hates it when Zayn stares like this and just _knows_ shit. “What’s the rush, Lou?”

 

“I’m not in any rush, but I did kind of tell Harry I’d be home around six. He’s cooking tonight.”

 

“Awwww,” Zayn says, playfully elbowing their co-worker, Josh in the arm. “Harry’s cooking tonight, mate. Isn’t that just the cutest and most domestic thing you’ve ever heard?” he gushes.

 

Usually, Louis tries to keep a certain level of professionalism in the office, but it never actually works out for him since his best friend is a complete twat. “Fuck off. I’m leaving now. Good bye.”

 

“Okay, bye! Love you, Lou! I’ll call later to check how dinner went!”

 

“Yeah, or maybe _don’t_ do that!” Louis calls. All he gets in response is the sound of Zayn and Josh snorting in amusement as the door shuts behind him.

 

Louis hails a cab as soon he’s outside. He checks his watch and sees that he still has more than enough time to make it home to Harry and whatever savory goodness he’s concocted this time. Zayn teases him relentlessly and has been doing so ever since Harry started staying with him. He thinks it’s hilarious that Louis and Harry have such a routine, but Louis won’t apologize for it. Not when living with Harry has turned out to be so nice. So, he lets Zayn make snarky comments about Louis bringing home a stray human, and he doesn’t bat an eye when he uses his lunch break to buy more things that Harry needs but would never ask for in a million years. Kind of like he did earlier today when Zayn teased him, the evidence of his Harry-centric themed lunch break slash shopping trip hidden in the pocket of his coat.

 

When he finally makes it home he hurries through his building, anxiously drumming his fingers against his thighs in anticipation as the lift carries him up to their floor. He can hear movement and life coming from inside his flat before he even opens the door with Duke’s nails scratching again the hardwood and Harry singing to himself in the kitchen the way he always does when he gets home from his new job. He walks through the door that Harry left unlocked for him and the delicious smell of whatever he’s been cooking overwhelms him.

 

“I’m home!” he yells as he sheds his coat and toes off his shoes in the doorway. Duke hears his announcement and comes running at full speed to greet him. He’s so much bigger than he was a few months ago. He’s even slightly bigger than he was just one month ago when Harry first got here, though that’s mostly due to the treats he begs Harry to give him every day because Louis cuts him off at one.

 

He picks him up and carries him along to the kitchen, his neck and chin being licked to death the entire way. “Aww, I missed you too, you adorably fat, slobbery, pup,” Louis laughs.

 

“I sure hope you’re talking about Duke and not me,” comes a deep, gravelly voice echoing from halfway inside of the oven. Louis watches as he carefully peels back a layer of foil to check the status of the food baking away. He must be very satisfied with its progress thus far because he only looks over it for a few seconds before closing the oven door shut with a flourish. “Perfect timing getting here,” he smiles. “Only ten or fifteen more minutes and we’ll be ready to eat.”

 

“Good. I’m starving,” Louis claims, placing Duke on the ground in order to wash his hands. He’s never really much help in the kitchen, but he likes to at least try and be of some assistance.

 

He’s wrists deep in hand soap when Harry sidles over to momentarily steal the hot water for one of the pots on the stove. “You say that every night,” he laughs.

 

He releases one hand from around the pot to dig his fingers into Louis’ side and he yelps at the sudden touch, his stomach alive and fluttering when he gets suds all over the place. All Harry does is laugh harder.

 

“Come here. You’ve got soap on your face,” he giggles as he attempts to wipe the bubbles from Louis’ jaw.

 

“I’m literally covered in puppy germs. Trust me, the soap can’t hurt,” he jokes, but Harry pays him no mind, catching it all on the pad of his thumb. “Thank you,” he says quite uselessly, watching as Harry’s lips pull into an even wider grin. They’re standing very close at the moment and Louis is notorious for being awkward even at the best of times so he averts his eyes back to the sink and finishes washing up. He never really knows what to say when Harry’s green eyes are trained on his face like that, but it makes his stomach all quivery and he doesn’t really know what to do with that feeling.

 

Harry only grins at him for a few seconds before he heads back over to the stove.

 

“How was your day at work? Anything cool?” he asks as he sets the water to boil.

 

Louis looks around for something to help Harry with, but he seems to have it all covered as he grabs a box of linguine. He always feels a bit lost when they’re in the kitchen together, so Louis puts himself to work gathering plates and silverware.

 

“Er- We made a bid to create a game for a client where you get to play _as_ a group of zombies in an apocalypse rather than against them. Zayn was thrilled. It was like Christmas morning, you should’ve seen his face. Everyone’s excited to make something eat something else’s brain,” Louis laughs. Harry’s forehead crinkles up before smoothing out again with his rumbling laugh.

 

“That sounds inspiring and delicious,” he teases. “It sounds like a lot of fun. I hope your studio gets to do it.”

 

“Thanks. Me too,” Louis smiles back. Thinking how nice it is to have someone here besides Duke to come home to in the evenings. He’s never had that before. “What about you? How was your day at work, Haz?” He sets down the dishes in his hands and hops up on the counter in wait of Harry’s response.

 

“Pretty good. Unfortunately, there weren’t any zombies so that sucked, but I had a good day anyway,” he grins.

 

He’s been working as a busboy for a café a few blocks down from St. Mary’s. He’s only had the job for a couple of weeks so far and it doesn’t really pay much, but Harry’s proud of himself every day. Louis’ chest swells with an intense sense of pride for him as well when he leaves for work each morning and comes back wearing a smile.

 

Dinner is ready right at the time that Harry said it would be. They eat in the living room and chat over whatever they can find on tv. Tonight it’s Harry’s turn to choose what they watch.

 

Louis peeks over at him between forkfuls of his garlic baked chicken and pasta as he flips through channels. He’s got his hair up and the pair of joggers that Louis gave him the first night he ever stayed here. He can’t believe that was just over a month ago. It feels like he and Harry have been doing this forever.

 

“You know,” Louis says to get his friend’s attention. “I did something else today as well.”

 

“Oh, yeah? Like what?” Harry asks as he flips through more channels. His eyes grow wide when he accidentally passes by something he likes. He quickly works his thumb to go back to the beginning of Mamma Mia. His face looks just like Zayn’s did earlier today when they put in the bid for the zombie game, but unlike Zayn’s, Louis finds Harry’s bright expression devastatingly cute.

 

“Well,” Louis starts again. “I wanted to tell you that we could go out for dinner tonight if you were too tired to cook like you said you wanted to this morning, but then I remembered that you’re not allowed to use the phone at work unless it’s during your break and you ask, and I’ve kind of been meaning to do something about that anyway, so I picked something up for you.”

 

Louis walks over to the coat hanger near the door and digs out the new iPhone he bought while he was supposed to be out getting lunch. He hands it to Harry and his green eyes immediately do that thing where they widen like Louis has suddenly lost his mind.

 

“Lou. Thank you, really. I appreciate it, but I- I can’t accept this. It’s too much.”

 

Louis knew he’d say that when he bought it, but this phone is more than just some random gift that Louis saw and just had to buy. There have been plenty of times that Harry has left the flat to go see his friends or spend the afternoon exploring this part of town on his own and Louis’ mind always runs rampant wondering if he’s okay. Louis is certain that Harry used to have a phone, but it’s long gone now wherever it is and his current part-time job doesn’t pay enough for him to be able to afford one yet, and Louis is happy to help.

 

“Of course it’s not too much. It’s just the right amount,” Louis chirps.

 

“ _Louis_ ,” Harry warns in that stern voice that never really feels like an admonishment because his eyes are so light and warm.

 

“ _Harry_ ,” he says in the same tone. “Come on, Haz. Please? It’ll make me feel better knowing you have a sure way to contact someone in case of an emergency. You don’t even have to call _me_. You can do whatever you want with it, just- just take it, okay? For me?” he whispers.

 

Music plays from the tv as Harry looks down at the phone in his hand. He turns it over a few times in contemplation before meeting his eyes again.

 

“Just until I’m in a place of my own,” he says after a while. Louis nearly breaks out into a cheer from how happy he is to hear that.

 

“Okay, sure,” he says with a super serious expression to match Harry’s. “You can give it back later on. Whatever makes you feel comfortable,” he quickly agrees.

 

Louis has no intention of ever letting Harry give that phone back to him. He bought it to keep him safe no matter where he goes and that includes him living on his own in emergency housing or living in a mansion somewhere a million miles away. He’ll pay the bill for that phone for the rest of his life if he has to. He doesn’t tell Harry that though. He just grins at him and thanks him for accepting his temporary (permanent) gift.

 

Harry fights the way his lips try to pull up into a grin when Louis takes the phone and shows him where he’s already added himself as a contact. He slides the phone into the pocket of his joggers, shaking his head at him. “You’re impossible, you know that, right?” Louis just shrugs. He’ll gladly accept Harry finding him ridiculous in exchange for the small peace of mind he’ll get from Harry having a working phone.

 

*

It’s hours later by the time Mamma Mia has gone off and they’ve cleaned up. Louis has to be up for work first thing in the morning so he stands to head for his bedroom. Harry doesn’t have to be at work until noon the next day, but he says he’s tired too and follows Louis through the flat, stopping at his guest room on the left instead of Louis’ room on the right. Duke trails behind, so torn about which one of them he’s going to follow for the night that he collapses onto his tummy with a loud groan.

 

“He’s so funny,” Harry says.

 

“No, he isn’t. He’s a menace,” Louis laughs as he bends down to pick him up. “Come on, you. It’s time for bed. We’ll see Harry in the morning,” he promises, but Duke doesn’t look too excited about leaving. He makes a pitiful whimper that makes Harry step forward to pet him.

 

“Goodnight.”

 

“Aww. See, Duke. What did I tell you? Harry still loves you,” Louis jokes.

 

“I do still love him,” Harry chuckles, “But I was actually talking to you.”

 

Louis feels every ounce of blood in his face rush to the apples of his cheeks. “Oh. I- I knew that,” he lies, causing Harry to laugh at him again. “Goodnight to you too, Haz. I’ll see you in the morning.”

 

Harry smiles as he heads into the guestroom. He stops just short of closing the door and meets Louis’ eyes. “And thank you again. For the phone and everything. For always looking out for me. You’re an amazing friend, Louis.”

 

That quivering in his stomach returns when Harry shuts his door. Louis’ breath feels caught in his throat when he whispers that he’s more than welcome, but there’s no way Harry can hear him through the wood.

 

“Come on. Let’s go to sleep,” Louis says to his dog once his body stops doing whatever the hell Harry always seems to make it do. He closes his bedroom door behind him and crawls into bed, but Duke doesn’t follow him. He whines and lies down with his nose pressed against the crack of the door like he can squeeze under it if he waits long enough. Louis tries to entice him with promises to let him sleep on the bed but he doesn’t budge.

 

Louis tries to drift off for twenty minutes, but Duke is determined to not let him as he continues pouting and pawing at the door like Harry’s going to come rescue him at any moment. Louis gets up when he can’t take it anymore and opens the door for him. “Look. He’s not even out there. He’s in his room with the door closed sleeping like a normal per-” Louis stops when he sees that Harry’s door is actually standing wide open.

 

Louis tiptoes forward to peer inside the room. He can see Harry curled up beneath the sheets, clearly having a much better time with sleeping tonight than he is.

 

“Well, there he is. He left the door open for you. Go on.” Louis tells his dog, but once again Duke does nothing but sit there. “What do you want from me?” he asks. Louis returns to his room and rolls his eyes after a few seconds of Duke staring up at him. “Are you coming in or not?” Duke flops down in the middle of the corridor, giving Louis his answer. “Fine. Don’t sleep in here. See if I care,” Louis says, but he doesn’t have the heart to lock him out for the night. He leaves his door open just like Harry’s and hopes that’s good enough since Duke can now see the both of them and sleep wherever he likes. Louis crawls back into bed and falls asleep brainstorming different ways to get Duke to sleep in his basket where he’s supposed to at night. He’s so fucking stubborn.

 

*

Louis swears under his breath when his phone vibrates in his back pocket causing him to lose control of the football on the screen entirely and allowing Harry to steal it and take off towards his goal.

 

“You literally _made_ this game. Aren’t you supposed to be, oh I don’t know, _good_ at it?” Harry laughs. Louis cuts his eyes over at him. Harry used to pretend he didn’t even like playing video games but now he’s so cocky that he’s graduated to talking smack. He’s worse than Zayn. Louis is so proud.

 

“I was good at it. I mean, I _am_ good at this game,” he argues. “I was just about to score but then-”

 

“No, you weren’t,” Harry says as his player scores the winning goal for his team and the celebration confetti rains down on his team yet again.

 

“I _let_ you win this time.”

 

“Just like all the other times? Aww, Lou. You’re such a gentleman,” he gushes, and that’s it; that’s all of the underhanded gloating that Louis can take before he pounces and tickles the smug little grin right off of Harry’s face until can’t breathe from how hard he’s laughing and flailing trying to get away.

 

“Take it back. Say I would’ve won!” Louis orders over Harry’s cackling pleads for him to stop.

 

“Okay, okay! You would’ve won,” he relents, breathless and red in the face. “…Maybe. _Possibly_ ,” he smirks.

 

“You’re a dick,” Louis laughs as he pokes Harry one final time in the stomach.

 

He flops back on his side of the sofa where he belongs and digs out his phone to see the five texts Zayn has sent in the last fifteen minutes. If not for him and his persistence, Louis could’ve had like a thirty percent chance of beating Harry. Possibly even thirty-five.

 

“Is everything alright?” Harry asks when Louis frowns at the crude joke Zayn just sent about how he and Harry having a chill night in is really just code for fucking indoors.

 

“Er- Yeah,” Louis nods with way too much enthusiasm, hoping Harry doesn’t decide to take a peek at his phone. He scrolls down the rest of Zayn’s dumb texts until he gets to the only one of any substance. ‘ _Please come drink with us! We miss you!’_ “Zayn’s fine. He keeps begging for us to come out with him.”

 

His best friend has been whining for weeks about how Louis became an old married man overnight and never goes out with him anymore, but he’s told Zayn a dozen times that Harry isn’t really interested in the nightlife scene. Louis isn’t really into it either. Most of the time, he’d just gone to be social and to keep his friends company. He enjoys a night out from time to time, he’s just as fine dancing and drinking all night as he is losing to Harry on his sofa.

 

“We should go,” Harry says as he places both controllers on the table. “I get to see you all the time. Zayn rarely does.”

 

“I see Zayn every single day at work. He’ll live,” Louis tells him. He studies Harry’s face and sees that he looks completely serious about his proposition. He thought Harry hated going out.  “Harry, we don’t have to go anywhere. Zayn’s just being Zayn. Don’t let him pressure you.”

 

Harry rolls his eyes like he expected Louis to say something like that.

 

“No one’s pressuring me into anything,” he shrugs. “Zayn and your work friends invited us out and I think it sounds like fun. It’s as simple as that.”

 

“Yeah?” Louis checks. “You wouldn’t mind making a quick appearance to shut him up? Maybe even having a drink or two?”

 

“Nope,” he grins. “I wouldn’t mind at all. I haven’t been out in ages.”

 

Louis’ eyebrows raise in surprised approval. He did not see this coming. “Well, in that case, I guess we should go put on real clothes?”

 

“We definitely should,” Harry agrees as he looks down at the carelessness of their current dress. “…Unless you really wanted to stay in so I can kick your arse at your own game again,” he adds. “But, it’s up to you.”

 

Louis grabs at his chest like he’s just been punched in it. “Jesus. When did you get so barbaric?” All he achieves in saying that is another loud cackle from Harry that makes dimples appear on each of his rosy cheeks. “Go get dressed, you savage. I’ll meet you back here in a few minutes.”

 

Harry leaves, still giggling to himself as Louis pulls up Zayn’s message and hits reply. ‘ _You got your wish! Haz and I are coming down for a bit.’_

He heads to his room to find something to wear, rolling his eyes when Zayn replies with, ‘ _YEESS!!_ _You two are the best married couple I know! See you soon! Xx’_

 

-

 

Harry hasn’t been out just for the hell of it in so long that he was worried that he’d forgotten how to have fun. His fears were ridiculous of course, especially with Louis and Zayn with him. There’s no way he could feel out of place with the two of them.

 

He winces when he takes another sip of his drink that’s mostly whiskey and nothing else. Zayn bought one for him and placed it in his hand the moment he saw him and Louis walk in and has kept Harry’s glass full ever since. Other people have been buying him drinks too, though he hasn’t actually ingested any of them.

 

“Here you go!” says the barman as he slides a dark colored drink to rest right in front of him. Harry blinks down at the glass sitting next to his whiskey which is still mostly full.

 

“I- I didn’t order this,” Harry tells him.

 

“I know,” the barman says. He points to a man with short red hair who nods at them from the other end of the rounded bar. “He did.”

 

“Oh. Okay, then. Um…thanks?” Harry stares down at his pair of drinks and suddenly feels very overwhelmed. He must look like it too because Zayn laughs and drapes an arm around his shoulders when he notices Harry sitting there.

 

“You alright, mate?”

 

“Yeah. I’m okay, I guess,” Harry frowns, wondering if it’s considered rude to decline a drink from fear of death by whiskey.

 

Zayn’s gaze falls on the new drink sitting in front of him. “What the hell did you do or say to get that one?” he smirks.

 

“Nothing! I haven’t done anything but sit here and people just keep buying me shit.” It’s true. Harry had set aside a small amount of his money from work to buy a couple of drinks tonight but he hasn’t had to actually _use_ any of it.

 

“Yeah, I kind of noticed your fan club,” Zayn chuckles. “I’m not the only one either.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I mean that annoying, short guy over there with the big blue eyes who’s been pretending to not stare at you all night long. He’s funny looking, that one. He’s staring at you right now actually.”

 

Harry peers in the direction that Zayn nods and locks eyes with Louis. His friend grins and raises his beer at him before taking a sip of it and returning back to his group of friends. “That’s just Louis,” he smiles. He’s felt that pair of eyes on him since they got here, but Harry knows it’s only because Louis cares so much. He wants to make sure that Harry is alright even when he’s all the way across the room and Harry couldn’t be more thankful.

 

Zayn quietly considers Harry for a moment and the way he smirks makes Harry feel like he’s not in on some kind of joke.

 

“What?” he asks, suddenly feeling self-conscious.

 

“You know, Harry… you’re not the only one here who’s been getting flirted with left and right.” Harry looks Zayn over and nods, because he can see why men and women would throw themselves at him. “No. Not _me_ ,” Zayn laughs. “I’m talking about _Louis_.”

 

Harry checks over his shoulder again and sees that Louis is still nursing the same beer he had an hour ago with half the label half scratched off because he always has to be doing something.

 

“Okay. Well, why isn’t he flirting back with them?” Harry asks. If anyone should be lavished with attention, it’s definitely Louis. Zayn’s smirk only widens like he can see some sort of master plan unfolding before his eyes.

 

“I can’t be certain, but I’m pretty sure it’s for the same reason you’re not flirting with other people either.”

 

Harry feels his forehead crinkling up as he tries to work out Zayn’s cryptics. For the majority of this year, Harry was living on the streets just trying to survive because of the last guy he was with. He’s not exactly looking for a replacement at the moment. It’s nice to be noticed again and smiled at, but that’s where it all ends for Harry. He’s not really interested in some arsehole guy who’s just going to walk out and leave when Harry needs him the most. He learned his lesson about that the hard way, so that’s why _he’s_ sitting here alone. As for Louis...Harry’s not quite sure what his deal is.

 

“You know how I tease Louis and say the two of you are a couple? Why do you think I do that?” Zayn pushes. And Harry has no idea. He assumes he does it to get on his nerves because that’s what people do when they’ve been friends as long as Louis and Zayn have.

 

“I don’t know. Because you like to fuck with him?” Harry tries.

 

“Yes, that’s part of it,” Zayn admits with a smirk, “But, I mostly say it because it’s true, Harry. You two are perfect.”

 

Harry ducks his head when he realizes what Zayn is implying. “We’re not- We’re just friends,” he says immediately, hoping Zayn can’t tell that his face is heating up. Usually Harry laughs along when Zayn says the two of them have gotten close, but he’s never told anybody how much he likes hearing it. He barely even lets himself think about it.

 

“No, no, no, mate. Louis and _I_ are just friends. You two are like, _fuck_ , I don’t even know. It’s the craziest thing I’ve ever seen. He wants to see you happy all the time no matter the cost. I’m pretty sure he wakes up every day with the sole purpose of making you smile just so he can have an excuse to go on and on about your fucking dimples. He talks about how smart you are and how amazing you are to anyone who will listen and the poor sod doesn’t even realize he’s doing it. Louis saw that you needed help when you first met and he didn’t hesitate to do everything in his power to make sure you were alright and he’ll _keep_ doing that, Harry, because he loves you.”

 

Zayn’s words sound lovely. So do Liam and Niall’s when they say the same thing about him always bringing Louis up in random conversations. Harry doesn’t let himself think about it too often, but if he were to ever let someone back into his heart, he wouldn’t mind at all if it was Louis. Louis, who would never hurt him or do what Aiden did, but Louis is already so many things to him. He is his best friend in the entire world. It’s wrong for Harry to want more than that from a person who’s already given him so much.

 

“I’m sure he does love me. He cares about me, but not in the way you’re thinking,” Harry says after a while.

 

“Like hell he doesn’t,” he scoffs. “It’s painful to even be in the same room with you two.”

 

Harry rolls his eyes at that. “Oh, yeah? Well if he feels as strongly as you think he does then why hasn’t he said anything?” Harry has never known Louis to bite his tongue about anything. He goes for what he wants and always gets it. Surely he’d tell Harry if were even remotely interested in him. He’d probably shout it from the rooftops if he _actually_ wanted him.

 

He’s sure that he’s stumped Zayn and destroyed his whole theory when he says nothing, but then his eyes go soft and he adopts this bitter-sweet grin that Harry’s never seen from him before.

 

“He’s scared, Haz.”

 

Harry frowns down at his two drinks, certain that can’t be true. Louis is one of the most fearless people that he knows. What could he possibly have to be afraid of if he really does feel the way that Zayn says. “Of what?”

 

“Of _you_ ,” he answers, gesturing to Harry like it should be obvious. “He won’t admit it, but he’s terrified of you leaving. He knows you had a rough time with your boyfriend so he’d never tell you any of what I’m saying, but he’d go through life miserable and so in love with you that he can’t see anyone else before he’d ever make you feel like you owe him something. He’d never risk losing your friendship even if that’s all the two of you ever have.”

 

“But, he _doesn’t_ make me feel that way,” Harry whispers. Louis has never once made him feel inferior or indebted to him. Louis deserves the world for how wonderful he’s been to him and he’s never asked for anything in return. He deserves every happiness in this life. Harry just never imagined that he could be the one to give those things to him.

 

“Then maybe you should tell him that. What’s the worst that could happen, right?”

 

Zayn claps him on the shoulder again and grins before leaving him alone with his two full drinks and his brain so jumbled that he’s not sure what to do. He sits there for a long time wondering if there’s even an ounce of truth to the assumptions Zayn has made until he can’t just sit around anymore. He has to know, so he gets up from his seat and takes both drinks in his hands.

 

He heads for the back of the room where Louis is still hanging out with his friends even though he seems to be doing more polite listening than actual talking. He glances up at the bar again where Harry was just sitting and looks disappointed to see that he’s not there. He scans the room for him, his face brightening immediately when he notices Harry walking right towards him.

 

“Oh. There you are,” he smiles. “I thought you’d taken off with one of the billions of men vying for your attention. But then again, you and Zayn looked pretty cozy a second ago as well,” he teases.

 

Harry tries to find hidden meanings in Louis’ words but can’t really find any. He’s joking with him about other guys, one of them being his best friend, so Harry assumes it means nothing. God, he wishes there were a way to tell what he’s thinking.

 

“Here, I brought you something. You’ve had that beer most of the night.”

 

“God, is that whiskey?” Louis asks, eyeing the glass dubiously. “Do you _want_ me to be hung over tomorrow, Haz? I’m warning you it won’t be pretty. I’ll whine and complain all morning and probably beg you or Zayn to take care of me.”

 

Harry grins at the image. Louis whines every morning anyway simply because he hates waking up.

 

“I’d take care of you. Whatever you needed.” He would do anything for Louis. No questions asked.

 

He watches in wonder as Louis ducks his head to hide the way his cheeks turn pink, the first indicator of many that he’s ever paid attention to as a peek into how he feels about him. How many looks like this has Harry missed in the past? Probably hundreds since Louis is always smiling when he’s with him.

 

“So, are you having fun?” He asks once his cheeks return to normal color. “I know you’re not really that into this sort of thing…”

 

Harry hasn’t said much since he’s been standing here. He’s been too busy trying to read Louis.

 

“I’m having a great time,” Harry grins to put Louis’ mind at ease. “I like it here.”

 

“Me too. The music is a lot nicer than it used to be. It used to be too loud.”

 

“Yeah, and it’s kind of warm with so many people here. Do you want to go out front with me for a bit?”

 

Louis puts down his drink and grins like Harry just invited on a trip around the world. “Sure. I’d love some fresh air.”

 

Harry grabs their coats where they’re lying on the corner table that Zayn claimed for them and hurries to follow Louis out of the door. The cold air hits them as soon as they’re outside, but it’s such a welcome feeling compared to the stuffy air inside of the club.

 

Louis looks around for somewhere to sit. There are no benches out front so he slides down the brick wall of the club until his knees are tucked up against his chest. Harry slides down next to him; that strange feeling of somehow being here before starting to creep up on him. He never knows where it comes from, only that it happens at the most random of times and only when he’s with the boy sitting next to him who’s currently smiling to himself.

 

“I always love this time of year. Everything looks so pretty,” Louis says, his eyes trailing the strings of twinkling lights wrapped around the lamp posts and draped across the entranceways of the shops across the street.

 

“It does, but it’s also your birthday in a couple of weeks. That’s the other reason you like this time of year,” he points out. Louis smiles over at him.

 

“You remembered.” He sounds surprised, like he didn’t think Harry heard him or cared when he mentioned it forever ago.

 

“Of course I did, Lou. I told you I would,” Harry grins. “What do you have planned for the big day anyway? You have to do it right. Twenty-seven is a big one.”

 

“No, it isn’t,” he disagrees, “And, I don’t have much planned. I haven’t seen my family in months. I’m excited to spend time with them.”

 

“I’m sure they miss you a lot too, Louis. You’ll have so much fun,” Harry assures him.

 

“I know,” Louis answers. “We both will because you’re coming with me.”

 

“Louis, no. That’s really nice of you. It’s insanely nice of you to invite me along, but I promise I’ll be fine right here. I couldn’t intrude on you and your family. I-”

 

Louis interrupts him before he can even finish. “Save it, Curly. I already told mum you’ll be coming with me. I also requested home-made chocolate cake as a non-negotiable dessert option. She’s amazing in the kitchen, mate. You don’t want to pass that up.” he says with a wiggle of his eyebrows that’s probably meant to be enticing, but it just makes Harry laugh. And, God, he never realized how much Louis makes him laugh every day.

 

He nudges Harry with his elbow, pulling a stubborn grin out of him. He’s still grappling with the fact that he’s going to be crashing Louis’ precious family time, but it was so nice of Louis to think of him that he can’t say no. “Thank you, Louis. I’d love to.”

 

Harry used to love special days like Christmas. And he loves Gemma and her little family, but holidays just haven’t been the same since his mother died. It’s sad to admit, but he’s grown used to feeling alone during Christmas. It seems that won’t be the case this year, though and it’s all thanks to Louis.

 

“No one should have to spend the holidays alone, Haz. Especially not you. You’re welcome at my mum’s any time.” Louis places a hand against Harry’s knee and Harry can feel the warmth from his palm seeping past his jeans down to his skin. He feels loved and safe, and in a moment he realizes that everything about Louis makes him feel that way; warm and tingly all over like a first sip of champagne. He wonders if he makes Louis feels even half of that when they look at each other. According to Zayn, he does.

 

He has to muster every ounce of courage that he has to fold his hand over Louis’ where it’s resting on his knee. He weaves their fingers together and it’s weird holding someone’s hand again after going so long without doing so, but it’s just Louis, and the knowledge that Louis would never hurt him quiets the voice in his head saying he’s about to ruin it all.

 

Louis stills at the touch and then giggles at their laced fingers. Harry can tell that it’s nothing but bravado. “This is new,” he smiles, still trying to downplay the flush spreading beneath his cheeks. He freezes, the teasing smile falling off his face when Harry shifts to face him.

 

Harry searches his eyes for any clues as to what he’s feeling, but all he sees is an ocean of electric blue and nerves when he cups Louis’ cheek in his other hand. “Can I kiss you?” Louis leans into Harry’s thumb where it’s tracing the curve of his face and nods once. His lips are parted and _right there_ and Harry doesn’t give himself time to second guess it before he leans forward.

 

Their lips touch and Harry can hear the soft exhale of air that leaves Louis’ lungs. Harry thought he might be bad at this since he’s been out of practice, but they fit each other so well. They’re perfect, just like Zayn said, and when Harry pulls back he curses himself for not having mustered the courage to do this on his own.

 

Louis’ quick breaths are visible in the cool night when his eyes flutter open. Harry can’t read him. He doesn’t know if Louis’ gone so quiet because he crossed the line or if he actually enjoyed being kissed so randomly. Maybe he’s just in shock.

 

“So…I’m sure you’re probably wondering where that came from…” he says with a nervous laugh to himself. Harry still can’t believe that he actually did that. Louis looks as though he’s just seen a ghost and snogged it with the way his mouth is still partially hanging open. “Um- I don’t know if you’ve ever thought about me in that way before, but I wanted to kiss you. I wanted to try it at least once just in case you have thought about kissing me and you were wondering if I’d mind because I- I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t mind,” Harry finishes. He drops his gaze to the concrete below after he stumbles through that pitiful explanation for why he just destroyed their friendship. “Please say something?” he begs even though Louis doesn’t owe him a thing.

 

Harry holds his breath in wait. He doesn’t know what Louis will say in response to him being an idiot, but he definitely doesn’t expect it when Louis takes his face in his hands and connects their lips for a second time. He moves so quickly that Harry feels as though he’s free falling when Louis pulls back with eyes twinkling brighter than the stars above.

 

“This entire night may have just been a one-time thing for you to see what it might be like, and I get that, if it was. But, uh, if it _wasn’t_ ; if it’s something that you might want to try again sometime then this is me letting you know that you can,” he says with warm cheeks. “I- I wouldn’t mind it either. But only if you wanted to, of course,” he quickly adds.

 

Louis tries to pass his invitation off as no big deal as he looks anywhere but Harry’s eyes, but Harry can tell that he’s anxious; nervous. Harry can’t remember the last time _he_ made someone feel nervous.

 

“Okay. I’ll keep that in mind. I can kiss you if I want. Duly noted,” he promises, and Louis’ tiny grin blooms into a massive one right before Harry’s eyes. Harry squeezes his hand, and smiles because none of this feels real. They both probably look like idiots sitting side by side grinning at nothing. Harry’s suspicions are confirmed when the club door swings open and Zayn’s head pops out of it all of a sudden.

 

“Here you two geriatric lovebirds are! We thought you disappeared on us. I checked the toilets first to see if you snuck off in there and- and what the hell are you two smiling at like that?”

 

Zayn’s eyes do a quick assessment of the way they’re slightly leaned in towards each other with their hands still joined between them and his eyes grow comically wide.

 

“ _Holy shit_ ,” he says as if the two of them holding hands has just altered the state of the world. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry I interrupted…whatever _this_ is! Ignore me! Go back to whatever you were just doing,” he begs before slinking back inside however he sticks his head out of the door again not even ten seconds later.

 

“Shit. Sorry again, but we got an Uber. The driver’s gonna be here soon, but you have a few minutes so take your time,” he beams. When he’s gone for good Louis and Harry take one look at each other before cackling out loud into the night.

 

“Did you see his face? That reaction definitely trumps the Zombie game reaction,” he cackles.

 

“He just wants what’s best for you. That’s probably why he spent so much time hinting that I should do something about the way we apparently watch each other with heart eyes. All the time.”

 

“He did? That bastard.” Louis’ grin is stubborn like he wants to be mad at Zayn’s prying but can’t.

 

“Alright,” Louis says as he extends a hand to Harry. “You heard him. Our ride’s gonna be here any minute and Uber waits for no man,” he grins. Harry takes his offered hand, pulling himself up from the brick wall, and that feeling of somehow being here before strikes him once again. All it takes is one look into those blue eyes of his to realize that Louis has been there for him since the first time he ever needed help. He can’t believe he didn’t remember until now. “What?” he asks when he notices the peculiar way that Harry’s looking at him.

 

“Nothing. I- I just remembered where I met you.”

 

Louis’ brow furrows like Harry has lost his mind. “Well, we used to see each other there every Saturday, so I should hope so,” he jokes. His face turns more serious when Harry doesn’t laugh with him. He’s too wrapped up in the memory of that night to feel anything but extreme gratitude towards him.

 

“It wasn’t at St. Mary’s,” he whispers. “I told you I thought I’d seen you before and- and I did. It was right here in this spot.”

 

Louis glances around them like he’s trying to recall whatever memory Harry’s currently reliving. “Are you sure?” he chuckles, not at all convinced that Harry hasn’t lost his mind.

 

“Yeah,” he breathes. “It was forever ago. I had just gotten kicked out of my hotel room after Aiden froze all of my cards. I didn’t know where else to go so I went to our old flat to try and talk to him but he wouldn’t come to the door.”

 

Aiden was already with someone else. He’d already moved the new guy into their flat and he wanted nothing to do with Harry. He wouldn’t even answer his calls. “I waited there for hours hoping to convince him to be more reasonable until I found a place of my own, but eventually I was forced to leave and I just started walking.” All Harry could think about at the time was going back to Holmes Chapel. His mother was long gone, but Gemma would surely know how to fix everything that was wrong. It took him less than ten blocks to realize that Gemma and her husband didn’t sign up to put up with his shit. “I walked for hours until my feet hurt so bad that I had to stop. I sat down here against this wall to get myself together, trying to figure out what the hell I was going to do when a bunch of guys came piling out of the club door, and you…you were one of them. I was a mess. I was crying so hard that all I could really make out was this one drunk boy lagging behind everyone else and fumbling with a wallet.” Harry smiles thinking about how bothered Louis was about trying to pay for the cab. “You dropped the wallet and every bill that you had went flying. You stooped down to pick it up and-”

 

“And that’s when I saw you,” Louis finishes now staring at the spot where Harry had been crying his eyes out because he was tired and hungry and had nowhere to go. Louis’ was the only kind face he’d encountered all night. He smiled at Harry and spoke to him like a person instead of a problem, and then to top it all off he gave Harry money that he rationed and used for food for the next four days. Louis saved his life that night without even realizing it.

 

Harry stares down at the spot that he sat in all those months ago. He’s been so thankful to have have met Louis at the church when he did. He’s always thought of Louis as some sort of answered prayer that God or his mother must’ve heard and saw fit to deliver on. Harry used to pray for things to get easier, for someone somewhere to notice that his life and situation were so far beyond the point of him fixing them on his own when Louis’ been here for him the whole time.

 

“Haz,” he says, his voice cracking with emotion. “I’m so, so sorry. I- I was so drunk that night. We were out celebrating some stupid thing that happened at work that I can’t even remember anymore and I _saw_ you, and I _knew_ something wasn’t right, and all I did was shove my spare change in your fucking face. I should’ve done something. I- I should’ve realized that you needed help but I didn’t, and you had to spend all of that time out here on the street because I was too much of a fucking idiot to do something when I had the chance. _Fuck_ \- Harry, I’m _so_ sorry.”

 

There are tears in his eyes when he finishes. A couple slide down his cheeks and Harry uses his finger to catch every one of them. Louis should never feel like anything he’s done is less than amazing.

 

“None of what happened to me was your fault, Louis. None of it. You helped me so much that night, you don’t even know. I was invisible to most people. No one else even blinked or noticed I was there, but you saw me.”

 

Louis pushes up on his toes to hug Harry tight against him. “I’m still sorry.”

 

It breaks Harry’s heart to know that he feels even slightly responsible when Louis has been nothing but a bright, shining light in his life. “I’ve told you, Lou, you have _nothing_ to apologize for, okay? You of all people shouldn’t be saying sorry.”

 

It takes a while of holding him and whispering that he’s so grateful for everything that he’s done, but eventually Harry hears the quiet, ‘ _okay_ ’ that he whispers back.

 

When Zayn and the rest of the guys burst out of the club they see the way they’re clinging to one another but not the drying tears still glistening on their cheeks. They immediately begin teasing the two of them. Harry gets called an old married man more times that he can count on the way home, but he doesn’t mind it; not when Louis is holding his hand between them, squeezing it like he has no intention of ever letting go.

 

-

 

Duke greets them when they arrive with all the love of a puppy who hasn’t seen a live human in a million years. Louis announces that he’s going to take him out for a quick walk before bed. He doesn’t flat out ask Harry if he wants to come along. He’s too shy, but the question is right at the tip of his tongue. Thankfully, Harry offers to join him all on his own, and Louis is glad for the company.

 

It’s even later when they get back. It’s well past two in the morning, which would be okay under normal circumstances if this were a Saturday night, but it’s Friday and Louis has to be up early to go volunteer. He yawns standing in the doorway of his bedroom with Duke cuddled in his arms looking just as exhausted and ready for bed as the both of them. “Goodnight, Harry,” Louis says around another big yawn. Harry laughs when his words come out all warped.

 

“Goodnight. And goodnight to you too Duke,” Harry smiles, coming over to pet him one last time. He goes to step back once he’s finished scratching the puppy behind the ears, but before he gets too far away, Louis uses one arm to pull him into a hug. He lifts up on his toes to kiss him on the cheek, watching as a delighted dimple carves its way into his skin.

 

He’s never done that before. He was too scared to even think about something like that before tonight even though he has felt to urge to kiss Harry goodnight every time they linger in this corridor.

 

“Bye. Goodnight,” Louis says again through a grin of his own before walking into his bedroom and leaving the door open so Duke can come and go as he pleases.

 

He climbs into bed with his heart still pitter-pattering in his chest. He hears Duke settle down in his basket after a few minutes which Louis finds odd considering the dog now spends his nights equidistance from his and Harry’s room. He realizes why Duke has deigned to sleep in his room tonight when he feels the mattress dip from the weight of Harry climbing into bed behind him. Harry lies down next to him and Louis holds his breath as a pair of strong arms tentatively close around his middle. His palms are warm where they rest against his tummy, giving life to a swarm of butterflies inside of his stomach.

 

“Is this okay?” Harry’s voice rumbles right next to his ear.

 

“Mmhm,” Louis nods, wondering if Harry knows his heart is racing. “Yeah, of course.”

 

He settles into the hold that Harry has around him, telling himself to breathe. The pace of his heart slows the longer he reminds himself that it’s just Harry squeezed into the bed with him. There’s no reason for him to be this nervous.

 

They lie in the quiet for a long time, adjusting to sharing their space. He thinks Harry may be asleep after a few minutes, but then he inhales and releases a difficult breath against Louis’ skin, his grip tightening around his waist as if he’s a lifeline.

 

“My sister’s going to have a baby,” he whispers. His admission is so soft that Louis almost misses it.

 

Louis places a hand on Harry’s where they’re laced over his stomach. He didn’t even realize Harry had a sister, let alone one who’s pregnant; though it does explain who Harry’s been secretly texting and talking to all this time on his new phone since he communicates openly with Liam and Niall. Louis has never asked about Harry’s family. It always seemed like such a sensitive topic to breach and obviously it still is, but for some reason tonight Harry trusts him enough to talk. He’s letting Louis in, and that’s everything.

 

“That’s so amazing, Haz. You’re going to be an uncle,” he congratulates him, rubbing Harry’s forearm to offer him the comfort that he seems to need at the moment. He sounds so scared. “What’s her name?”

 

“Gemma.” He says her name with so much love. It breaks Louis’ heart to know that something about their relationship is bothering him. “I miss her. I haven’t seen her in so long. She lives in Holmes Chapel with her husband David. I avoid her so she can’t come here and I’ve never really had the money to go back home before. I lie to her constantly even though she’s all I’ve got and I feel like such shit all the time for it.”

 

Louis’ mind feels like it’s on overload with the amount of new facts he’s learning. Harry has family; a sister who’s married and about to have a baby in their hometown. He didn’t even know where Harry was from until thirty seconds ago. He didn’t think he had any right to ask him.

 

“And now you know that I’ve been lying to you too,” Harry sniffs. “I’m sorry, Lou.”

 

“Hey, none of that,” Louis shushes him as he flips over in Harry’s arms. “You never lied to me about your sister because I never asked you about her. And I know it’s been a while since you’ve both seen each other, but we can go visit her some time. Christmas would be perfect. We can go see my mum and all my siblings, and then afterwards we can go to Holmes Chapel to visit your family too. It’ll be like having a holiday road trip or something else made up like that,” he smiles.

 

He expects for Harry to give him at least a grin for his efforts, but he doesn’t expect the way Harry buries his face in his neck as he holds him so tight that Louis feels almost breathless.  

 

“Thank you so much,” he whispers. Louis lifts Harry’s face up until they’re looking right at one another. Louis reminds himself that it’s okay to kiss him as he presses their lips together. They’ve only done this a couple of times so far, but the way Harry melts into him already feels so natural.

 

“You’re welcome, Haz,” he tells him when he pulls away. “You’re so welcome.”


	5. Chapter 5

“Quit cheating, _cheater_.”

 

“I’m not even _doing_ anything!” Harry exclaims. “You’re doing a fine job of losing all on your own.”

 

Louis cuts his eyes over at Harry and the deep level of concentration in his eyes as he steals the ball in a move that Louis really should’ve seen coming since he does it literally every time Louis is close to scoring.

 

“Oi! Stop that!” he yells. “I never do that to you when you have the ball!”

 

“That’s because you don’t know how,” Harry laughs, clearly delighted and cocky as ever when he scores the winning point. There’s confetti and applause as Louis glares at the screen. He moves his death stare over to the curly-headed boy beside him who’s smiling so hard that his eyes are all crinkled up at the corners. “Sorry to take you down like that, Lou, but it had to be done. I’ve got a title to defend,” he explains.

 

“A title, huh? And is this title called _annoying pain in my arse_?”

 

Louis attacks in full force, tickling Harry until he’s curled up in the arm of the sofa laughing his head off as he begs Louis to stop. He retaliates when Louis eases up by grabbing hold of Louis’ wrists and pushing him back onto the sofa until he’s practically crushing Louis under all of his weight to hold him down. Louis stops struggling to get away as soon as he realizes how close they’ve gotten, Harry’s eyes still bright with laughter where they’re looming right in front of his.

 

Harry smiles at him making his stomach all quivery the way he’s used to it feeling these days. His heated gaze flashes down to Louis’ mouth and the quivering sensation erupts into a million little butterflies that steal his breath away when Harry presses his soft lips to his.

 

They assured each other that occasional kisses were okay that night outside of the club almost two weeks ago. Since then, they’ve only shared a handful of intimate moments like this, but each spontaneous kiss has been even better than the one before it.

 

“Okay?” Harry checks when he pulls back.

 

Louis raises his hand up to move the loose strands of Harry’s hair behind his ear. He leans his head into Louis’ touch, his dimples on full display when Louis answers with, “Perfect. Twelve out of ten stars,” he grins.

 

“ _Wow_. You’re being awfully nice for someone who just suffered such a devastating loss on the pitch,” he laughs. Harry may have just kicked his arse for the hundredth time and he might be an annoying, smug bastard about it, but Louis will never complain about having this beautiful boy lying on top of him; never.

 

“Oh, I had every intention of tickling the life out of you a few seconds ago as payback. It’s lucky for you that volunteering leaves me feeling so kind and forgiving,” he smirks. All Harry does is roll his eyes at him and mutter a sarcastic ‘ _yeah, right_ ’ beneath his breath. “Marianne was so happy to see you,” Louis comments. “I’m really glad you came with me again today.”

 

Louis has gone to St. Mary’s by himself every Saturday morning since Harry started staying with him. He always tells Harry that he’s welcome to tag along if he wants, even though he usually politely declines. Things have been different for the last two weekends though, because Harry has asked to come with him.

 

He woke up last Saturday and decided he wanted to give volunteering a try. Louis could tell that he was nervous at first about being on the other side of feeding the homeless, but he ended up liking it so much that he asked to come along this morning as well for the big holiday luncheon. The only thing better than helping others by serving food to people in need is having Harry right by his side doing the exact same thing. Louis can’t think of a better way to spend his Saturdays.

 

“It was really nice seeing her and everyone else again,” Harry says. “She said she was happy to see me there, but thankfully under different circumstances. She’s always been so kind to me.”

 

“Marianne’s an amazing person,” Louis agrees. She cares about all of the people who come into St. Mary’s, but secretly, Louis thinks she worries about Harry the most. She’d been terrified that something had happened to him the first Saturday he didn’t show up. Louis calmed her fears by explaining that Harry was just fine and probably still sleeping since that’s pretty much all he did the first two weeks he stayed in Louis’ flat. She was so relived to know that Harry was alright that she pulled Louis into a tight embrace and thanked him about a billion times for keeping him safe.

 

“It’s too bad she’s leaving early to go out of town for the holidays. I forgot her gift here this morning. I wanted her to have it at Christmas.” Harry’s holiday shopping list wasn’t long, but he’d put every important person in his life on it, which surprisingly enough included Louis even though he told Harry not to waste his hard earned money on him.

 

“Yeah, that is too bad,” Louis nods. “However, we won’t be here for Christmas either. We’ve got our big holiday road trip, remember?”

 

“Oh, yeah. The road trip. How could I forget?” Harry laughs. “You’ve only been crossing days off the calendar _all month_.”

 

Louis has been so excited that he’s called his family almost every day for the last week to tell them how much he’s looking forward to seeing them.

 

“You mean to tell me that you’re not excited to be stuck in a car with me for an extended period of time and then tackled at my mother’s door by a legion of my siblings?”

 

“No, I am,” Harry smiles. “I’m excited, it’s just- I’m kind of nervous too,” he admits with a shrug.

 

Louis figured as much. Lately, anytime Christmas is mentioned Harry adopts this anxious sort of expression like he’s unsure if it’s a good idea for him to even get out of bed for the occasion.

 

“What’s got you so nervous?” he asks softly.

 

Harry sighs as thinks about it, eventually shrugging like he can’t really explain why he feels the way that he does. “I don’t know. I think it’s mostly the fact that your family doesn’t know anything about me; my sister doesn’t really know much about me either for that matter,” he mutters, and it’s not even true. Gemma knows her brother; she’s just missing a few key details from the last year or so of his life. It’s nothing that can’t be fixed with a few honest conversations between the two of them.

 

“Haz, my family is going to love you no matter what and your sister is going to be so happy to see you. The time you’ve spent apart won’t even matter. I promise,” he squeezes his hand.

 

Harry nods and then takes a deep breath.

 

He’s silent for a while, his forehead all crinkled up like he’s working up to saying what else has been on his mind. “Um, not that it’s an issue,” he begins quietly, “but have you already told your family about me? You know…about how we met?”

 

Louis assumes he means that they met at the Feed the Homeless Program and not as co-volunteers.

 

“Oh, you mean how we met over a large sheet of chocolate cake one fateful afternoon because you and I have a mutual love for sweets?” he asks. “Yeah, they know all about it,” Louis teases.

 

Harry fondly rolls his eyes at him, a big stubborn grin pulling at the corners of his mouth. “So you didn’t tell them about me being homeless?”

 

“Nope. Didn’t think it was important. I also figure it’s not really my story to tell,” Louis explains. “As far as they know, I met you over lunch. Which _isn’t_ a lie,” Louis says when Harry gives him a flat face. Louis’ mother knows the truth because he couldn’t help telling her all about the amazing man he met at St. Mary’s. He’d let Harry know how much his mother already adores him, but something tells him it would only make Harry more anxious about meeting her.

 

“Alright, then,” Harry concedes. “I guess _technically_ it isn’t a lie; just a slightly shorter and nicer version of the truth,” he grins. He takes Louis’ hand in his after that, squeezing it in great appreciation with those soft green eyes of his. “Thanks, Lou,” he whispers.

 

Louis tries to ignore the way his pulse picks up when he smiles back at him and tells him not to mention it.

 

-

 

“Turn left here.”

 

Harry does as he’s told, turning left down one of the shorter streets in the neighborhood. It’s been a long time since Harry’s been behind the wheel of a car, however it’s been a lot of fun getting reacquainted with it, especially with Louis navigating in-between making up his own lyrics to whatever comes on the radio.

 

Driving has been a great distraction for Harry. He hasn’t had a mini-panic attack about meeting Louis’ family all morning. Which, now that he thinks about it, was probably why Louis gave him the keys in the first place. He thinks he’s so clever.

 

“Okay, slow down a bit. It’s right here. It’s the one on the right with the oak door,” he says, smiling out of the window at a large house with a thick wooden door as they turn into the drive. “And now we’re officially at holiday stop number one!”

 

He turns to Harry and looks even more excited about being home than he was last night when he could hardly even sleep or this morning when he woke up before Duke had even cracked open his eyes.

 

Harry puts the car in park and stares up at the huge house that looks fairly new considering Louis is about to be twenty-seven tomorrow. There’s no way he could’ve grown up here.

 

“It’s beautiful,” Harry tells him.  “I can’t wait to meet everyone.” He’s actually pretty terrified to meet anyone that lives inside, but he knows his fear is completely unwarranted. If Louis’ family is even half as wonderful and accepting as he is then Harry has nothing to worry about.

 

“They can’t wait to meet you either. You ready to go in? Are you hungry yet? I’m starving. _God_ , I bet there’s so much food already.”

 

Louis climbs out of the car and quickly grabs both of their bags from the back. He hands Harry’s off to him and heads straight for the big front door. He knocks twice before pushing right on through. Harry only realizes that he’s been left behind when Louis pokes his out of the door and yells for him to hurry up.

 

By the time Harry catches up to him Louis is already being attacked with hugs from so many people that Harry has trouble keeping track of them all. He feels a bit out of place amongst the various declarations of merry Christmases and happy birthdays until Louis’ mother notices him standing there and pulls him into a warm embrace too.

 

“Hello, Harry! I’m Jay. I’m so glad you’re both here. You have no idea how nice it is to finally meet you!”

 

“It’s nice to meet you too,” he says, laughing because she hugs even tighter than her son does. “Thank you for letting me spend the holidays here, Jay. Your home is so beautiful,” he tells her, realizing that he is now just as in love with the interior of the home as he is the exterior. 

 

“Of course, dear. You’re welcome here anytime at all,” she assures him. “And, thank you about the house, although I can’t really take credit for it. I always tell people that compliment should really go to Louis. He’s the one responsible for all of this.”

 

Louis hears his name, rolling his eyes from where he was just hugging the eldest set of twins hello. “I’ve told you a million times that this isn’t my house, mum. Harry, don’t listen to her.”

 

“Well, it kind of is. You picked it out and bought it,” his mother points out, pulling her son in for another long embrace and a wet kiss against his cheek as well.

 

“Yeah, as a gift for you and the kids,” he mumbles, but his mother pays him no mind, smacking another big kiss to his forehead and then stepping back to introduce Harry to the rest of her children.

 

Harry has heard all of their names a thousand times from Louis and all of his stories about them, but he still struggles trying to remember who’s who. The tiniest ones are easy. They’re toddlers but even though they’re twins, they’re not identical. The other girls are the issue. Their ages all vary from about twelve to eighteen, but they look so much like their mother that it’s hard to tell them apart. The set of identical twins make Harry’s head hurt.

 

“Where’s the puppy? Is he still in the car?” his eldest sister asks. Lottie, he’s pretty sure.

 

“Er- No. He’s actually with a friend from work. Josh and his girlfriend have a puppy too, so Duke fits right in for a few days while we’re gone.”

 

“But you said you were going to bring him,” one of the younger ones complains.

 

“Well, I was, but Harry and I aren’t staying here the whole time. We’re going to Holmes Chapel also. Don’t you think it would’ve been unfair to make Duke spend that long in a car?” His sister, Phoebe, Harry thinks, looks slightly less disappointed after a few seconds of thinking it over.

 

“Okay. It wouldn’t be very fair,” she admits, but looks no less disappointed.

 

“And plus, if I brought Duke and all of his things along like you wanted then I’d have no room in the car for any of your _presents_ ,” Louis adds; _bribes_.

 

Phoebe smiles at her twin sister as Harry watches the rest of them adopt a similar twinkle in their eyes. Louis isn’t lying about not having room in the car. The boot is nearly weighed down from all the shopping he’s been doing. It took them half an hour this morning just to get the gifts stuffed in there so the top would close.

 

“Okay, fine!” she beams. “I can forgive you for not bringing Duke if there are presents! Oooh! Maybe one of them will even be a puppy!” she exclaims.

 

“Mmhmm. Yeah, sure, definitely not,” Louis says under his breath as she and the rest of the clan dismiss themselves from the entryway, all of them speculating about what Louis got them. He waits until they’re far enough away before he turns to Harry in disbelief. “A fucking _puppy_? If she hates the gift that I actually got her I guess we can always give her Duke. They probably deserve each other,” he jokes.

 

Harry chuckles along with him. He almost tells Louis that he can’t give away their puppy because they’d miss him too much. It takes a full minute for Harry to remember that he doesn’t actually _live_ with Louis or own his dog, and therefore has no say in the matter whatsoever. He frowns to himself as he follows Louis up the stairs, wishing that he did have some kind of say.

 

*

 

“Lotts, I really love what you’ve done to your hair. Is that a new color?”

 

Lottie glances up from her phone to suspiciously narrow her eyes at her older brother. “Thanks. And yes, I did go a bit lighter.”

 

“Well, it looks _wonderful_. Ace, really. It’s so lush and bold and rich and-”

 

“What do you want?” she cuts in to Harry’s disappointment. He wanted to see how many more adjectives Louis could come up with on the fly.

 

“So, the cupcakes in the kitchen that mum won’t let me near…” he begins.

 

“No.”

 

“Fine then,” Louis huffs. His gaze lands on one the twins where they’re half on top of one another on the sofa. “So, Daisy-”

 

“Nope,” she answers without even looking up.

 

“Ugh. _Fine_. Be that way,” he spits. “…Hey, Phoebs?”

 

“Not gonna happen, bro,” she says before he even finishes saying her name.

 

Felicite glances up from her phone before Louis can even start. “Don’t even try it,” she tells him. “Though, I could be motivated to _consider_ helping you for a certain price.” Louis scoffs at that and then groans when he realizes his last two options for smuggling birthday cupcakes out of the kitchen for him aren’t even tall enough to see over the countertop. Harry only lets him pout for a few seconds before standing up to save the day.

 

“I’ll go.”

 

“Yes! Thank you! At least someone here honors birthday law,” he says, glaring daggers at all of his sisters. Harry isn’t even out of the room before one of them kindly reminds the room that Louis’ birthday isn’t even until tomorrow.

 

Harry enters the kitchen and does a quick sweep of the countertops. He passes by the ingredients for the chocolate cake that Louis’ mother is going to bake for Christmas Day. He can’t wait.

 

Next, he comes to a large, rectangular container that looks big enough to hold a bunch of cupcakes. Harry lifts the top and finds exactly twenty-seven of them, each with a single candle stuck in the center of the frosting.

 

He grabs one from the back hoping it’ll go unnoticed and then panics because it’s obvious that one is missing. He rearranges the cupcakes that are left so that they fill the empty space and prays that Jay won’t realize something looks weird, but before he can turn to leave the scene of the crime someone’s amused voice makes him freeze.

 

“So, you were the weak link this year, huh?”

 

Harry pales as he turns to watch Louis’ mother enter the room. He tries to hide the stolen cupcake behind his back, but figures it’s useless since she’s already caught him sneaking around. “Er- _This_ year?” Harry asks.

 

“Oh, yes, love. Last year it was Daisy. The year before that it is was Fizz. They’ve both gotten older and wiser since then and unfortunately for Louis the babies aren’t old enough to be coerced yet, so the job now falls to you,” she laughs.

 

“An illegal cupcake isn’t asking too much from me,” Harry smiles. “I don’t mind taking the heat for him.”

 

Jay seems to find something about that funny as she chuckles to herself. She puts herself back to work at the stove, a small grin on her lips each time she glances at Harry standing there completely useless.

 

“He talks about you a lot, you know? More than anyone.”

 

The flush in his cheeks rises even quicker than it did the night that Zayn told him the same thing. “Yeah. I- I know,” he says this time rather than the night he told Zayn he was fucking crazy.

 

“My son thinks the world of you. He says you’re the best person he’s ever known.”

 

Harry is beyond flattered, but he doesn’t think he actually deserves the title. It should go to Louis without a doubt.

 

“No. _He’s_ the amazing one. His heart is _so_ big. Like, I had no idea he bought this house. It’s gorgeous.”

 

“It is,” she smiles. “We never had a lot of money when he was younger. We moved around a lot, going wherever rent was the cheapest. He and Zayn got their first big payoff shortly after they started working together and the first thing he did was come home, convince me to get into the beat-up car he used to have, and drive me through this neighborhood that we could never afford to live in. I couldn’t figure out why he’d driven us to this big, beautiful house and then he dug a set of keys out of his pocket and said it belonged to me. I tried to give it back obviously. It was too big of a gift and at the time, he hadn’t even bought himself a place to live yet, but you know how he is. Mr. Stubborn wouldn’t hear of it.”

 

Harry does know. If it weren’t for Louis’ blatant stubbornness Harry would probably still be shivering beneath a bridge or worse.

 

“See,” Harry grins, loving that Louis’ mother just confirmed everything he already knew about him. “Amazing.”

 

It’s later that night when Harry hears a visitor push open the door to his guestroom. Louis creeps in claiming that his room here is too quiet without Duke pawing around. Harry grins when Louis climbs between the sheets without any other preamble than that. They haven’t been alone together since they got here. They are so used to it being just the two of them that Harry actually misses all of that private time so he doesn’t complain about the random visit.

 

“So, why aren’t you asleep?” Louis asks.

 

That’s a good question. Harry was exhausted earlier and figured he’d fall right to sleep with no problem.

 

“Not sure,” he answers. “Though it’s a good thing I’m not sleeping yet. Then there would be no one here to keep you entertained at a quarter past midnight.”

 

“This house is full of other options, Styles. I could’ve woken up anybody,” he smirks.

 

And yes, he could have, except he didn’t.

 

“You missed me. Just say it,” he needles. Harry definitely missed _him_. He had thought about sneaking into Louis’ room just a few minutes before Louis slipped through his door.

 

“Gosh, Harry. I can’t say that. My mother taught me not to lie,” he frowns.

 

Harry uses his big toe to poke Louis in the shin. He’s such an idiot. He’s so incredible.

 

“ _Admit it_ …” Harry warns. “Or I’m not sneaking you anymore cupcakes.”

 

“That’s fine,” Louis shrugs. “It’s technically my birthday now anyway. I get to eat all the cupcakes I want,” he brags.

 

Harry fondly rolls his eyes and then closes them after a while of Louis smirking at him like a child. He finally feels ready to try and get some sleep now that Louis’ gone quiet, but he can hear Louis shuffling around next to him and then out of nowhere a pair of soft lips land on his.

 

“I _did_ miss you,” Louis whispers. “Now, shut up about it.”

 

Harry cracks his eyes open to watch Louis settle back down next to him once and for all, his cheeks a soft pink in the dark and his lips stretched in a grin that he thinks no one else can see. _Amazing_.

 

*

 

The next day at lunch Harry, Zayn, and Louis’ entire family sing him happy birthday around the table. He looks so incredibly happy when he takes a breath deep enough to blow out the candles of what remains of his birthday cupcakes; all twenty-four of them.

 

“So, Lou, when are you two taking off for Holmes Chapel?” Jay asks as they all dig into dessert. Harry feels his stomach knot up at her question. He’s gotten so comfortable here that he nearly forgot that their stay is only temporary. He still has no clue what he’s supposed to say to Gemma after all this time. He didn’t even explain who Louis is. It just felt like too much to go into all at once.

 

“Tomorrow evening probably. We’d like to split Christmas Day equally. Half of it spent here and the other half spent with Harry’s family.”

 

Jay nods in understanding, taking the news much better than Harry would’ve expected. “And when are you boys heading back to the studio?” she asks, now turning to Zayn who has cake all over his mouth and fingers.

 

“We had said Monday originally, but we’re not in any rush to get back,” Zayn answers. “Maybe we can squeeze one more day out of the break before we have to go back to work. I’m sure no one from the office would complain,” he grins.

 

“Do you work there too?”

 

Harry blinks up from his plate when no one immediately answers Phoebe’s question. He’s surprised and caught off guard when he realizes her question was directed at him.

 

“Oh, um…no. I just started working at a café.”

 

“Oh. So, did you work with Louis and Zayn before?” she asks.

 

He’s made it this far without having to give in-depth explanations about himself. He was hoping to make it the whole trip, but clearly he’s not getting off that easy.

 

“Um, no, not exactly,” he answers. “I, uh, didn’t have anywhere to live for a little while, so it was kind of hard for me to keep my other job...”

 

Harry feels every pair of eyes in the room on him. Maybe he should’ve just lied to her.

 

“Does that mean you were homeless?” she asks innocently once Harry’s words have had time to sink in. His chest feels incredibly tight as she blinks at him with her big blue eyes that are almost identical to her brother’s.

 

“Yeah, Phoebe. I was…” he tells her and the rest of the people in the room.

 

He holds his breath, feeling lightheaded by the time someone finally says something.

 

“And aren’t we so lucky to have him here with us?”

 

Harry releases the breath he was holding when Phoebe and everyone else nods in agreement with Jay. He takes a quick peek around the table finding no one gawking or wearing expressions of discomfort like he thought they might. The only person who’s even looking at him at all is Louis, bright eyed and wearing a grin so proud that Harry has to duck his head to hide his smile.

 

That wasn’t so bad.

 

*

 

It’s complete chaos the next morning when everyone converges on the single tree that manages to stay standing with all the Tomlinson’s attacking at once. The smallest set of twins are the easiest to placate. Jay simply hands them each a present and lets them struggle to open it until they finally rip off all the wrapping. The older girls aren’t too hard to manage either since they can read and are able to locate their own gifts as well as carefully distribute gifts to others. Louis, as it turns out, is the one causing the most problems as he barges in, huffing and sighing as he searches for one present in particular in the ocean of gift boxes spilling out from beneath the tree. The living room is insane. Christmas morning looks like a bomb hit it and Harry loves every second of it because Christmas was always an orderly occasion at his house.

 

“Louis. What exactly are you looking for again?” Lottie asks when she tosses Louis another gift with his name on it and he brushes it to the side. He hasn’t opened a single present yet. He’s been too focused on whatever it is he can’t find. It must be important to him though if he’s ignoring the mountain of unopened boxes piling up next to him.

 

“I need Harry’s gift from me. I put it under here last night and now it’s buried underneath all this other junk.”

 

Harry glances down at the gifts he’s already received; one gift each from Jay, Liam, and Niall, and then two expensive gifts from Zayn that Harry never wants to see the receipts for. Harry has plenty. He doesn’t need anymore.

 

“Lou, it’s okay if it’s not there. I don’t really nee-”

 

“FOUND IT!” Louis shouts out of nowhere. He crawls from under the tree with a thin box so small that it fits in the palm of his hand. It’s no wonder he couldn’t fucking find it.

 

“You didn’t have to get me anything, Lou, but thanks,” he says when Louis hands it to him with his eyes all lit up like the lights around the tree.

 

“Open it,” he demands, earning himself a nudge from his mother who hears and tells him to stop being so bossy. He looks so eager that Harry hurries to do what he asked.

 

It doesn’t take long to rid the tiny box of its wrapping paper. Harry lets it fall to the floor along with all the rest and carefully takes off the lid. He pulls out a sparkly golden card with his name engraved on the front of it and his heart stops for a beat because it looks like a credit card of some kind, but he reads the rest of the tiny print and breathes a bit easier realizing it’s a card for the expensive bakery near Louis’ flat. What Louis has given him is a voucher for a free slice of double chocolate cake with the expiration date engraved on the bottom as ‘ _for all time_ ’. Harry meets Louis’ eyes and burst out laughing so hard that everyone in the room stops to stare at the two of them.

 

“You got me free chocolate cake? For _life_?”

 

“ _Maybe_ ,” Louis laughs. “Okay, _yes_ , but I’ll have you know that this card is absolutely exclusive. You’re the only person in the entire world with a gold card for Pâtisseries D'or. It’s one of a kind, Harold. Just like you,” he winks.

 

Harry snorts a laugh and looks at his gift again wondering how much trouble Louis had to go through just to get this dumb thing made. He knows it was way more expensive than the light blue sweater that Harry got Louis for Christmas even though Louis practically forbade him from spending money on him. He can’t wait for Louis to open it up and put it on.

 

“Thank you, Louis. Every day while I’m getting fat off of free, decadent, gourmet dessert for breakfast I’ll think of you and how crazy you must’ve looked negotiating this card to the shop owner.”

 

“That’s all I ask, and you’re quite welcome,” Louis tells him.

 

Harry shakes his head as he places the card back inside of the box for safe keeping.

 

He stops when he notices a folded up piece of paper at the bottom of it. It’s folded into a perfect square, so Harry knows it was put there intentionally. He waits until everybody else is distracted with their own gifts to read it.

 

‘ _Believe it or not, I actually got you a serious gift as well, but I didn’t want to give it to you in front of everyone. Rain check for later? –Lou’_

 

Harry carefully folds the piece of paper down and places it back in the box along with his glittery card. He doesn’t think anyone is paying him any attention but when he looks up he meets Louis’ eyes, a private grin on his lips as he mouths the word ‘ _later_.’

 

Louis’ grandparents come over around lunch time, making the Tomlinson household an even crazier place to be as more presents are brought in. Louis stays close to them, leaning into every hug and kiss that his grandparents offer when they all sit down around the tree again. Harry feels so warm just watching them.

 

He’s never had a big family. Even when his mother was alive, it was usually just him and Gemma. Their father had nothing to do with them for most of their lives, and all of Harry’s grandparents died before he was born or while he was too young to really know them. He knows that he’s only visiting here for a few days and he isn’t _actually_ a part of this family, but Louis and everyone else makes him wish that he could be.

 

“Come with me,” Louis whispers once he manages to slink away from his family. Only a few people notice when he takes Harry’s hand in his and leads them up the stairs to his bedroom.

 

“What are we doing up here?” Harry asks when Louis closes the door behind them. “You’re missing out on all the gifts.”

 

“There will still be plenty of time for me to be spoiled like a child by my grandparents, but _after_ I give you your gift,” he explains.

 

He starts digging through the main compartment of his bag which is a complete mess because he didn’t fold a single thing in it. Harry realizes he’s in for a bit of a wait so he takes a seat on the bed that Louis hasn’t slept in a single night since they’ve been here.

 

“This is really nice of you, Lou, but I really don’t need _two_ presents,” Harry says again, even though he knows trying to stop Louis from giving people things is like trying to stop the sun from shining.  One present from him was already more than Harry expected from someone who has already done so much.

 

After a minute or so of searching, Louis pulls a little box out from the depths of his bag. He takes a deep breath and slowly lets it out when he turns to face Harry with it clenched in his hand. The fact that he looks so nervous about whatever this is and wanted to do it in private puts Harry a bit on edge as well.

 

“So, I know you may not believe me since I’ve been shopping like a maniac for the past month, but I actually had a really hard time with deciding what to get you. I got you that cake card as a joke between us obviously, but I wanted to do something else; to give you something that you actually need and could always have, and this was the best I could come up with,” he explains in one long, nervous breath.

 

He grins when he’s done and places the tiny box in Harry’s hands. There is no gift wrap or fancy bow on the lid like all the other gifts downstairs so Harry simply lifts the top to reveal a set of new keys that make Harry’s eyes go wide, Jay’s story about the way she came to own the very house they’re standing in still very fresh in his mind.

 

“Louis. You didn’t,” he breathes, his heart pounding in his chest because there’s no way he could ever accept this. “Did you- Are these the keys to a _house_?”

 

Louis bites down on his bottom lip, no longer able to hold Harry’s gaze as he blinks down at his feet instead. “Um…kind of. They’re keys to a flat actually; to mine, more specifically,” he says once he’s able to meet his eyes again.

 

Harry’s pulse slows once Louis’ words register in his brain. He frowns though, wondering why Louis would make such a big deal out of something that Harry technically already has.

 

“But, Lou, you gave me the spare key to your flat forever ago.”

 

“Yeah, I know,” he sighs, “And- well, that’s just it. It was just a spare key because at the time you being there was all supposed to be temporary. And I know that for you it still is, but for me, well, it’s much bigger than that,” he whispers. “I was terrified the first night you stayed over that I’d wake up the next morning and find you gone with no way for me to find you again or make sure you were okay. These keys- they’re yours to have, Harry. Indefinitely. I know that you’re just getting back on your feet and I’m _so_ proud of you and happy that you no longer need help from me or anyone else, but even if you don’t technically need me anymore, I want you to know that you always have a place to go. No matter what, you always have a place to call home with me.”

 

Harry looks at his brand new set of keys and how much nicer they are than the old beat up one that’s currently stuffed into his wallet. At the time, that spare key was everything. It meant the difference between survival or him freezing or starving to death. Louis opened up his home to him until he could find one of his own and now he’s doing it again, but on such a larger scale. Harry doesn’t know what he did to deserve someone like Louis in his life, but he’s so, so glad to have him.

 

Harry closes the box and then watches as Louis takes another deep breath as he waits. Someone like Louis should never look so fearful and uncertain. He should smile every second of every day, so Harry cradles his face in his hands for a kiss so deep that Harry hopes feels like one hundred out of ten stars for him.

 

This man has been nothing but wonderful since the first time they ever unknowingly met. Harry meant it when he told Jay that her son is the best person he knows and he wants Louis to know it too. Harry hopes he can feel it in every slide of their lips, but just in case he can’t; in case he misses the fact that Harry is so thankful just to know him, he makes sure to tell him as well so there’s no doubt. “I love you, Louis. I love you so much,” he says, wondering how he made it this far without telling him that before.

 

Louis grins to himself when he leans up to press their lips together again.

 

“I love you too. You already know that I do,” he grins.

 

Besides his sister, Harry hasn’t heard those words from someone who actually means them in so long. Aiden told him that a couple of times, but Harry never felt it like he does with Louis smiling up at him. Nothing has ever felt as good as that.

 

-

 

It’s bitter-sweet when Louis is forced to say goodbye to all of his loved ones later that evening. It’s been lovely spending time with them after so long apart and Louis has enjoyed every second of it; even more so because Harry was with him. He promises to come back as soon as possible and to bring Duke with him next time. Louis bites down on his smile when hears Harry promising the girls that he’ll be back soon too.

 

“Alright, holiday road trip stop number one is officially done! Ready for stop number two?” Louis asks as he buckles himself into the driver’s seat. He let Harry drive up to settle his anxiety about meeting his family. He’s still a mess of nerves about seeing his sister and brother-in-law, but Louis is pretty sure driving to his hometown would only make it worse.

 

He glances over at Harry who’s all buckled in and slightly distracted by the phone he just turned on for the first time in three days. “Yeah,” he answers eventually. “I’m gonna text Gems now to let her know we’re...” Louis fondly rolls his eyes when Harry doesn’t even finish his sentence, his eyes still glued to the screen of his phone. Louis turns the ignition, ready to get them to Holmes Chapel when he glances over at Harry, still silent in the passenger’s seat with his face ghost-white.

 

“What’s wrong?” he asks, scared shitless because Harry’s face is such a strange mixture of emotions he’s never seen from him.

 

“I have eight missed calls from Community Outreach and even a text from the director,” Harry says.

 

He adjusts the angle of his phone so Louis can read along with him. Louis’ entire stomach drops before he even reads the message because he already knows what it says.

 

“You finally got into emergency housing,” he says after a quick glance at the text.

 

The air in his lungs dissipates, leaving him breathless like a kick to the chest. He makes sure the smile on his face is the brightest he’s ever worn when he swallows down the tight feeling winding its way around his throat.

 

“Harry, that’s _so_ great! That’s- That’s amazing. This is what you’ve been waiting for, Haz. Congratulations.”

 

Harry blinks up at him and his well-wishes with a torn expression.

 

“They said I have forty-eight hours to respond or my spot goes to the next person waiting.” Louis is aware. He read the text too. It doesn’t hurt any less the second time around.

 

“Yeah, I saw that. I guess you better hurry and answer them back. They sent that text yesterday morning. They might think you don’t want it if you wait too long.”

 

Harry holds his gaze for a long time. Louis wants to tell him not to go, but he has no right to do so. Harry has needed him for a lot of things in the past, but for right now all he needs is Louis’ love and his support. This isn’t a decision that he gets any say in even though it kills him to have to sit there and say nothing.

 

Eventually, Harry nods in agreement and Louis can feel the back of his throat stinging with tears. He allows Harry the time it takes to type out his reply and then cranks the car back up ready to drive for a couple of hours and pretend like this isn’t happening.  “Ready to go?” Louis checks again, but this time his heart isn’t really in it. He kind of just wants to go back inside and let his mother hold him until his hands stop shaking so much.

 

“Yeah, I’m ready,” Harry says as he finishes up his message. “But- could you please read over this first? Make sure it sounds right?” Harry hands him the phone and he kind of wants to throw it out of the window; no phone, no community outreach center ruining his fucking life.

 

Louis immediately feels guilty for even thinking that. Community outreach is a great resource for people in need. People just like Harry. Emergency housing is the first step to getting Harry back on his feet and into a place of his own. Louis should be happy for him. He _is_ happy for him.

 

He quickly scans over the text that Harry typed out and deems it appropriate. It takes his brain several seconds afterwards to realize that what he just read isn’t at all what he expected to see.

 

 _‘Hello and thank you so much for contacting me! I was very happy to learn that emergency housing has become available for me, however my current living situation makes it so that I am unqualified to accept. Please contact the person on the waiting list who has the greatest need for such a wonderful opportunity. Merry Christmas to you and your family, and thank you for everything. -Harry_.’

 

Louis looks up from the phone after reading over the message another ten thousand times just to make sure his eyes aren’t playing tricks on him.

 

“Really?” he asks even though Harry’s rejection message is plain as day on the screen. “You’re giving it up? Are you sure about this?”

 

Harry smiles at him and Louis can feel his eyes filling up with the tears he swore not to let fall.

 

“You said I always have a home with you, right?”

 

Louis closes his eyes, glad that he followed through with his gift idea after going back and forth about it for weeks. “Yeah, Haz. Always,” Louis breathes. “I said that. I _meant_ that.”

 

“I know you did,” Harry whispers as he reaches for the phone still clenched in Louis’ hand and hits send. He takes the phone back and grins as he types out a quick message to Gemma to let her know that they’re on the way and then leans in to capture Louis' lips in an unexpected, and yet completely appreciated kiss.

 

“ _Now_ , we’re ready to go,” Harry smiles, sliding his phone into his pocket so that it’s out of sight.

 

Louis wants to thank him. He wants to thank him for making this the best Christmas he’s ever had, but he’s afraid his voice will show the insane amount of relief that he’s feeling. He settles for holding Harry’s hand over the middle console instead and whispers a quick _I love you_ , hoping Harry knows that he means that too.

 

*

 

Harry falls asleep on the way there, but he wakes up almost as soon as they hit Holmes Chapel.

 

“Anything look familiar?” Louis grins.

 

“Yeah. Everything,” Harry answers, his eyes glued to the little town blurring past as they drive. He still seems on edge, but not quite as bad as he was before.

 

“How long has it been, love?” he asks, reaching for Harry’s hand and linking their fingers together.

 

“Not since my mum died. I left with Aiden once we got jobs and then, well… you know how that ended.”

 

Louis has only ever heard bits and pieces of what that arsehole did to Harry, but from what he gathers Aiden promised Harry’s dying mother that he’d take care of her son and then fucked him over by cheating on him, having his father fire him, and making it almost impossible for Harry to make it on his own without him. If Aiden were standing in front of Louis right now he wouldn’t hesitate to stomp on the fucking gas pedal.

 

“Are you okay?” Louis knows he’s probably being super annoying with all the questions, but he can’t help how much he worries. He hates for Harry to be anything but perfectly content and he knows that right now he isn’t.

 

“I’m alright,” he grins to reassure him. “I promise. I just- I don’t know what I’m supposed to say to my sister. I don’t want to lie to her any more than I already have,” he frowns.

 

“Then don’t,” Louis says simply.  

 

“I know. And I’m going to tell her the truth, I just don’t want her to hate me after I do.”

 

Louis thinks about his brother and all of his sisters and how much they all mean to him. He could never hate them no matter what they did or said and he knows they love him just as unconditionally. He doesn’t know Harry’s sister, but he’s sure she feels the same way about Harry. “She’ll be so happy to see you, Haz. You can start by telling her everything and then once it’s all out the rest of your time together can be spent forgetting the past. She’s your sister and she loves you, Harry. She could never ever hate you.” Harry looks mildly comforted by that, though he keeps a firm grip on Louis’ hand like just holding it makes him feel stronger.

 

They arrive at a small building of flats a few minutes later. Neither of them moves to get out of the car as Harry stares up at the windows lining the fourth floor.

 

“Do you want to go in by yourself first?” Louis asks when a full minute ticks by without Harry saying a word.

 

“What? Are you not coming with me?”

 

His green eyes grow wide with panic like Louis is about to send him into the lion’s den.

 

“Of course I will,” Louis tells him, grinning when Harry lets out a long, deep sigh of relief. “I was just trying to think of what might be the easiest thing for you. I’ll do whatever you want.”

 

No matter what, it’s going to be hard. Louis really wishes it didn’t have to be. Louis doesn’t expect it when Harry pulls him into a sudden, thankful kiss over the console.

 

“You’re amazing,” Harry tells him.

 

The praise makes Louis blush and smile like an idiot as he watches Harry build up the courage to finally get out of the car.

 

They climb the stairs together and Harry knocks on his sister’s door with what remains of his nerve. Louis figures Gemma must’ve been waiting close by or started running at a full sprint when she heard Harry knocking because the door swings open not even ten seconds later.

 

“YOU’RE HERE!” shouts a woman who looks so much like the man standing next to him that it’s scary. “Oh my God, you’re _here_! Like _actually, physically_ here!” Gemma laughs as she pulls her brother in for an embrace so tight that even Louis winces. She steps back once she’s done fussing over her little brother but she goes right back in for another big hug, her voice filled with a bit more emotion this time around as she rocks him back and forth. “God, I’ve missed you so much! I didn’t believe you at first when you said you were coming to visit, but- I’m so glad you proved me wrong.”

 

A man whom Louis assumes to be Harry’s brother-in-law laughs when he comes to stand in the doorway and sees Gemma literally clinging to Harry like he might disappear. “Alright Gems,” he chuckles. “Don’t suffocate the poor boy before I can say hello.” She steps back to allow David a chance to greet him, smiling as she wipes at her wet eyes.

 

“I’m being ridiculous. You know I don’t usually cry, David. I’m trying to hold it together, but I’m just so happy to see him,” she says, her right hand instinctively dropping to the little bump beneath her shirt.

 

Harry’s eyes follow the movement and he smiles to himself. It only lasts for a flicker of a second before an expression of immense guilt takes its place. Louis places a firm hand against the small of Harry’s back to let him know that he’s there for him. His movement doesn’t go unnoticed either, though. Gemma sees it and her gaze locks on him in an instant.

 

“And you must be the mysterious Louis,” she smiles. “I’m Gemma. It’s nice to meet you. I have no idea who you are, but you got my brother here for Christmas, so you’re already alright in my book,” she teases.

 

“Oh, I’m just a friend of Harry’s,” Louis smiles back. “And it’s nice to meet you too. I’ve heard so much about you.” They shake hands and it’s like their first ever interaction wakes Harry up from whatever he was just obsessing about in his head.

 

“He’s not,” Harry says all of a sudden.

 

Louis hadn’t realized just how quiet Harry had gotten. He hasn’t said a word since they left the car and he looks terrified to have just done so.

 

“Louis’ more than just my close friend,” he clarifies when everyone turns to look at him.

 

Gemma’s eyes go wide and they’re an exact copy of her brother’s whenever he hears something exciting. “Wait a minute. Is he your _boyfriend,_ Harry? Oh my God! You went and got yourself a new hot boyfriend and you didn’t tell me?!” she exclaims. “Congratulations!”

 

Being Harry’s boyfriend is news to Louis too, but it’s fucking wicked news. He nods to answer Gemma’s question when Harry doesn’t say yes or no. Louis will gladly take the boyfriend title. He’s wanted it for months, he just didn’t think he stood a chance in hell when he first started falling for him.

 

“Haz! What the hell?” Gemma laughs. “What else have you been keeping from me all this time? You’ve been gone a year. It’s like I don’t even know you anymore,” she scoffs.

 

Her words were harmless. They were a joke and everyone standing there knows it, but they must feel like a knives twisting in Harry’s gut from how quickly his eyes fill up with tears.

 

He steps closer to wrap his sister in another embrace, and all he manages to tell her is that he’s sorry before the dam breaks.

 

“Haz,” she breathes, cradling him close with alarm written all over her face. “Harry. Haz, what’s wrong? You know I didn’t actually mean that, right?”

 

Harry doesn’t stop clinging to her and Gemma looks to her husband and then to Louis for help. She doesn’t know what she did or said wrong and Louis doesn’t know what he’s supposed to say and what he’s not, so he waits for Harry to finally speak up, mumbling an apology into the side of her neck. “I’m so sorry,” he says, only for Gemma to hold him even tighter.

 

“For what? You’re scaring me, Harry. You have nothing to be sorry for, love.”

 

Harry quiets once Gemma assures him that whatever it is doesn’t matter. “I need to talk to you alone. I have to tell you…lots of things,” he sniffs.

 

Gemma nods, her eyes filled with the fear of uncertainty but she puts on a brave face. “Okay, then. We’ll go somewhere and talk,” she whispers, rubbing her brother’s back to soothe him. “You know you can always talk to me, love. You can tell me anything,” she promises.

 

He nods and takes a deep breath when Gemma takes his hand and ushers everybody inside the flat. Gemma starts walking towards a short corridor and Harry glances back at him with red rimmed eyes. Louis’ first instinct is to reach out for him because he looks so broken, but he’s already in good hands. It’ll be hard for Harry to sit down and share the horrors of the last year of his life with his sister, but it’s something that he has to do in order to move on. He needs to come clean if he’s ever going to stop feeling so guilty about it, so Louis offers him a grin of encouragement and mouths a silent _love you_ as he and Gemma leave the room.

 

*

 

Louis’ feet tap an impatient rhythm against the floor as he waits on the sofa with David. Harry’s brother-in-law has been forbidden from interrupting Harry and Gemma’s talk also, but he’s nowhere near as antsy about being banned as Louis is.

 

Louis has trouble staying in one place even under normal circumstances. Knowing Harry is hurting just a couple of rooms away makes his skin feel like it’s crawling. He and David have gotten to know each other pretty well over the past hour. He’s pretty good company, but Louis would still prefer to be stuck out here with Harry, his boyfriend now apparently. God, he hopes whatever he and Gemma are talking about is going well.

 

Another couple of minutes tick by without any word and then out of nowhere the sound of a door swinging open and slamming against the wall ricochets through the flat. Louis and David both stand up with wide eyes trying to figure out what the hell happened when Gemma comes storming into the living room on a mission.

 

“I’m driving to London to find that piece of shit and throwing him off the balcony of his stupid fucking flat that he wouldn’t even let my brother step foot in. I hope he burns in hell for what he did; I hope his fucking father rots with him.”

 

She heads towards the door like she’s going to leave out of it and David hurries to her side to catch her. She snatches away from him, the anger she’s feeling almost palpable in the tiny room. Louis has been there before. He has gotten so mad thinking about that prick Aiden that he’s devised up his own murder plan or two to get rid of him.

 

“Gemma,” Louis begins softly when she doesn’t listen to her husband. “I know you hate Aiden. Trust me. I’ve thought about killing him on multiple occasions, but you know you don’t want to actually hurt him. You’re just angry right now,” Louis says at the same time that David reminds her that most assassins aren’t four months pregnant. Gemma gives them a look that says she would murder him with her bare hands if she had the chance, pregnancy or not.

 

A few seconds pass and the light in her eyes is fiery as she pulls out of David’s grip again. Louis expects her to stay on the war path of locating her car keys, but she rushes over to Louis instead, falling into his arms as hot tears stream down her face and onto his shirt.

 

“He told me everything. How good you were to him; how good you _still_ are. I don’t know what made you see my brother and realize that he needed help, and I can’t thank you enough” she cries. “I feel sick when I think about what might’ve happened to him if he hadn’t found you. Thank you so much.”

 

People keep thanking him for taking care of Harry when he needed someone to be there for him, but looking after Harry was one of the easiest choices he’s ever made. They were meant to be in each other’s lives; Louis’ sure of it. It’s unfair that Harry had to go through so much shit. He shouldn’t have had to live life in the shadows like that, but Louis was going to find him regardless. He’ll always be there for him.

 

Gemma lets him go after thanking him nearly a hundred more times for saving her brother’s life. When she goes to apologize to David for acting so crazy Louis heads in the direction of where she came storming out from and finds Harry still sitting on her bed, his eyes red, but drying from the hour long confession he just made.

 

Louis presses a kiss against both of his damp cheeks when he comes to sit next to him and link their hands together.

 

“So?”

 

Harry grins at the door still stuck to the wall because the handle went through it. “She was livid,” he says even though Louis is well aware of that. “She’s mad and angry, but not at me. I think she really wants to hurt Aiden. I’m a little concerned about that.”

 

“Haz, your sister just put a hole in her own wall. I think it’s safe to say she’d commit murder and probably get away with it when it comes to you,” Louis smiles. Harry laughs. It’s the first one he’s let out since they left his mother’s house. His eyes are a bit too puffy at the moment to crinkle up the way Louis loves, but he still looks just a beautiful. “I’m proud of you, boyfriend,” he says, wiping at one of the drying tear stains on his shirt.

 

“Oh, God,” Harry groans. “I’m so sorry about that. I didn’t even warn you that was coming and then I just _said it._ ”

 

“I love surprises,” Louis shrugs. “Best one I’ve had in long time.” Harry rolls his eyes, but his grip tightens on Louis’ hand.

 

“So, it’s okay that I said that. It’s not too soon?”

 

“Well, according to Zayn we’ve been married for two months as it is. He’ll be thrilled to know we’ve taken the next logical step,” he jokes. Harry laughs again, pressing a kiss to the back of Louis’ hand. “No, love. It’s perfect timing,” Louis tells him leaning over to press a kiss to first Harry’s jaw and then his lips where Louis can feel him smiling the whole time.

 

*

 

Christmas at Gemma and David’s turns out to be amazing just as Louis predicted. It took a couple of hours but eventually Gemma calmed down enough to stop mentioning Aiden and how much she’d enjoy watching him choke on his own tongue. She never mentions the fact that Harry kept parts of his life a secret while he was living on the streets, but she does stop her little brother from apologizing every time he tries to do so.

 

She tells him she’s proud of him and that their mother would be too. She says that it’s all in the past and that she loves him no matter what, which is music to Louis’ ears because Harry needed to hear that from his big sister and not just him.

 

They leave two days later after spending their nights on Gemma and David’s pullout sofa because their guestroom has already begun its transformation into a nursery. They toss their bags into the back seat of the car and Louis hands the keys off to Harry, looking forward to the long ride ahead where they can be alone together.

 

They climb in on their respective sides and Harry gets to work setting the GPS on his phone while Louis settles into his seat. He smiles once he chooses their route back, angling the screen so he can see that Louis’ address- _their_ address-  has been changed and saved as home.

 

“How does it feel to finally be able to type _that_?” Louis grins over at him.

 

“As amazing as it feels to know that you live there with me,” he answers right away.

 

Louis feels his cheeks warm, unable to believe that Harry still has the ability to make him do that after all this time.


	6. Chapter 6

February

 

“I’m heading home!” Louis shouts across the corridor of his office. All Zayn does is glance up at him with a bored face.

 

“We know. It’s two whole minutes past six o‘clock and you haven’t witnessed Harry breathing since this morning. Bye. No one cares. Save me left overs if he cooked something good.”

 

Everything Harry cooks is delicious, but Zayn’s not getting any of it with that attitude. “Yeah, of course, Z. I’ll make sure to box up some yummy lasagna for you right after we finish eating.”

 

“Really?” he asks getting up from his desk to follow Louis to the main door. “You’ll save me some?”

 

“Well, I’ve been working late for the past three nights because of you, so I can’t make any promises. We’re having a quiet night in,” Louis grins.

 

“So, fucking indoors, then?”

 

“ _Yep._

 

“How romantic,” Zayn deadpans. “I wish I had a love like yours. I want to kick myself when I think of all the tender, marital bliss I’m missing out on by _not_ being you,” he grins.

 

His sarcasm does nothing but make Louis want to get home even faster. “Well, Z, as interesting as that was, I gotta go. Love you. Don’t work too late. Use a condom if you pull tonight,” he says as he slips through the door.

 

Due to traffic, it takes longer than expected for Louis to get home, but as soon as he arrives he drops his coat on the ground, kicks off his shoes, scoops Duke up, and lets his nose lead him to the kitchen. He enters the room and spots Harry at the counter, already plating up their food because he’s fucking amazing.

 

“Perfect timing yet again,” he says when he hears Louis come in.

 

Louis sets Duke back down on the floor to hug Harry hello from behind. He breathes in the fresh scent of his hair that’s still a little damp from his shower. Harry giggles when the tip of Louis’ cold nose moves from his hair down to the nape of his neck.

 

“Sorry I’m late.”

 

“You’re not. You’re actually here earlier than you have been.” Harry puts down everything he’s holding to turn around and pull Louis in by the waist. He tilts Louis’ chin up to the height of his lips and the Louis’ stomach comes alive in anticipation.

 

Zayn teases him for being so stupidly in love that he can’t go an entire workday without missing his boyfriend, but it’s true. Louis does miss him, and he does make it a priority these days to get his work done on time so that he can leave at a decent hour and spend his evenings with him, or in this case, his entire weekend with him.

 

Louis had been starving when he walked through the door and smelled all the food, but now that Harry’s mouth is on his all he feels are tiny butterflies fluttering around inside of his stomach. He hums against Harry’s lips and snakes his fingers into his damp curls as he moves to lean back against the counter. He tries to hop up on top of it to pull Harry between his legs, causing Harry to laugh when Louis pushes their food out of the way to make room for his arse.

 

“The food’s already getting cold,” Harry reminds him.

 

Louis sighs, hating to put an end to what they’re doing, but also not wanting all of Harry’s hard work with dinner to go to waste. “Alright, fine. You’re right,” he relents. “Food first.” Regretfully he lets Harry go, but he’s able to steal one more kiss from him before accepting his plate of food and following Harry to the sofa like a good boyfriend.

 

He settles down on his side of the sofa and grabs the remote because it’s his turn, but he doesn’t really care what they watch to be honest. He has a plate full of good food in his lap and the attention span of his dog because he and Harry haven’t had sex all week. He aimlessly flips through channels for a long time before settling on something he’s never even heard of. He takes a couple of bites of his food and glances over to find Harry grinning and already staring back at him.

 

“What?”

 

His question only makes Harry grin harder.

 

“Nothing,” he shrugs like always when Louis catches him doing that. “How was your day?”

 

Louis rolls his eyes, confident that Harry will never tell him why he looks at him like that sometimes.

 

“My day has been splendid since I managed to bust out of the studio before eight o’clock.” His best friend has been a pain in the arse for the last six weeks because the design contractor picked their studio to do the stupid Zombie game and Zayn has decided to care more about its deadline than anything else in the fucking world. “I told him I’d save him some food if there’s any left.”

 

“I made plenty,” Harry says. “I’ll put some up for him so you don’t forget.”

 

“See, this is why I love you so much,” Louis sighs before taking a few more bites of his food, loving the way Harry grins about it. “How was your day?” Louis asks.

 

“It was okay; _long_ ,” he says. “One guy didn’t call in to say he wasn’t going to show up so everyone was pretty busy today, but I can’t complain,” Harry shrugs. Louis has never once heard the boy complain about any aspect of his job _._ That job is important to him. He was so grateful to even get an interview for it in the first place that he’d never say anything against it, even if it’s not a job that he loves doing.

 

“I’m sorry your day was kind of rough,” Louis offers.

 

“Thanks, love, but it really wasn’t that bad,” he chuckles. “Honestly,” he promises. “I had a great day and it’s only getting better by the minute now that you’re here.” Harry puts his plate down on the coffee table, forgoing the last couple of bites he has left of his food. He grins when Louis easily relinquishes the grip on his own plate and allows Harry to pull him over his lap to straddle it.

 

He had wanted to drag more details out of Harry about his day at work, but he’s wanted to feel Harry’s hands on him like this since he left for work this morning. Louis’ knees dig into the sofa cushion as he scoots forward to deepen their kiss, need from a week of being too tired to go any further than this curling in Louis’ belly.

 

“I missed you,” he breathes as Harry’s warm mouth moves to his neck. The scraping of his teeth against it and the warmth of his tongue is such an overwhelming sensation that he’s sure Harry can feel his pulse racing beneath his skin.

 

“I missed you more. You’re done eating, right?” Harry asks. All Louis can do is nod as Harry’s hands travel the length of his waist and span around his hips.

 

His senses are so overloaded by Harry that food is the absolute last thing on Louis’ mind. “Yeah, I’m done. Are-Are you?”

 

Harry sucks a mark into his collarbone in answer, his fingers playing with the bottom hem of Louis’ shirt. Louis tilts his head back further to allow Harry the space to do whatever he wants with him. The next thing he feels is the slow dig of Harry’s teeth into his skin and one of his large hands feeling out the shape of him already hardening up. Louis feels restrained as he ruts down against his lap and the small amount of contact he’s getting through his clothes isn’t nearly enough.

 

It takes all of his will to pull away from Harry, but eventually Louis manages to slide off of his lap. Harry’s mouth is on his as soon they both stand up, leaving their phones, the food, and their dog as they head for the bedroom.

 

Harry shuts the door behind them when they get there and lays back on the bed, pulling Louis along with him. Louis straddles his narrow hips, bending down low enough to push Harry’s shirt up to his chest and leave cherry-red marks along his skin. He grins to himself when Harry gasps from one bruise that Louis sets deep into the flesh over his right hip. “Did I hurt you?”

 

He glances up to see Harry nodding with his bottom lip caught between his teeth. “Yeah, a bit,” he breathes. “Do it again,” he begs, letting out a low hiss when Louis gives his left hip the same treatment. He likes Harry’s reaction so much that he slides down his legs and pulls his bottoms down enough to pull at the dark hairs that lead further down. “ _Shit_ ,” he gasps, unconsciously pushing Louis’ head lower when he rests his hands in his hair.

 

Louis loves his boyfriend when he gets this way. Harry doesn’t ask for much from him in their day-to-day lives. He’s usually too shy for that, but that all changes when he’s faced with the prospect of having Louis’ mouth on him.

 

The two of them were so scared of losing the other in the beginning of their friendship that they danced around their true feelings for months before they even shared their first kiss. Sex with Harry was something Louis tried to not think about since he figured Harry would never want that with him, but now that they’re together, now that he gets to be with Harry this way, sex with him is pretty much all he thinks about.

 

He doesn’t tease him long; just enough to see Harry’s shaky hands fly up to grip the pillow beneath his head to keep from pulling Louis’ hair too hard. “Fuck, that feels amazing,” he sighs when Louis finally takes him into his mouth. One of his hands drops back down to rest in Louis’ hair as he moves his mouth up and down his length.

 

He changes his pace according to Harry’s breaths and soon his grip is so tight in Louis’ hair that his scalp stings, but Louis doesn’t dare tell him to let go. He has every intention of making Harry come right down his throat as he speeds up. They have the time for multiple rounds. They have to be up early in the morning for volunteering of course, but it’s not like they’re on any time limit so he’s surprised when Harry musters up the will power to gently push him away when he starts getting too close to the edge.

 

He catches his breath for few moments before he pulls Louis up his body and then guides him to lie back on the bed. Harry hovers over him for long kiss that leaves Louis impatient and hot as he tries to take off his clothes that make him feel like he’s burning up from the inside out.

 

Harry sits back to help him, first removing Louis’ shirt and then everything from the waist down. Harry takes off his own clothes when he stands to get their lube out of the bedside table and Louis takes a moment to appreciate all the hard lines of his boyfriend’s tall frame. He remembers a time when Harry was so anxious and meek that he used to hunch in on himself to hide from other people’s sight. He used to do that at St. Mary’s, creeping into the church with his head and shoulders slouched down in an effort to not be seen, but tonight, Harry is worlds away from the person he was back then. He’s strong and captivating and even more beautiful than the first time he ever saw Harry smile, and Louis can’t take his eyes off of him.

 

“What?”

 

Harry’s question only makes Louis grin as Harry climbs back on the bed to be with him.

 

“Oh, nothing,” Louis answers, even though he still can’t wipe the grin off of his face. Harry narrows his eyes at him in suspicion before pinching him on the thigh in retaliation for being so secretive. His attack only makes Louis laugh and squirm to get away. Harry doesn’t let him get too far of course. He holds Louis still with one hand resting against his lower stomach as he kneels between Louis’ legs.

 

The laughter on Louis’ lips fades when Harry starts by kissing warm trails down his thighs. It tickles a bit, especially when Harry lightly sucks at his skin, but then he uncaps the lube and drizzles some over his first two fingers and the small smile he had been holding onto falls right off of his face as Harry works his fingers inside of him. Louis bites down on his bottom lip, his fists clenched at the sheets when Harry pauses his movements after a while to add another finger. The stretch is nearly undetectable as Harry wraps his mouth around his length at the same time.

 

Louis sucks in a sharp breath and slowly lets it out alongside an involuntary moan when Harry twists his fingers inside of him, the amount of attention that Harry is lavishing on him, treading the line of almost being too much, but in a way that curls his toes and ignites the pit of his stomach.

 

“Getting close,” he chokes out when he can feel his control dwindling down to nothing.

 

Harry slows to a stop, swallowing around Louis one more time just to hear his very vocal reaction. He sits up and grabs the bottle of lube again, coating himself, already so hard that he’s flushed and leaking at the tip. He drops the bottle off the side of the bed and pushes Louis’ legs back to make room for himself. That burning feeling at the pit of Louis’ stomach returns when Harry leans down over him for a wet kiss and he tastes himself on his tongue.

 

He’s so distracted by Harry’s mouth that he doesn’t realize that Harry has lined himself up until he pushes his hips forward and starts gently sliding into him. There’s little resistance, their mouths falling open from the change in stretch and pressure as they adjust. The stinging sensation that Louis feels where they’re connected only lasts a few seconds before Harry rolls his hips into him.

 

Their bodies work together as Harry starts moving. Louis moves his curls out of the way to meet his eyes, finding them as green and alive as ever. There’s a bit of a smile visible on Harry’s lips as he watches Louis watching him.

 

“I love you,” he breathes, watching as Harry’s eyes briefly flutter shut. Louis tells him that all the time loving what the admission does to him. Sometimes he just rolls his eyes and says it back only after Louis tickles it out of him. Other times Harry ducks his head and blushes like he still doesn’t quite believe it’s true, but tonight his eyes say that he knows he has every bit of his heart. “I _love_ you,” Louis says again, getting rocked back and forth by Harry’s steady thrusts. He doesn’t receive a verbal reply, just Harry’s mouth on his, desperate and so tender that Louis’ breath catches in his throat.

 

Louis’ close, he was near the edge when Harry was just opening him up, and he gets there again within a few minutes. He tightens his grip around Harry’s shoulders, the muscles of his thighs shaking from the effort of keeping them up around Harry’s hips.

 

Harry’s lips find his again, warm and urgent when he tells Louis he’s about to come. Louis nods and holds on, holding onto Harry’s gaze the best that he can when he rests their foreheads together. Harry pushes them over together with a sharp inhale, his thrusts coming to a slow stop as Louis’ grip loosens from around his shoulders and his legs fall away from his hips. Harry lies there breathless, draped between Louis’ legs, leaving soft kisses along every inch of his skin that he can reach with his mouth.

 

“I love you too,” Harry finally says back now that he’s able. Louis grins into the sweet kiss that Harry presses to his lips because Harry didn’t really have to say it back; Louis already knew.

 

They curl up in bed after a hot shower together, watching some movie that Harry picked. Louis draws little circular patterns across his bare chest, not really paying attention to the film as Harry gently cards through his damp hair. His mind is still on the conversation they didn’t get to finish from earlier.

 

“If you could do any job in the world what would you choose?” he asks all of a sudden.

 

Harry stops playing with his hair to grin down at Louis where he’s resting against his chest. “I don’t know,” he says, resuming his carding. “I’ve never really thought about it before. What about you?”

 

Louis likes his current job. He has wanted to design games for as long as he can remember and luckily so did his best friend. He gripes and complains when he has to stay late or something doesn’t go their way, but he doesn’t mean it. He realizes how very lucky he is. “I really love what I’m doing right now,” he says.  

 

Harry grins at him again and presses a kiss to his forehead. “I know you do, love. That’s great.” He turns his attention back to the movie, but Louis isn’t quite finished.

 

“What about you and your job, Haz? You know that I’m proud of you no matter what, and I know you like working there, but do you love it?”

 

Louis brags about Harry to everyone that he knows so much so that they usually start begging him to shut up after a while. He means it when he says he’s proud of him and of his current job. Harry pulled himself out of such a dark place. He thanks Louis for helping him, but the truth is that Harry did most of that on his own. He’s so bathed in light right now that everything about him shines. He could do anything; Louis just wants to make sure that he’s aware of that.

 

“I really loved it at the bakery I used to work at before my mum died,” he says after a long, thoughtful pause.

 

Louis sits up to look him in the eyes. He didn’t even know Harry used to be a baker.

 

“Wait. You worked at a _bakery_?” he grins, loving the image of him covered in streaks of flour from head to toe. “For how long?”

 

“Not long. Almost two years, and it was fun, but then my mum got sick and when she died I didn’t have a lot of choices. Gemma was already living with David and I couldn’t afford to keep my mother’s house on my own with my part-time salary there, so I moved in with Aiden and took the better job that his father was offering us here.”

 

“Did you like that as much as the bakery?”

 

“No, not really. I made more money at the communications office so that was nice, but I kind of just sat at a desk all day. I liked the bakery better because I could be creative and I got to talk to people who came in to buy things. I missed those aspects of my job,” he admits.

 

There’s so much fondness in his voice that Louis wishes he could’ve gone to that bakery and seen him in action. No wonder he used to look so nostalgic when St. Mary’s served chocolate cake. He probably used to fantasize about being back there. It sounds like one of the happiest times in his life. Louis is sure he would go back if he could.

 

“So, how do you feel about the job you have now?”

 

Harry gives his question some thought before answering him. He looks contrite for a moment like his response might not be one-hundred percent positive, but he doesn’t dare follow-through with saying it.

 

“I get to talk to the customers sometimes, so I like that part of it.”

 

Louis doesn’t see even a trace of the happiness Harry just displayed about his life working at the bakery. Harry is such a warm-hearted, friendly person by nature that a job like that seems perfect for him. Louis wishes he could still have it.

 

“Would you give baking another try if you could go back?” Louis asks.

 

Harry’s eyes turn nostalgic like he’d go back right this moment, but then he smiles and leans over to kiss both of Louis’ cheeks. “Mrs. Jones’ bakery is all the way in Holmes Chapel,” he says. “I was really, really happy there, but I’m just as happy here with you too,” he assures him.

 

He waits until Louis nods in understanding and then slowly presses their lips together. Louis melts into him, believing Harry without question when he says that he’s content for now; Louis just doesn’t think that should be the ending chapter of his story.

 

*

 

It’s a week later when Louis steps out onto the street after his update meeting with the Zombie game contractor. He was already annoyed because Zayn made him wear _real_ clothes when he got to the office this morning ( _you look like you’re about to tag the side of a building, Louis. Find a shirt with a bloody collar on it_ ), and now that he’s ready to go back to the studio, every taxi that passes is already full.

 

It’s not like it’s a long walk from here to the studio. It would probably only take about twenty minutes, so instead of waiting around for an empty cab he starts walking instead.

 

He doesn’t come this way very often, and when he does he’s usually texting in the backseat of a taxi so he misses everything going on around him. This part of the city is just as nice as the area Louis works in. There’s new shops and restaurants popping up all of the time, but Louis never has the time to go in them. He remembers catching a glimpse of some new sushi place a few months ago that he thought might be nice to try. Today would be a good day for it, so he turns down the street that it’s on, his stomach grumbling, because he hasn’t had sushi in forever.

 

Louis sighs when he comes to a vacant shop with a forgotten _Hatsuhana Sushi_ sign hanging next to the door that’s standing wide open, with no appetizing scent coming out of it. There’s a little yellow notice stuck to the glass of the door as well with a phone number for the owner of the building. Sushi is no longer served here, but Louis guesses that something else is from the room full of interested buyers all milling about inside.

 

Louis walks in uninvited, but he’s dressed nicely today so he fits in. He wanders around the shop that’s too small for the type of upscale restaurant it attempted to be. It’s an open space with wall sized windows up front and two large glass cases near the back where he assumes all the sushi used to be displayed. There isn’t really anywhere to sit in the main floor area. All of the seating is against the walls in the form of uncomfortable-looking benches and super thin tables. There’s a narrow staircase towards the back of the shop that piques Louis’ interest when he sees it. He breaks away from the group to go check it out but a woman in a tall heels comes over to speak to him, putting a dent in his plans.

 

She’s the current owner, Louis quickly finds out as she rattles off all the features of the shop and asks if he’s interested. Louis tells her he’s just looking around, his attention still on the stairs leading up to the second level.

 

“What’s up there?”

 

“A few rooms we were planning to use for storage and office space, but we never got around to doing it before we had to close,” she explains. “That area could be transformed into whatever the new owner would like.”

 

Louis has no idea what Harry would do with a so much space as he looks around, but he knows without a doubt that he’d do a better job than this woman did. This place is clearly meant for pastries, not seafood.

 

*

 

He tricks Harry into coming out with him one night under the ruse of them having a date night. They do go out to dinner and to see a film, but afterwards Louis insists that they walk back to burn off the massive amount of food they ate.

 

Harry doesn’t oppose the idea. He grins and takes Louis’ hand reminding him that he loves taking walks with him.

 

Louis chooses a route home that has Harry giving him side-long glances out of the corner of his eye.

 

“Where are we going?” he asks when they turn down a street nowhere near where they live.

 

“Hmm? Oh, nowhere,” Louis grins. “We’re just taking the scenic route home.”

 

“Not going this way, we’re not,” Harry chuckles. “You forget that I’ve walked all through this city. I know it like the back of my hand. Where are we going?”

 

So much for trying to be sneaky, Louis thinks as they take another turn in the opposite direction of home and Harry suspiciously narrows his eyes at him.

 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Louis claims.

 

They arrive at the shop and Harry stares up at it, clearly amused. “Sushi sounds really great right now. Too bad it’s closed,” he laughs, peering into the dark building.

 

Louis digs a golden key out of his back pocket and turns it in the lock, loving the way Harry’s mouth snaps shut. “Where the hell did you get that?”

 

Louis flips the light switch on the inside, illuminating everything in a dim, crimson glow from the expensive light fixtures hanging above that someone thought would be a good idea.

 

Harry gawks at the big, empty room, looking more confused than ever.

 

“What are we doing in here?” he asks. “And where did you get that key? Please don’t tell me you’ve now gone and bought yourself a sushi restaurant,” he teases. He stops smiling when Louis doesn’t immediately answer. “Oh my God,” he gasps. “You did, didn’t you?”

 

Louis laughs, because he has a reputation for buying himself random shit that he doesn’t need, but he’d never do that.

 

“No,” he grins. “As cool as that would be, this shop isn’t for me. It’s for you,” he says, watching Harry’s eyes grow wide the way they always do when he thinks Louis has lost his mind.

 

“You _actually_ bought this place?! Louis, what the hell am I supposed to do with an entire sushi shop?”

 

He glances around at the expensive Asian-inspired décor with a lost expression.

                                                                                                                                        

“Well, it _used_ to be a sushi shop,” Louis points out. “And, I haven’t bought it. Not yet, anyway. I’ve only spoken with the owner a few times.”

 

Harry’s much more at ease after hearing that, but he continues to shake his head at the huge, vacant space they’re standing in.

 

“Louis, I see what you’re trying to do here, and I appreciate it _so_ much. Really, I’m so, so grateful, but I can’t let you just _buy_ something like this for me, Lou. This place is incredible and I love it and it’d make a wonderful bakery, but- I just can’t.”

 

Louis grabs his hands and kisses the back of each one, because yes, Harry _can_. He just doesn’t know it.

 

“Harry, you dislike your job,” he says softly. He goes to protest but Louis squeezes his hands to stop him. “It’s okay that you do. It’s also okay to say it out loud, Haz. No one thinks you’re being ungrateful or rude if you quit something you don’t have a passion for. You said you were happy at that bakery in Holmes Chapel. Well, you don’t have to give that up just because we live here. You can still love going to work every day. You can have that and so much more,” he tells him.

 

It’s not like Louis didn’t expect to have to work hard to sell this. There was a time when Harry couldn’t even accept an extra slice of cake from Louis without eyeing him with suspicion, but he’s more trusting now and he knows that Louis only does things like this for him because he loves him so, so much. Harry stares at him and at the shop they’re standing in for a long time before Louis finally sees his determination to refuse this shop melting out of his soft eyes.

 

He lets go of Louis’ hands to hold his face instead, pressing an appreciative, yet stubborn kiss to Louis’ lips.

 

“This is like a loan and I’m paying you back. I mean it,” he swears once he pulls away.

 

“Okay, love. Whatever you want,” Louis quickly agrees. He wouldn’t let Harry pay him for a slice of bread, but what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.

 

He pulls Harry back down to his level for a celebratory kiss, grinning when Harry hums into him.

 

“You own a bakery.”

 

Harry laughs and rolls his eyes at him. “Technically, it’s an abandoned sushi restaurant. And I don’t own it. You haven’t even bought it yet, remember?”

 

Louis digs the little golden key back out of his pocket and places it in Harry’s hand. “I may have lied just a teeny, tiny bit about that,” he says with a sheepish grin. “Congratulations, you’re a shop owner?”

 

Harry gives him a look of reprimand but just ends up grinning from ear to ear. “Come here,” he grabs Louis by the waist, bringing their lips together once more. “You’re impossible you know that right?” he laughs.

 

Louis just shrugs, unable to stop his smile when Harry thanks him, kisses him on the cheek, and starts walking around to check out his new property. Louis can’t wait to see what he does with it.

 

*

 

August

 

“Hey, Ni?” Louis calls, poking his head through the kitchen cut-out in the wall. “Can you do some more strawberry turnovers and apple turnovers pretty, pretty please? We’re almost out up here.”

 

Louis smiles big and wide when Niall gives him a flat face from the kitchen.

 

“I literally just made some turnovers like two hours ago.”

 

“Well, we’re almost sold out again. Stop being so good at making them and customers would stop buying them all,” he laughs.

 

“I think you’re up there _eating_ them all. We don’t run out this fast when you’re not here,” Niall mutters before taking out the flour and asking a couple of his kitchen staff to prep some more strawberry and apple filling. Louis is only here for a couple of hours at a time during the weekend, usually right after he’s done at St. Mary’s. He’s a good worker when he’s here helping out and doesn’t actually eat everything in sight like Niall suspects.

 

It’s not his fault that Harry’s turnovers are so popular.

 

“Thank you!” Louis beams, once everybody inside goes back to what they were working on.

 

He rests his hands on the countertop trying to remember what he was just doing before he filled the last order and realized their best-selling item was nearly gone again. By the time he glances up at the order screen again there are already two more orders waiting place of the one he just filled. They’ve been busy like this since before Louis got here.

 

“ _Thank you_ ,” he hears Harry say to his latest customer at the register. “Sit anywhere you’d like and someone will be out with your order in just a few minutes,” he promises.  

 

Louis glances over his shoulder to watch Harry greet his next few customers. He sounds a little tired. He must be since he got up so early to get here and open the shop this morning, but he sounds _happy_ , which is Louis’ greatest concern.

 

He loves his job again, being named one of the best up and coming bakers in the city, now running his own business with the help of his friend Liam and the two of them are fucking amazing at it. Louis and his entire studio staff stop by for their lunch almost every day and sometimes the shop is so full that the line stretches past the door. This place gets more attention with Harry running it than it ever did with the previous owner.

 

Louis turns back to his orders, listening in each time someone new steps up to the register or gushes over how good everything in the display looks. Harry greets everybody who wanders into his shop with bright enthusiasm, except he cuts himself off from welcoming whoever just came in, stopping half-way through his usual greeting and breathing out a surprised, “ _Aiden_ ,” instead.

 

Hearing the name and the meek way that Harry just said it causes Louis to freeze and drop everything in his hands. He turns around and sure enough a tall, slightly handsome man with sandy-colored hair is standing there looking just as surprised as Harry.

 

He’s never met Aiden. He’s never seen a picture of him because Harry had to sell the phone that he used to have, but Louis has no doubt that this is the very same Aiden that he’s wanted to punch in the face for the last year.

 

Louis comes up next to Harry and places a warm hand at the small of his back. “I’ll take this order. This customer is _special_ ,” Louis says as he takes Harry’s place at the register. Louis stands there across from Harry’s ex, fuming because out of all the places Aiden could’ve gone for lunch today he was stupid enough to come here and stay.

 

“I’m Louis Tomlinson. Welcome to _Every Crumb_ , Aiden. What can I get for you?” he smiles.

 

Aiden seems wary about the cold bite in his tone and Louis must sound more threating than he thinks because almost everyone in the shop turns in his direction. For the first time, Aiden looks more than slightly uncomfortable like maybe he shouldn’t have stayed after he realized Harry worked here, but he doesn’t move away from the register.

 

He scans the menu overhead, his forehead crinkling up because he feels everyone pretending not to stare. “Um, can I get a strawberry turnover? And a large cup of coffee as well? No sugar.”

 

Louis stares at him for several beats before forcing a tight grin onto his face. “Sure. I’d be happy to get that for you, Aiden,” Louis tells him as he punches in the order. “Let me tell you a little bit about the owner while your order’s being filled,” he says before stepping away from the register to snatch a to-go bag from the back counter without even asking if he’d prefer to eat in.

 

“ _Every Crumb_ is a non-profit organization that donates sixty percent of its earnings to fund homeless charities and organizations within the city,” Louis says even though there’s a box of pamphlets and news headlines sitting right next to the register that details every bit of Harry’s generosity and success. “The owner, Harry Styles, has always felt that it’s important to give back and help the less fortunate, however his connection to the poor only grew stronger when his arsehole of an ex-boyfriend threw him out on the fucking street like a dog, leaving him with nothing and nowhere to turn. _Every Crumb_ is a place where the homeless who get fucked over by the people who claim to love them or overlooked by the housing system go so they can be fed and given shelter in the rooms on the top floor in exchange for working in the shop kitchen,” he spits, putting Aiden’s stupid strawberry turnover in the bag and slamming the back of the display case so hard that the glass shakes, dislodging the photograph of Gemma, David, and their three-month old son that Harry taped there. “Although Harry’s circumstances at the time were difficult, he overcame them all. None of this would be possible without his kindness, dedication, hard work, and the heartless fucking prick who almost ruined his entire life,” he says, “But I should thank that miserable piece of shit, because without him, I would never have met the love of mine.”

 

Louis slams the bag down in front of Aiden with more force than he meant to use, hurting his hand and destroying the last strawberry turnover they had in the process, but he doesn’t even care. He’s never been so angry in all of his life.

 

Aiden’s eyes are wide with shock and embarrassment as he steps back from the counter, finally getting the message that he isn’t welcome there. His gaze lands on Harry who hasn’t moved or said anything this entire time. Louis hopes Aiden realizes how much of a fucking idiot he is.

 

The shop is dead silent as Aiden catches the cold glare of every employee and customer in the shop who has come to love Harry and everything he’s built in just a few short months. He clears his throat and drops his gaze to the ground before turning away from the register and leaving through the front door without a single word.

 

He’s been gone a whole thirty seconds and Louis is still shaking with rage as the shop slowly starts coming back to life with low whispers. He glances over at Harry still standing off to the side with his green eyes swimming in unshed tears. Louis doesn’t know what to say, so he turns back to the order screen and resumes filling the order he was working on before hoping the repetition of it will calm him down. The inside of the shop is louder now after the shock of what just happened wears off, but Louis keeps working until he feels a tentative hand on his shoulder.

 

“Lou?” comes a soft voice that sounds just seconds away from breaking.

 

Louis stops what he’s doing to face his boyfriend who isn’t crying, but he looks like he’s just on the cusp of doing so. Louis has no reason why, but he feels like crying a bit too. He just told Aiden everything he’s ever dreamed of saying to him. He always thought it’d feel so good to get to do that, but he’s still so furious at him for what he did. Louis literally just mortified him in front of everyone and his anger didn’t diminish in the slightest; he doesn’t know if he’ll ever truly get rid of it.

 

“I’m sorry, Haz,” Louis says at the same time that Harry whispers a soft, ‘thank you’. Louis hangs his head with a long sigh. Suddenly, everything just feels so fucked. “I just disrupted everyone in your bakery to yell at someone who doesn’t even matter,” Louis shakes his head. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

 

“Yes, you should have.” Harry takes his hand in his, the first teardrop of many quietly rolling down his cheek. And, God. Louis didn’t mean to upset him. “I’m so glad that you did that for me, Louis, because I didn’t realize how angry I still am at Aiden and I wouldn’t have been able to do it.” Louis told Aiden those things for Harry because the fucker needed to hear it. He needed to know how his carelessness affected one of the most amazing people in this world, but Louis also did it a little bit for himself.

 

People start looking over at them again, so Louis asks Niall to come to the register and pulls Harry to the back staircase where they’re mostly out of sight. He sits them down on the bottom step and opens his arms for Harry to fall right into them. He’s too tall to fit the way that he should, but Louis holds him tight anyway, so, so thankful for him even when he’s a blubbering mess.

 

“I’m getting your shirt all wet. I’m sorry,” Harry sniffs after Louis kisses him regardless of the tears all over his face.

 

“I have plenty of shirts, love,” Louis grins. “Don’t worry about it,” he says, gently wiping the wet tracks from his cheeks.

 

Harry sighs once he calms down, his deep exhale pushing out every horrible feeling that built up inside of him within the last fifteen minutes.

 

“You told Aiden I’m the love of your life. God, his face was priceless,” he smiles once he straightens up, wiping at any remaining tears about him and the shit he put Harry through. It’s still obvious that he’s been crying, but he’s gorgeous all the same. He’s still amazing as ever.

 

“I did say that as kind of a final _fuck you_ ,” Louis confirms. “But only because it’s true and only because you are.”

 

Louis meant those words with every bit of his heart. Harry is everything to him and he’s never felt that with anyone else and he plans to hold onto it forever.

 

“You’re the love of mine too. I think that all the time,” he whispers. “Thank you for everything. For always being there even when I don’t know that I need you.”

 

Louis has told him a million times that he’ll always be there to fight for him. He makes it an uneven million and one when he says it again, hoping that this time it’ll sink in past those beautiful curls of his and he’ll believe it’s true.

 

“I will always be here for you, love. _Always._ ”

 


	7. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part two of LolaTommo's wonderful requests! The first ended up being so long that I broke up the prompts, but finally, here it is! Also, thank you so much for all of the wonderful feedback on part one <3

“What would you like me to do with this one?”

 

Harry glances over his shoulder at Liam and the medium sized box he’s holding up for his inspection. “Er- I don’t know. What’s in it?” Harry asks, unable to remember what the hell he packed in there.

 

Liam lifts the flaps of the box to peer inside and gives a dull, ‘ _Oh.’_

 

“Never mind. I think it’s just a bunch of old photographs. I’ll just sit them to the side so you can deal with them later,” he says.

 

Harry steps away from behind his desk where he was just hanging the framed version of his first ever interview featuring him as one of the most generous philanthropists in the area. Displaying it in his new office means a lot to him, but not quite as much as the box in Liam’s hands full of equally important moments.

 

“No, no. I’ll take it now. I don’t mind,” Harry insists, happily walking over to collect the photographs from his friend.

 

Liam immediately takes a seat once he’s free of it and resumes his task of organizing and compiling all the new paperwork for Harry’s business with the old. Harry pays him no mind, setting the box down on top of the desk to pull out the first smooth frame that his fingers brush against.

 

He grins at the photograph of him and his sister over ten years ago with their mother the time she called out of work and took them both out of school to go spend the day at the beach for no reason at all; just because. He’s twenty-seven years old- or he _will be_ soon enough- and he still dreams about that golden day. It’s one of his most cherished memories that he has of the three of them as a family. He used to talk about it so often to Gemma and lament the fact that Aiden threw all of his nice pictures away that eventually his sister had a copy of this one made so Harry could always have it.

 

He places the old photo on the long, wooden shelf behind his desk along with a photo of Gemma and David on their wedding day, and another photo of Gemma and his nephew Elliot playing in the park just a few months ago.

 

Elliot’s getting so big, and at nearly four years old he manages to look more and more like _Harry_ every day with his wild hair that Gemma and David have long since given up trying to tame. Harry smiles to himself remembering how his sister used to tease him about his hair when they were little. He takes great pleasure in her child being doomed to his fate and genetics.

 

Harry is just reaching into the box to take out another photograph when he hears his phone vibrating somewhere on his desk.

 

“Who is that?” he mumbles absently, already smiling at the new photo in his hands.

 

“Who do you think?” Liam laughs as he glances at the screen. “It’s Louis. He says he’s on his way to get you. Five minutes,” he relays, tossing the phone at Harry who catches it, grins down at the text, and immediately replies. He grins a bit too hard at Louis’ response because he hears Liam quietly sniggering to himself at his desk. “Well, since Louis will be here any minute, I’m going to head downstairs to check on Niall. See if he needs anything before we go.”

 

Harry rolls his eyes at the speed with which he and Louis are still able to clear a room. They aren’t _that_ bad.

 

“Bye, Li. I’ll see you on Monday to help finish up, right?” he asks, glancing around at all the things that still need to be done. God, he feels like there’s so much.

 

“ _Monday_?” Liam frowns. He seems to realize that he did in fact promise to help out after a beat and quickly nods instead. “Oh. Er- Yeah... _Monday_ ,” he smiles. “A few more days like this and I think we’ll be all set.”

 

_A few more days._

 

Harry could hardly believe it the day that he opened the doors of his first bakery and now, thanks to its success, he’s standing in the brand new office of his second, nearly ready to open the doors again. He honestly doesn’t know how he got so lucky.

 

Liam hugs him goodbye and tells him to have a good time at his early birthday dinner with Louis tonight. Harry thanks him and continues setting out the rest of the photographs while he waits.

 

He has pictures of everyone in this box; old ones he ‘ _borrowed_ ’ from Gemma’s collection and even some fairly recent ones that Harry took himself.

 

He pulls out one of his absolute favorites last. His chest warms all over seeing his and Louis’ selfie from their wedding day where they were laughing next to each other in front of St. Mary’s, having snuck away from everybody just moments before saying ‘I do’.

 

They spent a fortune for a professional photographer to follow them around all day. They ended up with hundreds of gorgeous pictures of themselves to choose from, but somehow this simple moment on the steps of the church ended up stealing the whole show.

 

That church has played such an important part in so many different stages of their lives. It’s where Harry ended up on days that he was so tired that he needed someplace safe just to sit down, and unfortunately, it’s also where he’d go when he was so hungry that he needed a warm meal just to stop his stomach from twisting in pain. He met Louis on one of those days; his beautiful and amazing husband who used to show up every Saturday afternoon just to give him warm clothes and force him to eat more sugar than any one person could ever need. Marianne had been Harry’s only friend at that place for such a long time but all of that changed the moment Louis walked through those church doors. When they started talking about marriage, Harry had tried talking Louis into getting a bigger venue to comfortably hold all of their family and friends, but Louis wouldn’t hear of marrying him anywhere else. He kissed the ring that he’d placed on Harry’s finger just two months after Harry opened his first shop and then kissed his lips and said that there was no other place in the world that he’d rather become his husband.

 

The same feelings of warmth and love from that day close in around his heart just as he hears someone enter the room and wrap their arms around him from behind.

 

Harry leans back into the hold, a familiar pair of lips grinning against his neck right below his left ear.

 

“I _love_ that photo of us,” Louis says, taking it from Harry’s hands to better see it. “Happiest day of my life,” he whispers, so soft and tender as he traces a finger along their frozen faces, so alive and radiant even in black and white.

 

Harry turns in his husband’s arms and leans down to capture his lips in a kiss, remembering how wonderful it felt getting to do that for the first time as Harry _Tomlinson_ -Styles. It’s been three whole years since then and Harry still gets that giddy feeling just being near him.

 

Louis abandons their wedding photograph altogether when Harry pulls him closer, letting it fall face-down on the desk to wrap his arms around Harry’s broad shoulders and melt against him. It’s moments like these that Harry understands exactly why their friends and family bolt when they think they’re about to be stuck in a room alone with them. They just saw each other five hours ago when Louis took him out to lunch.

 

Louis makes a small sound of protest a couple of minutes later when Harry regretfully pulls away to sit the picture frame right-side up. He angles it so that it’s the most prominent picture in the room. It’ll be the first thing anyone will see walking into his office.

 

Louis lifts up on his toes to press one more lingering kiss to his jaw before finally loosening his grip. He sighs and runs his fingers through the curled ends of Harry’s hair and then pokes at one of his dimples just to be annoying.

 

“So, how’d everything go today, _birthday boy_?” he smirks.

 

Harry rolls his eyes at the way Louis wiggles his eyebrows at him.

 

“My birthday isn’t until _tomorrow_ ,” Harry reminds him for the millionth time even though he refuses to actually acknowledge the fact and has given Harry a gift every day this week. “But, besides that minor detail which you choose to completely ignore, everything has been great,” Harry reports. “Niall’s been floating between shops, but he’s pretty much got everything with the new kitchen staff squared away. Liam of course has been helping me out with inventory and all that other math shit that I’m not smart enough to figure out, so all in all, it was a very productive day.”

 

“Sounds like it,” Louis smiles, taking a look around the room they’re standing in. “Everything looks amazing, Haz. I still can’t believe what an incredible job you’ve done getting this place up and running. I’m so proud of you.”

 

Harry blushes a bit, feeling more than a bit proud of himself as well. He had no idea what the hell he was doing with the first shop that fell into his lap at the hands of none other than his husband, but eventually Harry figured it out and did such a good job that he’s now fortunate enough to be opening a second one all on his own.

 

“Thanks, love,” Harry grins, smacking a quick kiss to his husband’s jaw.  “And what about you? How was your day?” Harry has been busy pretty getting ready for his grand opening, but Louis has been just as busy if not more so with everything on his plate.

 

He co-manages the Feed the Homeless program with Marianne which now serves seven churches throughout the city and he works tirelessly with community outreach as well donating and coming up with ways to help raise money for more emergency housing. He does all of that out of the goodness of his heart, not to mention his actual _job_ at the studio with Zayn. Harry honestly doesn’t know how he does it, but proud doesn’t even begin to describe how he feels knowing he married such a wonderful man.

 

“Everything’s great with me. Work went fine. I left early though and stopped by to see Marianne. She says hello by the way,” Louis informs him like always. “I had to stop by community outreach for a bit, and then I spent the rest of the afternoon running _errands,”_ he says with an air of mystery and another wiggle of his eyebrows.

 

Harry gives him a flat look, already knowing what that means.

 

“By running errands I assume you mean out buying _more_ birthday gifts.” Harry snorts a laugh at the innocent way that Louis bats his eyelashes like he has no idea what Harry’s talking about. “Didn’t we already agree that you were going to _stop_ buying me things?”

 

“Maybe,” Louis answers, “But didn’t we also agree that I’m probably _not_ going to listen to you?” And no, Harry doesn’t remember that part of the conversation. It must’ve been one of those silent discussions that only happens in Louis’ head just like that time they agreed on letting Duke have free reign of their bed at night or the time they decided that Harry needed a brand new fucking car.

 

Louis smacks a loud kiss to his jaw, still as impossible, stubborn, and persistent as ever. Harry loves him so much.

 

“You almost ready to go, old man? I made us reservations, but we still need to go change and one of us will need to take Duke out.”

 

Harry sighs, nodding at the things he still needs to do here, but can always wait until later.

 

“Yeah, I think I’m ready. Li already left. I told him we’d pick it back up on Monday. I’m pretty sure Niall’s done for the day too. He said he had to go get ready so he was hurrying to leave.”

 

Louis’ eyes narrow at that. “Get ready for what exactly?”

 

“Hmm? Oh, I don’t know. I think he’s going out with Zayn or something. Or maybe he has a date? He didn’t really say.”

 

“Oh. A date, huh? Poor girl,” Louis says, now sounding a lot less interested in whatever Niall’s up to. “So, anyway, are you all ready, birthday boy?” he smirks again. Harry nods even though his birthday isn’t until _tomorrow_. He makes sure to grab all of his things before letting Louis usher him out the door.

 

 

“This must be some reservation,” Harry teases as he drags his feet on the way up to their door because Louis keeps pulling at him and trying to get him to walk faster. He’s already called whatever restaurant they’re going to about half a dozen times just to make sure everything is squared away. His husband is close to losing it over something as simple as dinner between the two of them and Harry thinks it’s tragically adorable.

 

“Well, it’s rude to be late,” Louis argues, now practically pushing Harry down the corridor. Which is funny coming from him since Louis’ hardly ever on time for anything including work.

 

“I think it’ll be alright if we show up just a couple of minutes late,” Harry assures Louis as he fumbles to unlock the front door. “And even if they say we’re too late to go in then we can just go someplace else,” he shrugs. “You could take me to McDonalds for my birthday and I’d still be just as happy.”

 

“That’s very good to know.” Louis finally gets the door unlocked and pushes it open with a smirk. “However, I hate to break it to you, love because we’re not going to McDonalds,” he says over the sound of the large exclamation of happy birthday from all the people squeezed into the living room of their flat.

 

Harry turns to his husband with a dropped jaw. He really did think they were going out to dinner.

 

“Louis! Lou, how did you-? _When_ did you even have the time to-?”

 

“Surprise,” Louis smiles. Harry’s stomach flutters when he presses up to kiss him and wish him the happiest birthday in the world.

 

“But- It’s not even my birthday today,” Harry argues. He turns to the room full of loved ones rushing over to welcome him home and shakes his head. “Everybody here said they were too busy to make it down for dinner!”

 

Jay apologized to him on the phone just this morning for not being able to make it, claiming that her two youngest children had a mandatory school thing and yet here she is standing in their living room with one of the largest trays of cupcakes Harry’s ever seen along with all of Louis’ siblings. Gemma and David declined too, saying their car would be in the shop until next Tuesday, but clearly that isn’t the case since Gemma, David, and even little Elliot are currently attacking him with birthday hugs and kisses. His best friends are all fucking liars because Liam said he and his wife were going to his in-laws’ house for the weekend, Zayn said there was this _‘insane party’_ downtown that he just couldn’t miss, and Niall came up with so many excuses for why he wouldn’t be around that Harry just assumed he was going out on a date with some girl that he really liked because he was being so fucking weird about it. No wonder they all gave him bizarre looks when he said he’d see them all on Monday.

 

“A party on your _actual_ birthday? Where’s the surprise in that, little bro?” Gemma laughs, winking over at Louis who looks immensely proud of himself and for good reason too. Louis can’t keep a secret to save his life which is probably why Harry has five different gifts from him already sitting in their room; he had to occupy himself with _something_ in order to keep his own mouth shut.

 

Harry looks across the room after everyone has hugged him ‘hello’, grinning when he locks eyes with the person responsible for all of this.

 

Louis maneuvers his way through the crowd to come stand in front of him looking entirely smug to have pulled this off, but mostly just satisfied to see Harry’s happy reaction.

 

“I can’t believe you did all of this for me,” Harry tells him.

 

They’ve been together for years now and Harry still finds it hard to believe that Louis is actually real. His husband’s hand comes up to rest against his face and Harry can’t help but lean into his gentle touch.

 

“I love you. You know I’d do anything in the world for you,” he whispers so no one else can hear. And, yeah; Harry knows that. It’s a truth he learned very early on in their relationship and has held close to his heart ever since because Harry feels the exact same way about him.

 

Louis lifts up to kiss him just deep enough to stir up the butterflies that had just begun to settle down from before. Someone mentions the cupcakes and suddenly the crowd starts migrating to give him and Louis a bit of privacy.

 

“You’re beyond amazing for doing this, Louis. Thank you. I love you so, so much. You have no idea.”

 

Louis rolls his eyes after Harry’s words cause him to blush, but the shy grin he’s wearing stays on his face.

 

“Yeah, yeah, I know you do, now, _go_ ,” Louis says, laughing as he pushes Harry towards the kitchen where everyone has collected to watch Jay light the candles on his cupcakes. “Everyone’s waiting for you so stop saying things to make me want to move on to part _two_ of the night while everyone’s still here,” he smirks. The promise in his voice kind of makes Harry want to bypass the kitchen altogether, but his friends and family have already started singing to him so he ditches that plan.

 

He heads straight to the kitchen table to stand in front of the cupcakes that Jay always makes for her children and now for _him_ as well since his mother isn’t here to do it. He stoops down just in front of his candles when they finish singing to him, pausing when someone tells him think hard and to make a good wish.

 

Harry has so much already; has been given so much with the man standing across from him that there really isn’t much that’s left for him to want. There was once a time when Harry didn’t know if he was going to make it from one day to the next and now he has this big, extraordinary life laid out in front of him where anything is possible; all Harry wants is to share every second of it with his husband. Harry tries to be thankful for what he’s got by never asking for too much, but there is _one_ thing in this world that he and Louis don’t have just yet.

 

It’s a long shot. Harry doesn’t even know if they’re truly ready, however, tonight feels like the perfect time to ask for a miracle with all the magic already floating around in the air, so Harry takes a deep, anxious breath and releases it.

 

*

 

“ _Pleeeease_? Don’t be like that. What did you wish for?”

 

“Nope. Can’t tell you or else it won’t come true,” Harry retorts as he walks Louis from the front door to their bedroom, the two of them finally alone after spending most of the night surrounded by their loved ones.

 

“Oh, come on,” he pouts. He reverses their positions once they get to the room and pushes Harry back onto the bed to climb up his lap and straddle his hips. “Whisper it,” Louis tells him.

 

Laughter bubbles up from Harry’s chest because there’s no one here besides Duke in the next room to hear him even if he did whisper it. Everyone started leaving about twenty minutes ago; their friends to their homes (or in Zayn’s case to the _‘insane party’_ which actually turned out to be real), and their families to the hotel that Louis arranged for them to stay in for the night just a couple of blocks away. 

 

“Not yet. I’ll tell you later,” Harry chuckles, watching the way Louis’ eyes playfully roll back from such an empty promise.

 

Louis leans down over him until they’re practically nose to nose like he can force Harry to spill from pure will alone. He grins and leans into the palm of Harry’s hand when he cups his cheek. He is so beautiful. Harry has thought that literally since the first time he ever saw him; stumbling around on drunken feet, handing out a handful of cash to a complete stranger who seemed to be having a rough time.

 

“Tell me,” Louis grins. “I’m good at keeping secrets. You can trust me.”

 

His tone isn’t quite as demanding this time, the playful light in his eyes going soft when Harry’s fingers slide into the back of his hair. He hears Louis’ breath catch when their lips brush together, so gently at first that even Louis’ fringe tickles where it falls down into Harry’s face. Harry holds him there so they can kiss again, and this time it’s so deep that Louis forgets about pestering him altogether when Harry finally lets him go.

 

“We can talk about wishes or whatever you want a little later,” Harry promises. “But for right now, I just want to be with you.” He brings their lips together again and Louis sighs into it, sinking into Harry and his fingertips when Harry pulls him so close that they’re chest to chest. He can still taste the chocolate from earlier on his husband’s tongue and feel how fast their hearts are beating where they’re pressed right against one another.

 

Harry isn’t really worried about his birthday wish not coming true if he tells. Not when holding Louis in his arms right now is all the proof he needs to know that even the wildest dreams are capable of coming true.

 

*

 

The air around them is still charged later on where they’re lying close to each other in the quiet. Harry runs the tips of his fingers down each one of Louis’, slotting their fingers into place at the knuckles so their rings rest side by side.

 

Louis grins at the feeling. He always does when they lie next to one another like this. It makes Harry brave as he gathers the courage to say the thing that’s been on his mind for so long. Harry takes a deep breath and holds it just like the one he used to make his wish just hours before.

 

“Do you think I could be a good father?”

 

It’s a question that has plagued him ever since Elliot was born. His mother was the best parent in the entire world which is probably why Gemma is so amazing at taking care of her own son. Their father was never around, so it’s not like Harry has tons of experience and examples to go by. He doesn’t have _any_ actually which is what scares him the most, however he calms when Louis’ eyes crinkle up at his question and the grin on his face stretches even wider.

 

“Yeah, love. All the time,” he whispers back, squeezing Harry’s hand in reassurance.

 

Harry’s chest was already feeling tight from nerves and slight fear of Louis having the same kinds of doubts about him even though Louis’ never really had a father figure either. He’s never seriously asked Louis about children before tonight, but now that he’s done it and Louis is still smiling at him like he hung the moon and stars he feels the emotion lodged beneath his ribs move to the walls of his throat, nearly constricting it from how relieved he is.

 

“Really?” he sniffs, feeling like an idiot for crying on his non-birthday.

 

“Yes, of course,” Louis chuckles. “I’ve always thought that, Haz. You’re everything that a child could ever want in a parent. You’re patient, kind, and so full of love that everyone feels warm just being in your presence... I can’t wait for our baby to get to experience that with you,” he whispers.

 

_Our baby._

 

Harry doesn’t realize that a rogue tear has escaped and rolled down his cheek until Louis gently wipes it away with his thumb.

 

“Did I say something wrong? I’m sorry,” he whispers, and Harry quickly shakes his head because Louis’ just said everything totally right; everything he wanted and needed to hear.

 

“No. Not at all. What you said was perfect. It’s the same way I feel about you. I think you’d be an amazing father.”

 

Harry has everything he could ever need and more. He looks at their lives and knows without a doubt that they are truly blessed, but he also feels like there’s still more to come. Something else just waiting for them to pursue it. There are mornings when all he can do is shake his head and laugh as Louis attempts to cook breakfast on his own while Duke runs literal circles through his legs just to pester him, and Harry thinks to himself that things couldn’t possibly get any crazier. But, it’s also during those same wonderful times that Harry looks at his husband and wants nothing more than to add a little chaos to their lives by raising a child together; c _hildren_ together, if they could be so lucky.

 

Louis considers him for a long time, his bright blue eyes almost electric this close up.

 

“Is that what you wished for, Haz? For us to start a family?” Louis poses it as a question even though there’s no need to do so. Harry nods, knowing full well that what he’s asking for will change their lives forever. He holds his breath when Louis smiles and slides closer to kiss him. Harry exhales, feeling a smile of his own grace his lips when Louis rests their foreheads together. “Consider it done,” he says. “Wish already granted.”

 

-

 

Two Months Later

 

“So, it’s _really_ happening, then? You’re going to be a real-life _dad_. Someone somewhere, _bless them_ , is actually going to let you and Harry have a tiny human person to take care of?”

 

Louis bites down on the grin he’s been sporting for the last two months. “ _Yep_ ,” he answers brightly, taking a bite of his salad and stealing a handful of Zayn’s fries.

 

He and Harry told everybody the very next day after they decided that they wanted kids. No one was surprised in the slightest, just immensely happy for the both of them. Even Zayn was over the moon although clearly he’s still having trouble wrapping his head around the idea.

 

“Yes, Z. I’m going to be a father. I’m going to make dad jokes and then complain about stepping on hard toys left in the middle of the floor. I’ll probably groan about never being able to find anything in the flat because my kid is sure to be just as messy and disorganized as me, because let’s be real here, it’s bound to happen.”

 

Zayn laughs, but doesn’t disagree with him. “Your kid could always learn to be neat and tidy like Harry. Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll still be the only slob in the house.”

 

“I wouldn’t even mind that,” he smiles. Louis hopes their child learns to be exactly like Harry in every way; generous, loving, and kind, and since they’re going with surrogacy, their child inheriting some of those wonderful qualities is a very real possibility.

 

“Have you had any more luck deciding which one of you is going to do it?” Zayn asks through a mouthful of sandwich.

 

“No,” Louis shakes his head. “Not yet. We keep going back and forth.” The fact that they’re having so much trouble deciding whose sperm to use is quite surprising for everyone actually. He and Harry have never really disagreed on anything before, and they aren’t even really disagreeing now because neither of them actually _cares_ whose child it will be biologically. They’re raising this family together. They’re having this entire experience together. The only issue is Harry loves him so much that he wants their kid to be a mini version of him, and Louis loves Harry so much that all he wants is a baby with big green eyes and wild, chocolate hair just like little Elliot. His husband is beautiful inside and out. Louis would love nothing more than for their child to be an exact copy, which is slightly problematic because Harry feels just as strongly about it on his end.

 

Zayn raises a disbelieving eyebrow at him.

 

“Wait a minute. You mean to tell me the two of you are _still_ heckling over who gets to jerk it into a plastic cup?”

 

Louis rolls his eyes because sure it sounds dumb when Zayn says it. He and Harry are lucky to even be getting the chance to use a surrogate. A lot of couples could never afford it and in many places it’s not even legal. They just want to do it right and try not to fuck it up on their first try. “It’s not about the cup, Z. We just love each other very much. It’s a hard decision to make,” Louis says in their defense.

 

“Yeah, I bet. It’ll definitely be hard for one of you,” Zayn smirks. “ _Very._ ”

 

Louis pretends his leg just had a spasm when he kicks Zayn under the table.

 

*

 

“I forgot to ask about lunch with Zayn today. How was it?” Harry asks later that evening where they’re tucked up on the sofa watching a movie.

 

 _“Annoying_ as per usual,” Louis answers back causing Harry to grin.

 

“Alright,” Harry sighs, rolling his eyes as he pulls Louis to lie half on top of him. He crosses his wrists over Louis’ back, holding Louis close to his chest like a giant baby. “What did Zayn do to you this time?”

 

Louis sighs, knowing that Zayn didn’t really _do_ anything, but he can’t stop thinking about their conversation. This baby is all he’s thought about for the past two months and they haven’t even really gotten started with having it yet. He meets Harry’s amused gaze and marvels at how completely wonderful his husband is even while humoring him and being just as knowingly annoying as his best friend. Is it really such a crime to want a child just like him?

 

He runs his thumb along the apples of Harry’s cheeks where he’s smiling and then along the slope of his nose that Harry dislikes, but Louis has always adored. There isn’t a single part of him that Louis isn’t completely in love with. Louis brings their lips together after a while of admiring him, hoping a kiss or two might help him to be a bit braver this time around.

 

“I want you to be the one to do it,” he whispers with his eyes still closed. Harry chuckles like always when they have this conversation, his persistent rebuttal for wanting Louis to be the one to do it already at the tip of his tongue. Louis opens his eyes and Harry’s soften upon seeing his expression. “Haz, please just listen to me for a minute. I’m being serious.”

 

“Okay, love. I’m listening,” he promises. His patient gaze is aimed right at him and it makes Louis a bit nervous knowing that he has every bit of his attention; his stomach quivering the way it used to when he was just figuring out that he was in love.

 

“I know that we have slightly different opinions about this and I know that your reasons for wanting me to do it are just as valid as mine, so I get why you feel the way you do, but - I still want it to be you, Haz. We’ve got our follow-up appointment with the fertility specialist soon and said we’d have made a decision by the time we go back. And, I know my reasons for wanting this so much sound greedy and selfish, but- but that’s only because I love you. I love you with all of my heart and it’s not like it even matters really because I’d love our baby just as much regardless of which one of us it looks like or- or which one of us _jerks it_ into a plastic fucking cup.”

 

Harry blinks at him with mild shock etched onto his face when he’s finished like he didn’t quite expect that last bit.

 

Several deep wrinkles form between his eyebrows before his eyes crinkle up and his bright laughter fills the room, startling poor Duke from his nap beneath the coffee table.

 

“Wait a minute. Is _that_ what Zayn said? _Jerking it_ into a cup?”

 

Louis tries to keep his poker face on, but ends up cracking a smile anyway at how funny Harry seems to find that. “Stop laughing!” Louis whines even though he’s now laughing himself. “I was being really serious just now. We were really getting somewhere!”

 

It takes Harry a whole five minutes of trying to contain himself before he stops giggling each time he attempts to speak. His face is all flushed and his dimples won’t disappear because he’s still so bloody amused.

 

“Okay,” he manages to say eventually.

 

“Finally,” he mutters. “I thought you’d never shut up.”

 

“No, Louis. I meant, _okay_ ,” he says with a significant raise of his eyebrows, causing Louis’ heart to skip a beat.

 

“O- _Okay_ as in you’ll do it, or _okay_ as in we can keep discussing it?” he checks, not wanting to get his hopes up just yet.

 

“Okay as in, I’d be happy to do this for us, Lou.” He reaches up to cup his cheek in his palm again.

 

“Yeah?” he breathes.

 

“Yeah. I’ll jerk it into a cup for you, babe.”

 

“ _Fuck off_ ,” Louis says as he playfully shoves him in the chest, cackling at the stupid smirk stuck on his face.

 

“What? You said it first!” he laughs.

 

 _Zayn_ is technically the one who said it first, however Louis doesn’t actually care at the moment because all he sees when he pictures their lives a year from now are dark curls, forest-green eyes, and the both of them so incredibly happy that Louis’ heart flutters in anticipation of it.

 

“Thank you, Haz,” he breathes, wrapping his arms around Harry to hug him tight. Harry seems surprised by his big reaction. Louis is a bit surprised by it too if he’s honest. He hadn’t realized how important this had become to him.

 

“You’re more than welcome love. I’m happy to do this for you. For _us_ ,” Harry whispers.

 

-

 

Harry leaves work early two weeks later to go and _‘jerk it into a cup_ ’ as Zayn and everyone else has now decided to call him giving a fucking sperm sample. He spent half of the morning at his first bakery and the other half at his second where he double checked and then triple checked to make sure Niall would be alright without him.

 

“But are you _sure_ you’ll be okay? I can call Liam in as backup if you want. Or- Or I can get one of the employees from the other location to come help,” Harry offers, feeling guilty for leaving his friend during their busiest time of day.

 

Niall gives him another flat look as he shoves more scones and turnovers into the oven. “You’re acting like I’ve never been alone in the shop before, Haz. It’s not gonna burn down just because you’re not here.”

 

And yes, obviously Harry knows that. He just wants to make sure everything and everyone will be okay in his absence. He likes things to run smoothly. Like a well-oiled machine…and he also may be stalling going to his appointment just a bit, but that’s beside the point.

 

“Yeah, I know that, Ni. You’re great at your job and holding this place together; _amazing_ even.”

 

“Glad we agree,” Niall says as he takes off his apron. “Now, you’re my best friend so I see what you’re trying to do here, and as your best friend I have no other choice but to do _this_.”

 

Harry frowns when Niall takes him by the arm and directs him out of the kitchen, through the front of the shop, and out of the front door. “Get out, quit stalling, and go to your sperm thing. Good luck. Have fun and try not to make a mess,” he says with a firm salute that Harry absolutely refuses to return because gross.

 

Niall shuts the door in his face, throwing the lock from the inside when Harry reaches for the handle. Niall waves Harry goodbye through the glass and then quickly jerks his fist at him before walking back to the kitchen.

 

Harry grimaces as he watches him leave, wondering when all of their friends got so fucking crude.

 

 

He arrives on time for his appointment, and thankfully no one looks at him weird like he thought they might when he signs in and takes a seat in the waiting room to go… do his thing.

 

A woman with a kind, non-judgmental smile comes to get him a few minutes later to escort him to a private room, leaving him there with a plastic cup with his name printed on the side and instructions on who to give it to when he’s done.

 

The door closes behind her and Harry’s first thought is that he wishes Louis were allowed to be here. Not even for the sex part; just for moral support while he’s feeling so out of his depth.

 

He sighs and shrugs out of his jacket. He lays it across the back of the little sofa that’s pushed against the wall. This room is too small and _medical_ -looking. Harry feels like he doesn’t have room to do much of anything in here let alone fill up this fucking cup. Seriously. Why is it so big?

 

He takes a seat on the hard sofa and takes a deep breath to try and get himself in the zone to do this, but nothing happens. The woman who brought him here said that he could take all the time he needs, but he’s sure she didn’t mean for him to be in here for the next ten hours. He starts to fear that he may actually be stuck in here that long when he palms himself over his jeans and has no reaction at all.

 

His phone vibrates in the pocket of his jacket and Harry rushes to grab it, thankful for the distraction. He goes to answer the text or call, blinking down at his phone in confusion when he sees that it’s Louis FaceTiming him of all things.

 

 _“Louis_?” he says when the signal connects.

 

“Hiya, love,” he says from what looks like his office at the studio. “You look surprised to _see_ me,” he teases.

 

That’s because they haven’t used FaceTime in the entirety of their relationship. The two of them haven’t spent a single night apart from each other in over three years, so there’s never been a need for it.

 

“Not that this isn’t a pleasant surprise, but what are you doing calling me? Shouldn’t you be busy with work?”

 

“Well, I was, but then Niall called a few minutes ago and said you were being strange about going to your appointment, so I figured I’d check to see if you might need a bit of… _encouragement_ ,” he says with a wicked smirk.

 

Harry sat here for a whole ten minutes without even the whisper of arousal down below, but just hearing what Louis’ suggesting sends a little tingle down his spine.

 

“Louis. I don’t think I’m even supposed to be on my phone,” Harry points out. He’s pretty sure he saw a big no mobiles sign stuck to the door when he walked in here.

 

“Really? That sucks. Well, I can always sneak down there and take care of you in person if you want,” he purrs. And yeah, that’s _definitely_ not allowed.

 

“I don’t think this is that kind of establishment, but thanks for the offer,” he laughs.

 

Harry feels better already just talking to his husband and being made to laugh. He lets out a long sigh as Louis smiles at him. Being in his presence, even through an app relieves his chest of all the tightness that had built up from how tense he was.

 

“Why don’t you lie back, babe. Make yourself comfortable.” His husband bats his blue eyes at him and Harry is quick to do what he asked after checking to make sure the door is locked.

 

He settles into the stiff cushions of the sofa with his phone angled towards his face.

 

He gets a view of Louis’ office when Louis props his phone up on his desk so Harry can see him better. Harry inhales and releases another deep breath, focusing all of his attention on how beautiful his husband looks. He’s in a dark t-shirt that hugs all the gentle curves of his body just the way Harry likes. His hair is still messy from Harry running his fingers through it this morning before he left and that alone makes him think of sex. Louis stands up from his chair to pull his t-shirt over his head and Harry gasps, nearly choking on his own spit.

 

“W-What are you doing?” he gasps, his heart suddenly racing as he watches Louis unbutton his jeans as well in the middle of his office.

 

“I’m getting naked. What’s it look like?” he laughs. And, yeah; Harry can _see_ that. He can see every glorious angle of his husband’s body displayed in front of him. God, he’s so fucking hot.

 

“Well, stop it! Everyone can see you. Your entire office is made out of fucking _glass_.”

 

“I sent them out to lunch,” Louis says as he rolls his tight jeans down his thighs. “Zayn too,” he smirks. “They’re all gone.”

 

“ _Oh_ ,” Harry says, his blood pressure returning to normal now that he knows Louis _isn’t_ giving his entire office a show.

 

“Yeah. _Oh_ ,” Louis teases him. “It’s just me and you. No one else,” he says. So… he guesses they’re really doing this. “So, how are you doing over there?” Louis grins after a while.

 

Harry’s eyes rake over the golden color of Louis’ skin and how fucking amazing he looks even through the phone. He runs a palm over his lap again, happy to find his situation looking and feeling much better than it did a few minutes ago. “I’m better. Still a bit nervous, I think... This is kind of weird. We’ve never done this before.”

 

“Yeah, I know, but that’s what makes it so fun. We can do anything you want. Just tell me what you want me to do.”

 

What Harry wants is to pull him through the phone and gently roll one of his nipples between his teeth or feel Louis tensing around his fingers as he kisses down the inside of his thighs. Harry’s eyes flutter closed, thinking back to the night before when Louis sucked him off and rode him so hard that his ears started ringing after he came. He’d have Louis do _that_ again in a heart beat.

 

“Will you touch yourself for me?” Harry asks.

 

“Sure, baby. I’d love to,” he smiles. Louis grabs his phone and walks over to the small sofa in the corner of his office. He sets his phone on the little coffee table in front of it and props it up on a flowerpot full of fake blossoms that’s fooling no one.

 

He lies back on the sofa and Harry can see his entire body stretched out and gorgeous as he wiggles out of his boxer briefs. He’s already hard and glistening on screen when he licks his thumb to tease his own tip and then wraps a hand around himself.

 

“Is this okay?” he asks the camera.

 

Harry is so mesmerized by him that it takes a few seconds for him to remember that Louis can see and hear him too and needs a response.

 

“Y-Yeah,” he nods, his dick so hard now that he has to unbutton his own jeans to copy his husband and thumb at the head of it. “You’re perfect,” he tells Louis, heat starting to curl in his belly when Louis starts pumping himself in earnest, the muscles of his stomach contracting each time he gasps at the feeling of his own hand and thrusts up into its warmth.

 

He uses his other hand to pinch his nipples and then squeeze his balls, his back arching off the sofa the way it does whenever Harry does those very same things for him.

 

Harry glances down at himself, frustrated now because he’s rock hard and his jeans are still in the fucking way.

 

“I- I’ll be right back. Hold on. Wait for me,” Harry says. He places his phone down to quickly shed all of his clothes and to grab his cup as well, almost forgetting that the cup is the whole reason they’re even doing this.

 

When Harry settles down again and flips his phone back over he has to squeeze the base of his dick to keep from coming all over himself at the image of Louis hunched over on his knees with the side of his face pressed into the sofa as he uses his fingers to open himself up.

 

Harry makes a low sound at the back of his throat, keeping a firm grip on himself as Louis tilts his head to smile at the camera. “You’re back,” he breathes, moaning at the way his own fingers twist inside of him. “Fuck, Harry. I wish you were here to do this for me. It’s so much better when it’s you,” he pants.

 

Harry resumes jerking himself off, but slower this time, appreciating every moan and suggestive word that falls out of Louis’ mouth.

 

“I wish I were there too.” God, if Harry were there with the way Louis’ currently bent over. He’d lick him out until he was shaking and then slide into him so easily. The familiar drag around his dick would be so incredible that he probably wouldn’t even last two minutes.

 

Harry doesn’t last much longer than that outside of his imagination either because as soon as he thinks about coming into his husband, his body tenses and he has to rush to grab his cup to make sure he doesn’t waste a drop that spills out of him as Louis breathes his name over and over.

 

He flops back against the sofa when he’s done, but the dying fire in his stomach starts building up again when he sees Louis still hunched over and moaning into his sofa, working himself over until he comes off of his own fingers a few minutes later.

 

“ _Fuck_ ,” Louis breathes, blissfully smiling to himself and at Harry when he finishes.

 

Louis lies there until his breathing goes back to normal and then gets up in search of something to clean the mess he just made. He grabs some tissues from somewhere out of view of the camera and comes back to scrub uselessly at the cushion. He must not get too far with getting rid of the evidence of what they just did because he gives up after a few seconds and shrugs like the stain isn’t worth fussing over.

 

He’s still bare naked when he walks over to the camera, his chest and face still flushed as well when he picks it up says hello.

 

“Alight, babe. Everyone’s going to be back here soon, so I kind of need to go, but- I’ll see you at home in a little while? Oh! Maybe we can order Chinese?” he says like he does any other day; like they didn’t just get off with one another over the phone like…Harry doesn’t know anybody who actually does that.

 

“Uh- Yeah. Sure. That sounds good,” Harry nods, unable to do much else at the moment besides wish he and his husband were in the same vicinity so they could have round two.

 

“Okay, great. Well, I’ve got to put some clothes on and find something to clean my sofa before Zayn comes in here asking questions, but I love you and I’m so, so proud of you for doing this, love! Bye! See you at home!” he says with a kiss to the camera before ending their call. Harry blinks at the blank screen of his phone, the warm cup in his hand, and all of his clothes lying abandoned on the floor wondering what the hell just happened.

 

*

 

“What about her? She has the prettiest hazel eyes I’ve ever seen,” Zayn sighs dreamily as he looks at the picture of one of their potential egg donors slash surrogates.

 

“She also has hair _twice_ the size of mine,” Harry mutters. “Our child would have no friends because nobody would be able to see its face.”

 

“He or she would be guaranteed to have gorgeous eyes though,” Louis smiles. “They’d either be green, hazel, or oooh! Maybe even a mixture of both. They could be _golden_.” His expression is just as dreamy as Zayn’s as he looks over the rest of the woman’s information. “Oh look, Haz. She sings and writes music in her spare time. Our baby could inherit musical prodigy genes too.”

 

Harry is all for their kid growing up to be a golden-eyed, beautiful pop star if that’s what he or she wants later on in life, but not with that hair. Louis loves his curls more than anything, but Harry absolutely hated them as a kid. His DNA synching up with this egg donor’s would be a ticking time bomb and the explosion would be nothing but fucking ringlets all over the place _._

 

“Hey, what about this woman?” Harry says instead of telling Louis and Zayn hell no.

 

Liam slides closer to him and grins at the woman’s picture. “Aww, she’s lovely too.” He’s said that about pretty much every surrogate they’ve looked at. If it were up to Liam, he and Louis would be trying for about twenty babies instead of just one.

 

“She’s beautiful,” Niall agrees. “Nice smile, beautiful blue eyes…”

 

“Long, _straight_ hair,” Harry smiles. That was the first thing he noticed about her.

 

Louis and Zayn look at the woman’s picture that everyone else seems to be in agreement of. “I think she’s gorgeous,” Louis says causing Zayn to snort a laugh.

 

“Of course you’d say that. She looks just like you but, you know, a girl.”

 

“No, she doesn’t,” Louis insists. “She looks _nothing_ like me. She’s blonde.”

 

“I don’t know, Lou. Aside from the hair, you two do have similar features; the eyes, cheekbones, even your chin,” Liam pipes in.

 

Harry nods, seeing Louis in this woman’s face the longer he stares at her picture. Maybe that’s why she stood out to him.

 

Her name is Amanda. Her bio says that she wants to do what she can to help couples who would be terrific parents but just need a little assistance to get there. She seems sweet, especially for sacrificing her time and her body so other people can start families. People just like him and Louis. “I think she might be the best option that we’ve seen so far _and_ she’s only twenty-six. That’s much younger than most of the others.”

 

“I think she could be perfect for you two. It’s too bad that she’d be a first-time surrogate, though,” Zayn, points out.

 

Harry hadn’t noticed that. No one else did either from the way everyone’s faces fall. It’s not that being a first-time surrogate is a bad thing per se, it’s just better to use a surrogate who has already successfully carried for others or have even had children themselves.

 

“That is too bad. I like her,” Louis says, sounding more disappointed than everybody. Harry knows that it’s important to Louis to have their child look like Harry, but it’s important to him to have pieces of Louis represented on their child’s face as well and this woman could give them that chance. 

 

He watches as Louis places her profile in the maybe pile with the other three that they both liked before moving onto the others.

 

 

It’s later that night when their friends have all left that Harry finds Louis back on the sofa, going through the pictures again.

 

“What are you doing?” Harry grins, kissing Louis’ cheek as he takes a seat beside him.

 

“Nothing,” he answers with a tired sigh. “Just looking at these one more time.” Harry takes note of the little pile they made this afternoon and notices Amanda at the top of it.

 

“I see you’re thinking about Amanda as a possibility again,” Harry comments. “Are you reconsidering?”

 

Louis looks at the picture longingly before shaking his head and sitting it off to the side. “No. Zayn’s right. We should pick someone who has experience. We shouldn’t make this harder than it has to be.”

 

“Everyone has to start somewhere, babe,” Harry says after Louis has gone completely quiet, just staring at her photograph once he picks it up again. “She says she wants the opportunity to help families, but no one has given her that chance yet,” Harry continues. “It could be us, Lou. I’d personally be honored to give her that chance. She seems amazing.”

 

“She does,” Louis agrees. “But- What if it doesn’t work with her or something goes wrong?” he whispers. “Then what?”

 

Having this baby is all Harry has wanted since that night he wished on every birthday candle he had. They want to start a family together and he just doesn’t believe that fate would treat them so cruelly after the life they’ve already been given by refusing them something this special.

 

“If for some reason it doesn’t work then we’ll just try again, but I know that it’ll work out for us either way.” _It has to,_ Harry thinks when Louis puts down the rest of the profiles to bury his face in Harry’s neck in a tight hug _. It just has to._

 

*

 

They have to wait a full month after choosing Amanda as their child’s biological mother. For the artificial insemination to work, she needs to be ovulating, so once again all he and Louis can do is be patient which isn’t an easy thing to do since when they’re so excited to be doing this in the first place.

 

Attempt one is like a whirlwind for them once the fertility doctor says it’s time to try. They go with Amanda on the day and pray that when they all go back in a few weeks she’ll be carrying their baby. It doesn’t quite work out that way though, so instead of making an appointment with the ob/gyn they make an appointment for attempt number two.

 

Another whole month has to pass before they can try again. They’re still just as excited as before because most couples who don’t get pregnant the first time almost _always_ get pregnant with round two. They leave the doctor’s office and Harry’s chest feels full for the next three weeks as they wait to see what happens, and unfortunately for them, nothing does.

 

The looks on Louis and Amanda’s faces look about as disappointed as Harry feels hearing for a second time that they’re no closer to having a baby than they were nearly four months ago when this all started. She apologizes like it’s her fault that it’s not working and everyone assures her that it’s not. She can’t control what happens inside of her body any more than the rest of them can. It just sucks because they all feel so powerless.

 

They schedule an appointment for a third attempt and Harry feels anxiety twisting at his stomach the whole time the nurse schedules them in. Their doctor had been very clear in his explanation of the process of artificial insemination. He said some couples get pregnant on the first attempt, and that most get pregnant after the second. A third attempt is only needed for very rare cases, and if it still doesn’t work after that, most couples start looking at other options.

 

Harry squeezes Louis’ hand during the car ride back home after leaving the clinic. He’s terrified of something being wrong even though the doctor assured them that there is no apparent issue with Harry’s sperm or with Amanda’s eggs. There’s nothing keeping Amanda from getting pregnant; apparently it’s just not meant to be yet.

 

 

“Maybe we should’ve just gone with adoption,” Louis says out of nowhere that night.

 

When they got home from the clinic neither of them felt like doing much of anything so they ordered Chinese from the place that knows them by name and crawled into bed together soon after eating it. Harry tightens his arm around Louis and holds him close, telling himself over and over that he’s wrong even though he secretly thinks he might be right.

 

Harry takes a deep breath to steady his voice before he responds. He hates feeling so scared and anxious, but he hates it even more when it comes to his husband. Louis should smile every day, and lately that hasn’t really been happening.

 

“I think we should just wait and see what happens this last time and if it still doesn’t work, then…” Harry doesn’t know what to say. It’s pointless to keep putting themselves and Amanda through this, but starting the adoption process at this point would only waste more time for them.

 

Harry feels his heart breaking into a million little pieces when Louis buries his face into his chest and he feels warm tears falling onto his skin. He really hopes it works next time.

 

*

 

Attempt three happens on a Thursday and he and Louis are so drained from the whole experience that they don’t even tell their loved ones that they’re trying again. They go with Amanda to the appointment like always, but that initial enthusiasm and excitement is no longer there.

 

The next three weeks drag by painfully slow and nobody breathes even a syllable of the words _baby_ or _pregnant_ around them.

 

It’s hard pretending like his heart isn’t pounding in his throat when they wake up on the morning of Amanda’s blood test at the clinic, but he does it for Louis’ sake; smiling and telling him how great it’s going to be if it turns out that the third time really is the charm. Louis tries to perk up too, though he’s never been very good at hiding the way he feels. Harry can see defeat looming in the depths of his eyes ready to make its appearance as soon as the doctor informs them yet again that Amanda isn’t pregnant.

 

He brings their lips together before they leave the flat and assures his husband that they’re going to start a family no matter what happens today. Louis nods and looks like he almost believes him.

 

The three of them sit in the doctor’s office with bated breaths after a nurse comes to take Amanda’s blood and rushes off to the lab to have it tested. Harry doesn’t feel like he breathes at all in the time it takes to process it and for the doctor to come in and see them. Harry slides his hand into Louis’, hoping he can’t tell the way it’s trembling.

 

“So? What did the test say?” Harry asks even though he knows he’s being rude by rushing the man who has done nothing but help them all these months, but he can’t take the suspense. He needs to know.

 

“You remember how I said we would probably need to talk about other options if attempt three wasn’t successful?” Harry nods and closes his eyes as his heart twists inside of his chest. _Fuck_ , he really thought this time would be it. “Well, we can forget that whole conversation, because Amanda is officially pregnant,” their doctor says.

 

It takes everyone’s brains in the room a couple of beats to catch up to what the doctor just said.

 

“I am?” Amanda asks at the same time that Louis’ gaze drops to her flat tummy and he echoes her question.

 

“She is?”

 

“She is. The third attempt was a success,” the doctor confirms.

 

“Oh my God,” Harry breathes, his gaze dropping to Amanda’s stomach as well. His and Louis’ baby is in there _right this second_. “ _Oh my God!_ ” he says again, smiling this time as he gets up to wrap her in a crushing hug because there’s a _baby_ in there. “That’s fucking amazing news! That’s- This is wonderful!” he exclaims causing Amanda to laugh.

 

Harry turns to Louis to see his reaction and it’s not quite as joyous as everyone else’s. He’s smiling, but it’s nowhere near as bright as it could or should be.

 

“How far along? Just a few weeks right?” Louis asks.

 

The doctor nods to confirm Louis’ guess. “We don’t have an exact estimate of when conception happened, so it could’ve been any time from the day of the third attempt. Ten to twelve weeks is usually the time-frame that we like to keep a close watch on what’s going on.” Louis nods once and in that moment, Harry understands why his husband isn’t jumping for joy just yet. He forgot about that waiting rule because apparently the first trimester of pregnancy is so delicate that nothing is ever certain.

 

“Ten to twelve weeks is all?” Harry checks again. They’ve been waiting forever just to get to this critical point. Twelve weeks is nothing in the grand scheme of things.

 

“Yes. And just so you know, everything looks normal and great so far, so I wouldn’t worry so much,” the doctor says. “I’d recommend a check up appointment every couple of weeks just to stay on top of things.”

 

Harry hugs Amanda again and even kisses her on the cheek even though he’s not sure if he should. He doesn’t really care, because she’s doing this big, incredible thing for them and Harry can’t express in words how thankful and appreciative he is. He shakes their doctor’s hand and refrains from kissing his cheek though he deserves it as well. He settles for a respectable ‘thank you’ instead.

 

He goes over to Louis last and bends to capture his lips in a kiss that he hopes makes his chest feel just as light and happy as Harry’s currently does.

 

“We did it, love,” Harry whispers, loving the new light that’s shining in Louis’ eyes, as small as it may be. All Harry has to do now is get him believe that what he’s feeling in this moment is something he can trust.

 

 

Harry sneaks out of their bedroom later that night when he’s so wired that he can’t sleep. He makes sure not to disturb Louis and Duke where they’re curled up with each other when he tiptoes to the kitchen with his phone.

 

His stomach is fluttering all over the place as it rings and the sensation only intensifies when his sister answers, mumbling an annoyed ‘ _What?_ ’ into the receiver. “It’s one- fifteen in the morning, Haz. What the hell?” she moans.

 

Harry ignores her grumbling, too excited to care about anything else. “Are you awake?”

 

“ _Unfortunately_.”

 

“Good. Amanda’s pregnant,” he says, unable to hold it in any longer.

 

He hears the sound of rustling on the other end of the phone and David’s snores suddenly stop. “Oh my God, really? Like, _really_ , really?”

 

“Really, really. We just found out today! We couldn’t believe it!”

 

“Haz, that’s amazing! I’m so happy for you and Louis! You’re both going to be incredible parents!” she gushes. “Wait, so how far along is she?”

 

“Only a few weeks. Three at the most.”

 

“ _Harry_ ,” Gemma chastises him. “You know you’re not technically supposed to tell for like, ten weeks or something.”

 

Details as far as Harry’s concerned. “I know, I know, but I couldn’t help it _and_ you told me when you were pregnant with Elliot before it was ten weeks. You said you didn’t care about some stupid rule and neither do I,” he smiles. “You’re my sister and I love you and I’m telling you now whether you want to know or not, so, be happy for me, _auntie_.”

 

“Oh, God,” she laughs. “You’re so fucking stubborn sometimes,” she says fondly. “Congratulations, little bro.” Harry grins to himself because he knows _exactly_ who he picked that little characteristic up from. The culprit is currently sleeping with half of his body on _Harry’s_ side of the bed.

 

*

 

The next two months are tense as they wait out the first trimester to make sure everything is okay. At first, Louis doesn’t want to tell anybody, but as the weeks pass and get closer to ten he slowly starts accepting and believing that this baby is here to stay. He calls his mother and even tells Zayn, Liam, and Niall although he tells them not to congratulate him or get too excited just yet.

 

Amanda has a check-up visit exactly twelve weeks from the day they found out she was pregnant. Louis’ eyes light up brighter than Harry’s seen them in ages when the doctor tells them that they’ve officially made it to the second trimester.

 

“We’re in the clear!” Harry tells him, which really just means ‘I told you so and now you can stop worrying so much’, but Harry’s not one to brag.

 

He watches as a giant, relieved smile spreads across his husband’s face for. “It’s okay to be excited again?” Louis asks.

 

He’s been so terrified of something happening to this baby that he’s hardly even breathed let alone expressed excitement about becoming a new father.

 

“It’s more than okay to be excited, babe,” Harry confirms, laughing when Louis surges forward to press their lips together with more vigor and energy than Harry’s felt from him in a long, long time.

 

-

 

Louis has so many bags in his hands that he has to slide some of them up his forearms and place two of them down completely just to be able to open the front door.

 

“Haz!” he calls as soon as he steps inside, heading straight for the sofa to dump everything out.

 

“Yeah, babe?” Harry asks when he turns the corner, his eyes going wide as he watches Louis unpack all the baby books he just spent the last two hours shopping for. “Holy shit,” he laughs. “Where did you find all of these?”

 

“Different places.” All over the fucking city is what he should say. Louis has never been to so many book shops in his entire life. His arms actually ache from carrying them all.

 

“Lou. _Love_ ,” Harry begins with that incredibly fond look in his eyes. It’s the same one he wears when Louis does something crazy like that time he bought him a whole sushi shop. “I know we both said that we wanted to learn all that we can about this, but you realize that there’s no way in hell we can read all of these before the baby comes, right?”

 

Louis rolls his eyes. The owners of all of those book shops gave him the same doubtful look when he merely inquired as to where the baby books were located and then came up to the register with a copy of every single one of them in his arms.

 

“I know we probably can’t read them _all_ , but some of them will be nice to just have around the flat in case we have questions or whatever. Maybe we can read half of them this time and then the rest with the other babies,” he shrugs.

 

Louis watches Harry’s eyebrows crinkle up in amusement. “ _Other_ babies?” he laughs. “The last I checked, we only just got pregnant with our first.”

 

“You don’t think our son or daughter would like a little brother or sister?” he grins. Louis has six younger siblings and he loved every minute of getting to grow up with them. He and Harry don’t need seven kids, but two or three would be nice if they could get that lucky.

 

Harry tilts Louis’ chin up to his height and gently kisses his lips. Louis melts against him. He still can’t believe that this is finally happening.  

 

“Alright, then. We’ll do it your way. We’ll read half now and the rest for our other babies,” he grins. “Sounds perfect,” he humors him.

 

*

 

It’s been another solid month when Louis feels someone quietly watching him from across the room. He looks up from the new book he’s been reading this week to find Harry leaning in the doorway with a grin. “It’s rude to stare,” Louis says, watching Harry’s grin stretch even wider. He comes over to sit next to him, pressing their bodies right against each other.

 

“What are you doing?”

 

Chills tingle the spot just below Louis’ ear when Harry presses his words against it.

 

“Oh, nothing,” Louis answers. “Just sitting here learning about uteruses and vaginas as usual.” Harry is usually sitting here reading with him, but he’s been on the phone with his sister for the last half hour.

 

Harry glances at the page he’s currently reading. “You should take a break for a little while. Give your eyes a rest,” he whispers, even though Louis knows Harry has no intentions of letting either of them rest if he puts this book down.

 

“In a little while. I want to finish this chapter,” Louis says, thumbing at the few pages that he still has left.

 

“I can just tell you about it. I read this one last week,” he says, trailing his lips down the slope of Louis’ neck. “Our baby has a tiny face, and itty bitty nubs for ears that can _probably_ hear Amanda’s voice now. It can yawn and move a bit, however Amanda can’t feel it yet, and apparently, it is the size of a very small avocado. Now, come get in bed with me,” he smirks with those big green eyes that he hopes are currently developing on their child. 

 

“You just spoiled the entire ending of my chapter. There’s no way I’m going anywhere with you,” he says just to watch the way Harry’s eyes crinkle up in laughter.

 

“You bought two dozen books about pregnancy, birth, and fetus development. They all end the same.”

 

Louis doesn’t argue with Harry when he shuts his book and gently wedges it from his hands. He places it on the coffee table and Louis climbs over into his lap without question.

 

He missed this part of them during all those months that they were so unsure of what the future held for them. Louis had been so disappointed and felt so lost each time they went to the doctor and left with bad news, but now everything feels renewed. Even the way Harry’s hands feel against him these days is just so much better than he remembers. This process started off a little rough, but now they’re excited and enjoying the experience of becoming first time parents like any other couple who’s as in love and overjoyed as them.

 

When they finish making love that night, he cradles Harry close to his heart, hoping he can hear and feel every quick beat of it. He’s so immensely happy right now that at times it’s overwhelming. He smiles to himself knowing that in just five short months things are going to get even better.

 

-

 

“How the hell am I supposed to buy your kid cute stuff if you can’t even tell me if it’s a boy or a girl?” Niall asks.

 

“There are gender neutral colors,” Liam kindly answers him. “Just last week I bought them a yellow baby bag with little ducklings on it,” he smiles. Harry smiles along with him, because he _loves_ that bag. He can’t wait to put all of their baby’s tiny little belongings in it. Maybe they should paint the room yellow.

 

Niall scoffs as he tapes up another box full of things that used to belong here in the guestroom; in _Harry’s_ old room to be more specific.

 

“And since when are ducks ‘ _gender neutral’_?”

 

“Um, since when are they not?” Liam asks as he holds out his hand for Niall to give him the tape next. “You can buy anything you want. It’s not like a baby actually knows or cares what color it is or which animal is on it.”

 

“ _Or_ Harry and Louis could get over themselves so I can know whether to prepare myself for tea parties or football.”

 

“Boys like tea and girls can play football,” Liam informs him, causing Niall to roll his eyes.

 

Harry grins and listens to his friends argue about gender norms and stereotyping as he moves to tackle what’s left of the junk in the closet. There isn’t much that’s still in here since Harry moved out of this room almost as soon as Louis gave it to him. It’s the closest room to his and Louis’ bedroom out of the three extra ones that they have and there wasn’t much stuff in here to begin with, so that automatically catapulted it to nursery status.

 

There’s already a long row of tiny hangers on the rung with newborn-sized onesies, all in neutral colors except a couple of random splashes of pink and purple which Louis claims to have ‘accidentally’ fallen in with the others while they were out shopping. Harry thought he was so cute lying through his teeth that he didn’t even tease him for secretly wanting a little girl even though he swears he has no preference and doesn’t want to know their baby’s gender.

 

Harry kneels down to collect the pairs of shoes and boots that he and Louis wear in the winter and puts them into one of the empty boxes behind him. There’s a pile of coats on the floor that Louis must’ve been too excited or lazy to deal with when he was hanging up baby clothes so Harry tosses them over into the box as well. He pulls at what he thinks is the sleeve of a thin jacket and pauses when he sees that’s it’s not a jacket at all, but his old backpack, still as faded and tattered as it was the night Louis drove through the city to find him and bring him here.

 

He hasn’t had a reason to really be in this room for the last few years so he hasn’t seen his bag in a while, though he’s never once forgotten that it’s here.

 

He thought about throwing it away when he and Louis first got together and then again when they got married, but he just couldn’t do it; can’t do it, because even though being homeless was a brief period in his life, it was probably the most important. Everything he is and has become is a result of those dark times, and now his life is so full of light that at times he thinks he’s dreaming and things are only getting brighter each day.

 

He places the backpack into the box with all the other things that are to be moved to another room; a constant reminder of where he came from, momentarily out of sight, but never out of his mind.

 

*

 

Everything moves fast in the next few months. So fast that Harry feels as though all he did was blink and suddenly they’re in month number nine.

 

He remembers looking at Amanda’s flat tummy on the day they found out she was pregnant wondering if there really was a baby in there. There’s no denying it now. Her stomach is just as round and huge as he remembers Gemma’s being back when she was in her final month of pregnancy and he and Louis couldn’t be more thrilled to know that it’s all because of their gloriously chubby baby that’s due to be born soon.

 

Harry can’t stand it. He’s watched Amanda’s stomach grow, felt the baby kicking and moving beneath his palm, but to be able to actually _hold_ his son or daughter? It’s a thought that sends adrenaline coursing through his body. The fact that it’s all happening so soon nearly sends him rocketing straight through the roof.

 

It’s the week before Amanda’s due date and everything on his and Louis’ baby-related check list has been taken care of. They’ve got the nursery all setup and painted in a soft green with the hospital bag packed and waiting in the beautiful rocking chair that Louis’ mother gave them. They’ve got all the clothes and bottles and other necessities that any kid could ever need, so now all that’s left to do is wait.

 

He and Louis sleep almost like infants themselves each night, waking up every few hours to check their phones for any new baby developments from Amanda. They’re so wired and riled up that even Duke thinks they’re ridiculous, seeking refuge in the living room of all places so he can get some peace.

 

Their friends and family try to help distract them, but even when they’re all together Harry’s thoughts are on the fifty-billion pages of baby information now forever branded in his memory because he knows their day is getting close.

 

They wake up on the day before their due date anxious and buzzing more than ever before. Harry can feel little butterflies in his stomach whenever he thinks about how close they are to meeting their child and he wonders if that’s how Amanda feels all the time.

 

“So, what do you think? Should we venture out into society and go?” Louis asks through a wide yawn into his fist.

 

Harry bites at his lip, feeling a bit guilty.

 

“Well, it’s not like we have a valid reason for _not_ going. Not yet anyway.” The two of them already explained to Marianne and their employees at work that they’re going to be taking the next few weeks off until they get their new routine with the baby figured out. They had said that their time off would start this weekend since Amanda is due on Sunday, but at the moment there’s no baby to take care of and there hasn’t been any sign of that changing any time soon.

 

“It would keep our hands and minds occupied for a bit while we wait,” Harry says. Volunteering is bound to be more productive than the two of them just sitting around the flat staring at their phones.

 

“Yeah, you’re probably right. We can just stop by to see how everything’s going. We can stop by your shops as well if you want.”

 

Harry knows his staff at both of his shops have everything under control. He’s not actually worried, but checking in would give him and Louis something else to do.

 

“Okay, then. Let’s go,” Harry agrees, smiling when Louis smacks a wet kiss to his stubbly jaw.

 

 

They stop by St. Mary’s first thing to say hello to Marianne and ask if she needs anything. First she thanks them for coming over to check on her and then she scolds the both of them for not being home to await the arrival of their little one. Louis explains that they’re far too excited to sit around at home and she seems a bit more sympathetic. She doesn’t let them off the hook too easily though because she quickly puts Harry to work in the kitchen and Louis out in the dining area while she speaks to the group of first-time volunteers for the day.

 

Harry still enjoys being in this place even after all these years. He knows it like the back of his hand and grins to himself as he gets to work digging through the cabinets to prepare some of the food that’s going to be served later on.

 

He turns on the water and lets it run over the large stalks of broccoli in his hands, swearing in his mind when his phone starts vibrating in his front pocket.

 

It stops and then vibrates once more by the time Harry has turned off the water and dried his hands, knowing that it’s probably just his sister calling him for her daily baby update. He reaches into his pocket expecting to see Gemma’s name there. His heart skips several beats when he sees two missed calls from Amanda instead and hears the sound of quick feet against the floor.

 

“Haz! HAZ!” Louis screams, nearly falling over when he nearly runs right past the kitchen door. “Amanda just called. We’ve got contractions fifteen minutes apart!” he says so quickly that Harry almost misses it, but he’s read enough baby books to know what that means. _It’s time._

 

“We’ve got to go,” Harry smiles, his heart racing. “ _Fuck_ ,” he swears and then winces, forgetting that he’s in a _church_. “We left the hospital bag at home.”

 

“That’s okay. We’ll just swing by and get it on the way.”

 

It’s the only plan they’ve got so Harry quickly agrees. “Okay, but we have to go now. Find Marianne and tell her what’s going on. Call Josh and tell him to go get Duke. I’ll text people on the way to the car,” he says already on his way out of the kitchen, completely abandoning the vegetables he was just washing.

 

He only gets one foot out of the room before Louis stops him with a hand around his bicep. He pushes Harry against the threshold and presses their lips together with the same fiery energy as he did right in this same spot the day that they got married.

 

“I love you,” he whispers making Harry’s stomach flutter even more than it already was.

 

“I love you too,” he says, laughing when Louis gently pushes him from the door.

 

“I know. Now, go text everyone that our kid’s coming,” he smirks before running off to go find Marianne.

 

*

 

Everyone that they love drives down during the seven long hours that Amanda is in labor until finally she’s ready to push. The two of them stand just outside the door as their child is being born. Amanda asked for privacy during the birth which isn’t asking much considering all the amazing things she has done for them.

 

It takes a lot longer than he and Louis expect from the time pushing starts to when it’s all over, but the wait is so worth it when they hear the first cry of their baby and the door opening to let them in.

 

Harry doesn’t know where to look first with so much going on in the room, but his eyes soon find the source of the tiny little whimpers that cause his own eyes to fill up with tears. A nurse comes over to them and places their baby in Louis’ arms who is so tiny that his hands span from the head to each of it’s tiny little bundled feet.

 

“Meet your daughter,” she smiles, causing Harry’s breath to catch in his throat. Their _daughter._

 

Louis leans down to press the lightest kiss Harry’s ever seen on the soft skin of her forehead like he’s afraid she’ll break in two, his cheeks wet and glistening when he blinks up at Harry and carefully hands her to him.

 

His daughter is a real weight sitting in his hands, but Harry still has trouble believing that she’s real. It was just over a year ago that Harry sent up a silent prayer over his birthday candles to get the chance to live this moment and now he’s here holding the end result.

 

“We have a daughter, Lou,” Harry whispers as warm tears flow down his cheeks. He never knew he could love something as much as he does this baby whom he’s known less than five minutes. “What should we call her?” They wanted to be surprised about whether they were having a girl or a boy so they never really discussed names. There are a few that Harry’s heard or seen over the months that he really likes, but he doesn’t know what Louis would think of them.

 

“I’ve thought about girl names this whole time,” he sniffs, causing Harry to laugh through the tears that refuse to stop flowing.

 

He fucking _knew_ Louis wanted a little girl. He’s such a liar.

 

“I had picked out a few favorites from a book, but then it just came to me one day and I knew a little girl who belongs to us could never be named anything else besides Anne.”

 

Harry turns to meet his husband’s eyes and feels his chest warming all over.

 

“A-After my mother?”

 

“Yeah, love. I know that wherever she is, she wishes she could be here with you and Gemma, watching her grandchildren grow up, and since Gemma and David had a boy I figured you and I could maybe do the honors? What do you think?” he asks when Harry closes his eyes and kisses his little girl’s forehead; _Anne’s_ forehead.

 

There have been so many moments in his life that Harry has wanted his mother to be able to share with him. He wanted to call her up to tell her about the amazing man he fell in love with and the million other wonderful things that have happened to him since. He wishes she could be here now to see how he and that amazing man have just started a brand new chapter in their lives. His daughter will never know her grandmother, she’ll only hear about her, but at least this way she’ll get to hear every story and cherished memory that he has of her and know that she’s named after someone great.

 

Harry hands Anne back to the nurse for her footprints and falls into his husband’s waiting arms. “It’s perfect. Thank you so much,” he mummers into his neck.

 

“You don’t have to thank me,” he chuckles as he lightly runs his fingers through the back of Harry’s hair. “Your mum was amazing and she’d be so proud of you, Haz. I’m honored to have a little girl named after her.”

 

Harry’s tears keep falling as Louis rocks him back and forth because people tell him all the time that his mother would be proud of him, but this is one of the first times that he truly believes it.

 

 

Five Years Later

 

“Haz!”

 

Louis frowns as he searches every possible location in their flat for the three different things he happens to need right now: his phone, Duke’s leash, and his daughter’s lunchbox.

 

He has trouble keeping track of his phone on most mornings as well as Duke’s leash because the idiot thinks it’s a toy and always drags it off somewhere to go chew on it, but an entire fucking _lunchbox_? He shakes his head, wondering how on Earth they’re going to handle the arrival of their second child in a few months when Louis can’t even keep track of a box with glittery flowers on it with tiny flecks that fall off and get all over their clothes and anything else it touches. Why Niall bought the stupid thing in the first place is beyond him.

 

“Yeah?” he hears his husband call from… somewhere in the flat. He comes wandering into the living room a few seconds later with Duke already on his leash, Anne dressed and holding her backpack with her long hair intricately braided in a way that makes Louis’ brain hurt just looking at it, and miraculously, Louis’ phone which he digs out of the front pocket of his jeans. “You left it on the sink.”

 

Louis accepts the phone when Harry places it in his hands, thankful that at least one of them has their shit together this morning. “Thanks, love. And I can’t find Anne’s lunchbox. Have you seen it?”

 

“Oh, yeah. I forgot to tell you it’s in the fridge. I packed it last night,” he grins.

 

Louis could cry from how happy he is to hear that. His husband is an _actual_ superhero.

 

“Ugh! Thank you. I love you so much,” Louis says, holding Harry’s face in his hands to keep him still while he kisses him over and over until he’s laughing and trying to squirm away.

 

“You’re welcome,” he giggles as he ducks away from the sudden attack. “Now, you go take Duke out and I’ll go start breakfast.”

 

“Yes, sir,” Louis salutes him. Louis will gladly take Duke out if it means Harry’s running things in the kitchen this morning. They usually end up eating burnt toast and yogurt when it’s left up to Louis.

 

He heads for the door with Duke in tow. He catches his daughter’s bright blue eyes when he bends down to tie on his shoes. “Anne, love? Do you want to help me walk Duke or help daddy in the kitchen with breakfast?”

 

Anne seems to give his question thought for a few seconds before skipping over to him wearing a dimpled grin identical to Harry’s when he rolls his eyes at their daughter ditching him. She and Duke are as thick as thieves. Harry really shouldn’t be surprised at this point.

 

“I want to go with you today!” she says, dropping her backpack at the door and taking Louis’ hand. Louis is well aware that having Duke on his side automatically makes him the more appealing option, but his heart still melts like butter when Anne smiles up at him as warm as the sun just because she’s going to be in his company.

 

“We’ll be right back,” he tells Harry who fondly rolls his eyes at the pair of them as he waves them goodbye.

 

It’s chilly once they get outside, and Anne steps on every crunchy leaf in their path, laughing in delight when she finds particularly large ones that make a lot of noise.

 

“Can I walk Duke now?” she asks once they enter the park and she’s already bored of her leaf game. Louis nods like always and places the end of the leash in her little hand.

 

They move to the grassy part of the park so Duke will hurry with finding somewhere good enough to take a piss. He ends up just rolling around in the cool blades like he hasn’t a care in the world. Louis begs him to go and eventually gives up, laughing as Anne stoops down to talk to him like a person and explains that breakfast will be ready soon so he needs to hurry.

 

“I like your hair today, love. It’s very pretty,” Louis tells her.

 

“Thank you,” she beams. “Daddy did it for me,” she informs him even though Louis already knew that. No one else in the house has the skill or patience to do something like that. “Auntie Gemma showed him how on the phone. She wears her hair like this all the time.”

 

Louis smirks to himself. So _that’s_ how he pulled it off. By using the power of FaceTime and his big sister. Cheater.

 

“Well, he did a beautiful job. Did you tell him so and thank him?”

 

“Yep!” she answers. “He was shy. He turned all red when I said he was the best at making pretty hair.” She smirks the same way Louis does whenever he says or does something to make Harry blush. Louis didn’t realize their daughter paid so much attention to small things like that. That’s why Louis loves these small moments with her; walks in the park or a lazy Sunday morning in bed after Harry’s gone to open up his shops. He gets to learn so much about her. She’s been in their lives for five years and Louis feels like he learns something new or finds something else to love about her each day.

 

“You know,” Louis begins. “When your little brother gets here, Daddy might be so busy doing his hair that _I_ might have to start doing your hair _and_ cooking breakfast,” he teases. “Won’t that be fun?”

 

His daughter doesn’t look excited about it in the slightest as a little crease forms between her eyebrows.

 

“Babies don’t have hair and you only know how to make toast.”

 

“ _Eggs_ on toast. It’s a complicated meal,” Louis corrects her. “And you had tons of hair when you were born, so he might have a head full too.” Anne is also Harry’s biological daughter so that’s mostly why she had so much. Their second child has Louis’ DNA, and a biological mother with straight hair as well, so Anne may actually be right in this case. They wanted to go with Amanda as their surrogate again, but she’s currently carrying for another couple and he and Harry didn’t want Anne to be too old before giving her a sibling so they went with Chelsea instead.

 

“You don’t even know how to do girl hair,” she continues matter-of-factly. Correction; Louis doesn’t know how to do _his_ little girl’s hair. He quickly found that out once it became apparent that Anne’s hair would be nothing like his little sisters’ and that she had in fact inherited Harry’s beautiful, chocolate ringlets just like Louis had hoped, though her curls are much tighter and bigger than Harry’s ever were. Apparently brushing through the tiny spirals and trying to untangle them while dry isn’t a thing that you can really do which is why his husband banned Louis from touching it at all with a self-satisfied, “ _I told you so_.”

 

“When will he be here?” Anne asks after Duke finally does his business over near a tree and she praises him for it.

 

She’s been asking him and Harry that every few weeks ever since they told her she was going to become a big sister. As it turns out, nine months is just as long of a wait for an anxious five-year-old as it is when you’re over thirty.

 

“Just three more months,” Louis answers her, though she looks up at him like she doesn’t know exactly how long that is. “Do you remember when we all went to the zoo with uncle Zayn, uncle Liam, and uncle Niall? Well that was nearly three months ago and it seems like just yesterday, doesn’t it?” Louis feels jittery and excited all the time while waiting for his and Harry’s son to be born. It’s just as much of a rush as it was waiting for Anne to get here when he was an eager mess and here he is being a complete hypocrite telling Anne not to worry because their second baby will be here before they know it.

 

Three months is an eternity when you just want to meet your new family member.

 

“That sounds like a long time,” she sighs. Louis grins because a week from now probably seems like a long time to her.

 

“He’ll be here very soon,” Louis promises. “You’ll blink, and then the next day you’ll be holding him and helping me and your dad keep him safe.”

 

“Daddy says I’m going to be a great big sister,” she smiles. Louis leans over to kiss the top of her head. He’s so proud of her already.

 

“He’s right. You’re going to be an amazing big sister, love.”

 

*

 

Three months come and go so quickly that Louis feels as though he didn’t even have time to _think_ about blinking before Charlie arrives. They had it relatively easy with Anne. She didn’t cry much and kept the same sleeping pattern throughout her infancy. Louis figured everyone was just teasing them and taking the piss when they said their second one would probably be more challenging, but they were right. They love him more than anything in the world with his big brown eyes and tiny wisps of sandy colored hair, Louis just wishes he’d rest more.

 

“He doesn’t want his bottle. He doesn’t need to be changed,” Louis says, trying to soothe him but just making it ten times worse. “I don’t know what the hell he wants.”

 

“Here, let me try,” Harry offers.

 

Louis hands their son off to him and feels his blood boil because the child stops screaming after only a few seconds in his husband’s arms. Why couldn’t he have done that when Louis was just holding him?

 

Harry gives him a look of empathy as he rocks their son against his chest. “He can tell when you’re frustrated, babe.”

 

Louis takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. He _was_ getting quite frustrated just now. Way too frustrated over something as trivial as the baby being fussy at bedtime. What the hell is wrong with him?

 

“I’m gonna go check on Anne. I’ll be right back.”

 

Harry meets his eyes with more understanding than Louis probably deserves before he leaves.

 

“Love you,” he says, instantly making Louis feel a bit better.

 

“Love you too. I’ll just be a minute,” Louis promises before tiptoeing down the corridor to her room.

 

He needs a break from his son, which sounds horrible, but sometimes a short intermission with his daughter who eats, drinks, sleeps, and uses the bathroom all on her own and without a fuss is a nice change of pace. Especially on hard nights like this one.

 

He pushes Anne’s door open all the way and grins at the way Duke’s head pops up from the foot of her bed as soon as he hears the hinges creak. He and Harry had initially been so concerned about Duke and how he’d react to having a child in the flat. Louis didn’t think there was anyone in the world that Duke could love more than Harry until the day they brought Anne home. Duke jumped ship almost immediately and has slept here in this room with her ever since like her little protector.

 

Louis pulls the covers up over her shoulders, amazed that she’s still asleep after the racket Charlie just made for the last twenty minutes. They got a note from school a few days ago about Anne being tired at school. Louis and Harry wrote back and apologized, but explained that they’re trying to get her little brother on a better sleeping schedule at night. Things like that take time, though.

 

He kisses her temple and when he stands back up he notices his daughter’s backpack in the middle of the floor. He could’ve sworn he placed it in the chair beside her window like he and Harry always do before she goes to bed. The zipper isn’t fully closed when Louis picks the bag up by the straps, causing two apples and a couple of granola bars to roll out onto the floor, which is strange because he didn’t notice any food at the bottom of her bag earlier this evening when he and Harry helped her with homework.

 

Louis raises an eyebrow, wondering how they both could’ve missed that, but doesn’t question it as he puts the food back in there. Charlie has kept them awake so much that Louis’ sure he and Harry have overlooked a lot more than a couple of random apples. Maybe she didn’t get to eat all of her snack today so Harry put in another apple and granola bar without realizing it.  Or maybe she wasn’t hungry and just didn’t eat her snack for a couple of days. Whatever. She’ll just have extra for tomorrow.

 

When Louis leaves his daughter’s room he feels much more like himself. He needed those few minutes to get his head right just like Harry needed a moment to himself a few days ago when Charlie woke up screaming at three in the morning and refused to sleep until it was time for them to get up and get Anne off to school.

 

“Feeling better?” Harry asks with a sleepy grin when he returns. Louis leans down to connect their lips in a soft kiss and then drops a kiss to Charlie’s forehead whose little eyelids flutter from the touch.

 

“Much better. I’ll take the baby now. You’re exhausted and you have to be up first. You should go get some sleep.”

 

“No, I’m not tired. I’m fine,” he says around a large yawn that gives him away.

 

“Liar,” Louis smirks. “Go get in bed, love. I’ll be in there as soon as I put Charlie down,” he promises.

 

It takes a few seconds to wear him down, but eventually Harry gets up. He lingers in the doorway of Charlie’s room with this guilty expression on his face.

 

“I’ve got this. Go,” Louis laughs.

 

He watches his husband leave and shakes his head at the two of them, mostly at himself. He can’t believe he got so frustrated earlier, especially with the beautiful little boy blinking up at him with his big chocolate eyes. He loves Charlie more than words can describe, even if he does wail like he’s being tortured from time to time. He and Harry have been so blessed and sometimes Louis forgets that. There’s nothing they can’t do. They’ve got this.

 

-

 

Harry so does not have this. Actually, he’s pretty certain that he’s losing his mind because he and Louis have gone to pick up grocery nearly every day for the past couple of weeks and yet somehow there’s never any fucking food in the kitchen.

 

It started slowly at first: a piece of fruit gone missing or a pack or two of gummy fruit snacks mysteriously disappearing into thin air, but now it’s evolved to entire sandwiches and boxes of Anne’s granola bars evaporating even when he’s certain he and Louis bought enough for the week.

 

He’s been losing his mind because of the elusive food thief and now he’s losing it this morning because Anne’s lunch box is missing yet _again._

 

For as long as Harry can remember, he’s gotten her lunch box out of her backpack after they finish with dinner and homework. Louis goes to get her ready for bed while Harry cleans up the kitchen, and when he’s done he packs Anne’s lunch and snack for the next day. If it’s something that needs to be kept cold, he puts it in the fridge, if it’s something that can be left out he just puts it on the counter until the next day because Louis is a mess first thing in the morning and can hardly keep track of himself let alone Anne’s things. It’s as simple as that, and yet somehow it isn’t, because the damn thing is nowhere to be found.

 

“Did you see it in there?” he asks when Louis comes back into the kitchen.

 

“Yeah, it was already in her backpack again,” Louis says with Charlie in one arm and Duke whining at Louis’ feet because he needs to go out.

 

“What the hell was it doing in there? I put in on the counter out of her reach last night. I remember doing it.”

 

“I don’t know how, but Anne had to have moved it. I know I didn’t,” Louis shrugs. Harry doesn’t understand why she’s been so weird lately. Maybe it’s because of the new baby.

 

“Anne,” Louis calls into the living room where she’s reading to herself and paying the chaos of their morning no attention whatsoever. “Did you move your lunchbox and put it in your bag?”

 

“…Mmmhmm,” she hums from the living room sofa.

 

Louis gives him a ‘ _told you so’_ look as he rolls his eyes. “Love, didn’t we talk about leaving things where they are so Daddy and I can easily find them?”

 

“I’m sorry,” comes a little voice that apparently pierces Louis’ soul from the pitiful yet sympathetic face he makes upon hearing it. Harry feels his heart soften as well. After all, he’s not really upset about the lunchbox. He’s just crazy because they’ve got two small children now and a dog who’s still whining to go outside because they’re running a bit behind schedule today.

 

Harry grabs the leash from Louis to go take Duke out since he’s busy holding the baby. Louis offers to take care of breakfast today since Harry’s having a rough morning, and he couldn’t be more grateful. Harry stops by the sofa on his way out to press a kiss to his daughter’s head in silent apology for letting the stress of the morning get to him. “You want to come help me with Duke?” he asks.

 

He smiles when Anne does as she shuts her book and quickly hops off the couch to come join him.

 

*

 

It’s nearly midnight on a Sunday when Harry leaves Louis in the nursery with the baby to go fix a warm bottle.

 

Charlie’s sleep schedule has gotten much better over the last couple of weeks, but he still puts up a bit of a fight when they try to put him down for the night. Warm milk usually does the trick so Harry sets off to go heat some up.

 

Harry twists the cap off of the empty bottle as he quietly walks down the corridor so that he doesn’t wake up Anne. He gets to the kitchen and freezes when he sees her there instead of in her room asleep like she should be at this hour. She’s standing up on the step-stool in her pajamas, stuffing random snacks into her lunchbox that Harry packed and sat in the fridge just a few hours ago. Finally, the great lunchbox slash food mystery of the Tomlinson-Styles household solved.

 

Duke notices him before Anne does, coming over to say hello when he sees him and whines to be picked up. Anne only sees Harry standing next her when she looks to her right to shush Duke and tell him to be quiet.

 

“And _why_ exactly does Duke need to be so quiet?” Harry grins down at her.

 

Anne’s eyes widen at the sight of him. She drops all the food in her hands and instantly looks remorseful for being caught red-handed. “So he doesn’t wake you and Daddy up.”

 

“Well, we’re not sleeping yet. We’ve been up with your brother this whole time, but I’m pretty sure _you’re_ the one who’s supposed to be in bed right now,” he says.

 

“I know,” she says with guilty eyes. “I’m sorry.”

 

Harry takes quick inventory of the new snacks that he and Louis just bought this afternoon because the ones they bought at the beginning of the week are already gone.

 

“Do you do this a lot? Wait until everyone’s asleep and then sneak out of bed?” The note from Anne’s teacher about her being tired during the day now makes a lot more sense. He and Louis figured she wasn’t sleeping as well at night because of the baby crying.

 

“Yes, sometimes,” she admits, but she quickly turns defensive. “But, I just wanted to help. I didn’t want to make you and Daddy mad.”

 

She keeps saying that; that she wants to help, but it doesn’t really make sense to him in this case. She lets him and Louis hunt around for her lunchbox which she’s clearly been stuffing to the brim every night and says nothing about it the next morning.

 

“You help us every morning by walking Duke or making breakfast, love. We pack your lunch and your snack for you. You don’t have to do it.”

 

“But… nobody packs lunch for Caroline. She doesn’t get snacks either.”

 

Harry blinks at her in confusion. Who the hell is Caroline? “Who is that, love?”

 

“My friend from school.” The name rings a bell now that Harry’s thinking back on it. Caroline is the little girl who came over to play with Anne a few weeks ago.

 

“Anne, how do you know that no one packs her food?”

 

“Because she doesn’t bring any. Her sister and brother don’t either. They don’t have a lot of food at home like we do and she doesn’t have money for lunch at school.”

 

The things his daughter is telling him makes his chest feel uncomfortably tight all of a sudden. “Did Caroline talk to you about all of this?” Anne nods with her big blue eyes that remind him so much of Louis’ even though they’re a shade darker. “Can you tell me everything that she said, please?” His daughter looks up at him like she’s still afraid of being in trouble for what she’s done. “You’re not in trouble, baby. You can talk to me. It’s okay,” Harry assures her.

 

He and Anne talk in the kitchen for a long time before he hugs her for being so wonderful and then sends her back to bed. It’s almost twelve-thirty when he makes his way back to Charlie’s room with a fresh bottle in his hand, but his son is already asleep he notices as Louis carefully places him down into his crib.

 

“There you are. Did you have to milk the cow?” Louis smirks.

 

He looks exhausted, but Harry thinks he’s gorgeous even with the bags under his eyes which are slowly starting to fade now that their son is sleeping more at night. Louis was at his wits end just a few weeks ago and now he’s the perfect image of patience, handling their son with newfound confidence and skill. Harry admires him so much. He’s never seen fatherhood fit someone as well as Louis when he’s with their children.

 

“ _No_ ,” Harry grins. “I didn’t run into any cows out there…just Anne.”

 

Louis winces at that. “Oh, no. The baby woke her up?”

 

“Surprisingly, no. She was up all on her own raiding the kitchen. I caught her stuffing extra food in her lunchbox so I now know why we’ve had to replace her snacks so often. I asked her why she was doing that and she told me that she’s been sneaking extra food to school because her friend Caroline doesn’t bring lunch on most days. She said Caroline’s dad moved out and her mum stopped working. I’m pretty sure she lost her job,” Harry explains.

 

Hearing how hard of a time Caroline’s mother has been having caused Harry’s stomach to twist the whole time he helped his daughter make sandwiches for her and her children. Harry’s been there before and he’ll never forget it. He can’t imagine having to go through that with three children when he barely even made it some days just taking care of himself.

 

Louis’ expression had been quite amused at first as he listened to what Harry caught their eldest child doing, but his eyes turn concerned once he realizes why she’s been acting so strange.

 

“Isn’t Caroline the little girl who came over for dinner that one time?”

 

“Yeah. She has an older brother and an older sister. I guess Caroline shares the stuff that Anne gives her every day.”

 

“Jesus, that’s terrible. How long has this been going on? Has nobody at the school noticed that something’s not right? I can’t believe Anne didn’t say something to us about this,” Louis sighs. “I’ll call the school and I’ll get in touch with community outreach tomorrow. I’ll talk to her mum too. Things at their house may be way worse than Caroline or Anne even realize.”

 

Harry couldn’t believe that Anne would hide something so important from them either. She never has before.

 

“I asked her why she tried to take on a problem this big and started sneaking around instead of just asking for help.”

 

Harry grins to himself as he thinks back on her answer.

 

Louis meets his eyes with a weary expression. Anne’s been known to quip out a smart reply from time to time. Louis claims he has no idea where she picked it up from. “Oh, God. What did she say this time?” he asks with a long sigh.

 

“She said that you and I always help people when they need it and that she wanted to help too.”

 

Harry watches as his husband’s eyes become incredibly fond and suspiciously glossy all of a sudden. He understands completely because he experienced the same sort of phenomenon hearing it in person.

 

“Fuck,” he grins in spite of himself. “She really said that?”

 

“She did,” Harry says feeling so proud of her. It’s no wonder she feels that way. She’s gone with him to the bakery and with Louis all over the city to see the work that they do. He just didn’t realize that their actions have made such a huge impact on their little girl; that they were leading by example.

 

“We raised a good kid, didn’t we, Haz?”

 

Harry smiles down at Charlie in his crib, feeling every bit of love and pride that he has for his son and his daughter practically capsizing his heart. “We did,” he agrees. “And we’re still not done. We’ve got one more to raise now and thankfully Anne still has a while to go,” he grins.

 

Their journey together has already been a wild, and amazing one. Louis found him and pulled him out of the dark and then both of their lives brightened, first with the arrival of their amazing daughter and then again with their amazing son. He keeps thinking that life can’t hold anymore happiness than it already does, and he’s proved wrong every single time. He thinks that right now when Louis pulls him down into a long, sleepy kiss. He can’t wait to see what else is in store.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much to LolaTommo for another great request and to FallingLikeThis(Zayniam) for being amazing (as always) and helping me every step of the way! I loved writing this version of Louis and Harry and had so much fun with it!
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> all-these-larrythings.tumblr.com


End file.
